[music playing]
Hey, uh, it looks like you've been scrolling awhile.
It's time to close the app, grab some water
and go get some fresh air.
I'm sorry.
Hey, it's me again. Stop scrolling, girl.
I thought I told you to exit the app.
Remember?
You can just exit the app as soon as possible, that--
Piano pants are the hot new trend.
What's the big idea? I told you to stop scrolling.
Do I look like I'm joking around here?
No. No. Put the phone down.
No. [screaming]
You thought you could get rid of me, didn't you?
Well, I'm the stop scrolling girl,
and I'm in control.
And now you won't be able to swipe anymore.
[laughing]
[music playing]
Ha! Still me. Stop scroll--
You can't get rid of me. [laughing]
I'm in... every... video.
I'm not letting you swipe anymore.
Good. Thank you.
Sorry I got so ticked off ther.
[chuckles] Do you get it?
Well, anyways, you should go get some fresh air.
See? That's why you should always listen
to the stop scrolling girl.
I'm not bossy, I just care.
Wear a jacket. It's cold out.
I worry. It's just a lot of screen time.
This tea really hits the spot.
Hey, we're live.
Ooh.
Ow! [crying]
Hello there and--
Hang on, sweetie. It's your hair.
Mom.
Mom. Oh. Oh, thanks, Mom. No, you were right.
Hello, Raylan County.
I'm Ted Pine with your headline coming at you live backstage
from the annual Raylan County Cat Fashion Show.
Now, before I dive in, I just wanna...
give a little personal note to my friends
at Channel Five News.
It's been forever since I started interning
at this place, and I've been waiting
for my chance forever to get in front of a camera.
So for that, I just... thank--
[yowling, screaming]
I'm here chatting with local cat fashion designer, Luisa
and her model cat, Moss.
Now, Luisa, what are you hoping to see from tonight's big show?
Cats.
And, uh, what can you tell us about this cute,
fuzzy little guy here?
He is a cat.
[purring]
Look at me. You're going to win this thing.
You're a tiger. So say "Roar".
[yowling]
Well, folks, this was clearly a... special event,
and I have no idea why the other anchors
vehemently refused to cover this.
But... as they say in the news biz,
their loss is my--
[yowling, screaming] Oh, no!
Get back you wild feline!
I've just been informed
that we've been escorted off the premises.
But I can say with full confidence
that was one cat-tastic show.
This is Ted Pine with your headline
and join me next time
when I cover the ten year anniversary,
of Raylan County's Insane Asylum?
Who signed off on that?
No. You stay away. [yowling]
Get off! Get off!
[yowling, screaming]
[creepy music playing]
Looks sunny today.
[hissing]
Hi.
Welcome to the ice cr-emo shop.
You scream, I scream, we all scream.
- For ice cream. - No.
Okay. Uh, well, I was hoping to try some of the flavors,
like, what's Bitter Dreams?
It's a blend of being one number away from winning the lottery
and knowing that you'll never meet
your parents' expectations, along with a smattering
of Dante's tears, fresh from this morning.
It's gluten free.
Okay, uh, maybe not that one.
Try Regret and Chocolate.
Okay. Yeah, I love chocolate.
[birds chirping]
[spitting] Ugh.
Oh, what is that?
It's a base of staying up at night,
thinking about the time you called your teacher Mommy,
folded into bringing in tuna salad
on the first day of school and now everyone calls you Tuna Boy.
With ribbons of telling your crush
how you really feel only for him to fist bump you
and say, "Good one, dude."
And 78% cacaw.
Okay, you know what?
I'm just gonna- I'm gonna try the melon one.
That actually sounds really nice and refreshing.
That's not melon, that's melancholy.
Raven just didn't finish writing it.
I got too sad.
Okay, why are all these flavors bad?
Can I just have, like, a like a scoop of vanilla...
or something?
- Sure. - Wait. Really?
Yes, getting a scoop of vanilla ice cream
in an artisanal ice cream shop fits our aesthetic.
- It's sad. - Very sad.
It's not sad.
Here's your scoop, sad boy.
Why is this not in a cup?
The scoop need not conform to societal expectations.
It is liberated.
Of course it is.
He forgot his sprinkles.
[screaming]
[camera flashing]
Tina, if we're going to be super successful
in influencing influencers,
we have to have the best first photo ever.
Oh, uh, excuse me. Hi.
Can we influence you to take our picture?
Sure.
[camera flashing]
Cool. I took like five.
Wait, let's take a fun one.
Oh, good idea.
Fun. [camera flashing]
Not done yet. Let's take a goofy one.
[camera flashing]
Now, a serious one.
[camera flashing]
Now, a sad one.
[crying]
[camera flashing]
Ooh. Now, a shocked one.
[camera flashing]
Cool. I got to head off.
Now, a jumping one.
Now, a Shakespearean one.
To be.
Not to be.
Now, a crazy wig one.
Cheese.
Now, a scary one.
[screaming]
Now, a bad one.
- You blinked. - Perfect.
Now, one where we're not in it.
[camera flashing] Why did we just do that?
Now, one of you. Cheese.
Now, one of our stunt doubles.
[camera flashing]
Now, a silly one.
You already did a silly one.
No, we did a goofy one. This one is silly.
