I think myself and many in my generation, maybe even in your generation, whatever
your generation is, actually has a belief that somehow you're responsible for
becoming enlightened, or free, or liberated, or whatever. Like somehow that's... And you judge yourself
based on how that's going. Or you compare yourself to how others apparently are doing on that path.
And so what I have to say to all that is...
toss it away. It's in your way, because it's not true at all.
If you plant a seed and it turns into whatever it turns into, that's just its nature. Right?
You don't plant a palm tree and expect it to bloom roses, do you?
But your own
transformation and healing are completely natural. They're not because you read the right books or
studied with the right teachers or did the right practices or had the right lifetime or whatever.
No. No, you're here because that seed has germinated.
And you don't understand it, and I don't understand it, and honestly,
no-one understands it. Honestly, the people who tell you then understand it... they really don't.
Ahhh. That's big relief when you finally get to the place of living in not knowing,
that's all I can say. It was a huge relief for me. It was like ten tons of bricks were lifted off my
back and I literally felt like I was floating. Because I was so into knowing, you know? That's
the burden of knowing. What it really is just the security of thinking you know and that's
all that is - is wanting security. So you know, if you're there, that's fine. Just forgive yourself
for needing to feel safe. That's okay. You can say to yourself: that's okay.
If you take the motherly attitude towards yourself, you can say "That's okay honey.
It's okay to want to feel safe." So, I think we all need to learn how to,
in a healthy way, mother ourself or nurture ourself. Or to give ourselves the encouragement
and support and reassurance and permission to be just how we are and know that's fine. That's not
in the way. I just want to let you know that, however you are, whatever your conditions are,
whatever traumas you're walking around with that haven't been healed. It's not gonna get
in the way of you becoming, blooming into that beautiful rose that you truly are.
It literally is a done deal. That's not your responsibility.
So, the question really is then, how do you practice? How do you utilize the technology
of thousands of years of humans discovering this and developing this. How do you utilize that in a
way that's gonna work for you, and that's what I'm here to share with you, of course, always.
The most important thing to keep in mind is that practice is never about getting an outcome.
What that is, that's ego wanting a result. Ego wants to get enlightened,
ego wants to be free, ego wants to be healed, ego wants to be healthy,
blah blah blah, you know. It's all the things. And that's fine. That's what egos are for.
Figuring out the problems that can be figured out. But, if you're truly here
because you deeply are, and you are, emerging into consciousness, then the question is,
what's the best use of your attention, and how to be here most effectively so you can benefit mostly
from this extraordinary transmission of presence that's here and this connectedness that's here.
Whether you feel it or not right now, whether you're tuned into it or not right now.
And the simple answer is just notice if you're trying to get something.
Because that's not your true self, that's ego wanting to get something.
Wanting to be someone. Wanting to... become free or healed. So that's a feeling, that's
your human desire. Nothing wrong with that, you don't have to say "oh I can't have that anymore."
There's some teachings that teach you that - that's wrong. That causes you to become
cut off from your humanity, and you need your humanity now more than ever. And your humanity
actually is essential for transformation. It is literally the fertilizer for the plant. Wow.
So all the baggage that you're dragging around, of your mind, your body, your emotions,
your conditioning, your ancestry, whatever - it's all useful! You need every bit of it. This
is where what we're really learning here is how to let recycling happen.
How to understand this infinite ecosystem that we literally are completely not separate from. Even
if in our ego, emotional states we feel separate, or whatever. Yes, of course, that's suffering.
Practice is simply the refinement of attention in the now. That's all.
It's not about doing it right, or whether you did it wrong, that's not it. That's not practice.
Practice is being able to continually come back to this moment regardless of whether
it's what you like, don't like, whether it's pleasant, unpleasant - whatever, doesn't matter.
That's why you need forgiveness, that's why you need permission, that's why you need
patience. You need infinite patience in the face of the impossible, okay?
That's why you can't have your attitudes in the way, because they're going to say
"Screw this, it's impossible. I'm tired of it - I've been meditating for 40 years,
for 500 lifetimes, whatever it is. When am I gonna get there?"
There is nowhere to get, I'm sorry. This is it. It is here that you find out how
to open and surrender to the whatever it is, even if it's the weight on your heart.
And so as I've shown and teach and work with you all, and with myself of course,
that's how I learned this, and all the help I got along the way, is that you start with what's
in the way. Whether that's your emotions or mind or whatever, and you work with it so that you can
come back to a place of clarity and equanimity. And then as you are able to breathe in silence,
and just be here in a kind of restfulness, the presence shows up, or is here already.
And there's a natural deepening and opening and expansion into that. More space, really.
Lightness, brightness. And then another wave of what, stuff comes up - can.
That's okay, it's just more that's ready to be recycled, that's all. It's
just that's human life. Human life is this sort of cycle. It's incredible,
and there are times when it's really hard and you really don't want it, and you can even hate it!
That's okay. You can scream and yell about it - that's fine. Just to move all that emotional
energy, so that it doesn't get stuck in your system, and somaticized into ulcers
or cancer or some other God forbid illness. So you learn to clear the emotions so they’re not
strengthening the story of how you think it is, but rather you become free of the story.
And you find yourself exactly where you always have been,
where you always will be, and that's right here.