ooooh, naughty!
depression is just this nice feeling that i keep around at all times
(eugene laughs) were you gonna kiss me?
(keith) no, did you want me to? (eugene) NO
what year is it?
we used a ouija board and there was a ghost named “Grrfksh”
heterosexuality is overrated!
(zach) oh, you’re good at it
(eugene) yeah, that’s cause i’m going faster
(both laughing)
wow, nice hole!
there’s something in the baby!
shaving cream!
(surprised laughter)
i can clap with my little lobster feet
don’t shoot until you see the whites of their eggs
(ominous music)
i guess this seems like a good place to lay down my foundation
(reversing)
that’s my house
(eugene) you’re like a sexy grandma baby
(laughing)
(keith) i’ll go back in
i only have great ideas. i don’t know why you’re surprised.
you look so skinty, hunty
Gordo, i’ve got some flesh for you!!
(slowly in unison) watermelon
you wanna look at babies’ bones?
all you can eat is a fucking potato!
this is like the irish famine all over again!
(ned screaming)
(keith) oh my god ned, your son’s things!
how much placenta do i need?
-mmm
(shoes squeaking)
god made me without arms!
then i’d make the boys do it with the boys, and the girls do it with the girls
as it should be
what if we dip our glasses in it?
dip our glasses right in the drink
a taste you can see!
(eugene) flap to get it! flap to get the bread!
(keith) i’ve been thinking. when are they gonna change out urinals with just, like, vacuum hoses
that guys walk up, they put their penis in, and it just sucks all their pee out
(laughter)
wanna lick my stick?
(in unison) cum…
(laughter)
(keith) get outta here! (ned) don’t look, keith
ned, you’re crazy!
(zach) you don’t want that inside you (eugene) no
*knife noise*
(keith, repeatedly) GET AWAY FROME ME (eugene) no, you’re fine!
(ned) i’ll be your blowdryer
(eugene) no, it’s too—
(zach) ranch dressing
(both laughing)
hey everyone! i’m gay bob ross!
(laughing)
uugh i feel awful
(zach) this is my first time being penetrated
(repeatedly) nyang nyang nyang
and i was in love with a much older woman.
i was 7 and she was 35.
(background ) oh my god.
(keith) paris is a different place (laughing)
first thing we’re gonna do here is desegregate the babies!
(keith complaining in the background)
(keith singing) daddy star, intergalactic daddy stuff
(rest of lewberger singing) wish upon a daddy star
(french horn playing)
i don’t love anything.
i’m a tough guy, just like my dad.
(ned, keith, eugene chanting) show your butt! show your butt!
y’know what i mean? hello? umm…
jesus, my tits!
- aww, christ, my fuckin tits
- my tits!
- went too hard on my fuckin tits last night
- it’s time we as men reclaim “tits” for ourselves
one of those hidden talents you don’t know about
just like how keith has two dicks!
(screaming)
i’m just here to have fun
i feel like a princess
(zach laughing)
(giggling)
i’m actually due very soon. we’re expecting.
(zach screaming)
it is uncurdled. thank you for noticing.
mario! i’m in another castle!
let’s find out, bitch!
(keith) tinkle, tinkle, tinkle
(ned) two big juicy brains
(keith) it doesn’t make me wanna fuck!
i want baby alive to go back to being baby dead.
(all try guys yelling over each other)
i don’t play chest
we don’t love you
penis to ass.
hey, i’ll see you soon
how could you say that?!!
(sexily) boop. oooh, beep beep boop.
dog seemed okay
dog skated away from the accident
(keith singing “romeo and juliet” by tchaikovsky)
(keith screaming)
i’m FLAMING