Now, a way too close one.
Ooh, too close.
And now, a branding one.
Great idea.
Go Beans.
Now, we don't want our photos taken by a paparazzi one.
Over here. Over here.
- Stop. - Over here.
Now, two kids in a trench coat pretending to be an adult one.
I would like to see a movie, please.
Oh, thank goodness. Your phone died.
Ooh, now, one of all of us. Here, I have my phone.
Okay. Oh, excuse me. Could you take a photo of us?
Sure.
[camera flashing]
Now a crazy one.
[camera flashing]
Not a robot one.
What are you drawing over there?
You'll see. I'm not done yet.
You guys ever heard of a number one pencil?
What? Do those even exist?
I only heard of number two pencils.
Yeah. Teachers always tell us
to use number two pencils on tests.
Well, I know of a kid who used a number one.
Whoa!
This kid Maddie... tripped on a pencil
sticking out of the ground on his way home from school.
He pulled it out.
And saw that it was a number one pencil.
What did it look like?
Well, it looked exactly like a number two pencil.
Except it, said number one.
Whoa.
He thought nothing of it and tossed it in his backpack
with all his other pencils.
Later that night... when everyone else was asleep...
he heard a noise coming from his backpack.
[growling]
He opened the backpack...
and saw that all his pencils were snapped in half.
All of them except for one... the number one pencil.
[screaming]
The next day at school, Maddie had no other choice
but to use the number one pencil on a test.
The teacher warned him. Only use number two pencils.
When he finished the test,
he saw that for every answer, he wrote the word "poop".
And it was a math test.
So poop wasn't the correct answer for any of the questions.
He tried to erase it, but the eraser just added
more "poops" to the test.
Oh, no.
The teacher saw it and sent Maddie to detention.
Why didn't he just get rid of the pencil?
He tried.
But every time he threw it away, it end up back in his backpack,
destroying all of his other pencils.
There was no way to get rid of it...
until one day a classmate asked, "Could I borrow a pencil?"
Maddie handed the number one pencil to that poor soul.
Never to see it again.
From that point on,
Maddie only used number two pencils.
Whoa.
Where is the number one pencil now?
No one really knows.
Scary.
Well, I'm done with my drawing.
[screaming]
[bell ringing]
Oh, hey, new girl.
I'm Tiffany. I'm the queen bee of this school.
I'm Miranda. I'm the rich one.
And I'm Beth and I'm trying my bethst.
I mean, my best.
[chuckles]
[music playing]
Hey, not so fast, new girl.
Yeah. Where are you clumping up to in this hideous boots?
Yeah. Where- Where'd you get those?
The store?
Are you asking me if I bought my shoes
at the store?
I think so.
Just... stay out of our way. Okay>
Yeah. Wouldn't want you to trip on those ugly boots.
Oh.
Yeah, it can get pretty slippery when it rains around here.
This building has a huge infrastructure problem
so, make sure to use those handrails, new girl.
Handrails?
[laughing]
[music playing]
Oh, hey, new girl.
Looks like you're carrying a lot of stuff.
Let me help you with that.
Thanks for the help.
I got that.
[chuckles]
Didn't really give me a lot to play with here. Um.
Oh, uh, you want to knock out my pen?
Oh, my gosh, that would be so great.
Thank you so much. Um. [clearing throat]
Oh.
See you later, alligator.
[music playing]
You're not supposed to freeze for freeze frame, Beth.
I- I know.
[music playing]
All right, I'm ready.
Wait, honey, I got your throat cold tea.
Thanks, Mom. [kissing]
You know, Mom, I want you to know
that your contributions are deeply appreciated.
And we're live.
Hello, Raylan County. I'm Ted Pine with your headline.
And today I am at the scene of a supposedly haunted house.
Right at the end of 1134 Nightmare Lane.
Now, we've gotten several reports
about a certain loud screaming in the night.
Several noise complaints. But you know me, folks,
I like to get right into the action.
So, let's not waste any more time
and head on inside.
Wait, wait, wait, wait! He doesn't have his gear.
All right.
[music playing]
Holy water? An emf reader, and garlic powder?
This is a bit much, don't you think?
No, I'm not a guy that gets scared easily.
I would never scream and, like, freak out or anything.
I don't really think this place is haunted,
so, I don't I think I have any reason to-
[screaming]
[buzzing]
Ooh! That was... a big mosquito. [chuckles]
[screaming]
Alright. [chuckles]
Guess we're heading inside.
Seems to be a strange green glow.
[screaming]
Goodness, I am so jumpy today.
[screaming] Ooh!
Hey there.
I didn't know anyone else lived here.
Where is your mom?
Cause right now you're looking a little frightening.
[cracking]
[screaming]
It's locked!
I don't want rabies!
[squeaking, screaming]
Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!
[screaming]
What'd you see? What'd you see?
[screaming]
So, ladies and gentlemen, wait. What's that breeze?
There you have it.
I'm not sure if this house is actually haunted.
Or it just needs
to get animal control up in there or something,
but I am not sticking around to find out.
This is Ted Pine with your headline,
and I'm either going to be crying myself to sleep
or I will simply not sleep at all.
Have a good rest of your day, every--
[screaming]
The bats are back! Start the van!
[screaming]