[theme music plays]
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Strangest comic book I've ever read. Oh, hi, I didn't see you there!
Welcome, cadets, to Thew's Awesome Transformers Reviews.
My name's Thew and I'm about to take your brain to another dimension
with the solar system's most sought-after circular superstar: Transformers Legacy Cosmos!
So yes, Cosmos is something of a big-time anomaly among the Autobot ranks -
a uniquely affable UFO fool with an immaculate knack for gettin' immobilized.
Dude's basically a walking plot device -
a FLOATING plot device.
SPIKE: We gotta find Cosmos!
And people online LOVE to make fun of him:
"Ooh, why's he a flying saucer? Nice disguise, idiot!"
I've done it. I've been that guy.
But slow your roll there, clever clogs, 'cos there's actually a couple of reasons.
First of all - have you SEEN the cartoon? It's just silly bollocks for schoolchildren.
There's a UFO in it 'cos it's fun, alright? It's toy box logic! Literally!
'Cos check it out, the original pocket-sized Cosmos here was one of the Micro Change lot,
whose whole conceit was like, "what if the things in your house were secretly robots?"
"What if your toy box came to life?"
That's why the Minibots are such a weird spread of like, squishy little cars and military hardware
and hovercrafts and... alien spaceships! Why not?
It's a play pattern born from how kids actually play. Just mash it all in there!
Toys about toys. I love it!
And that's honestly the same kinda vibe I get from the new Transformers Legacy side hustle,
the Velocitron Speedia 500 Collection
'cos they typically make such a huge point of justifying all the converging fictional universes
and cross-character baggage that these bloody things come with.
Isn't it exhausting? Does it really matter WHY there's a spider near these lorries?
"But what's the reason?" It's 'cos they're toys!
So I definitely respect that they said "sod it" and just threw a bunch of bots together like,
"they're racing!"
Very pouring-out-the-toybox energy, right?
Motorbikes, alien fantasy speedsters, coppers, cranes, it's all kickin' off.
So of course there's a flying saucer in there! Why wouldn't there be?
Stick the flag in his hand and let him be Lakitu or something. It doesn't matter why! It doesn't, and shouldn't matter.
The point is, toys.
On your marks then, racers! This is your Legacy Deluxe-class Cosmos for 2022,
crashin' through the ionosphere like a cylindrical calamity of hapless huggability!
Now, the keyword here is ROUND. It has the poump.
'Cos check it out, Sterling CosMoss's funny little fatberg form here
is completely constructed of curves and swerves and sickening serves!
The shapes on this lad are so lush and inviting, from his darling demi-hemisphere forearms
to his tubby trashcan torso and that absolute plant pot of a head
with concealed cubes and kibbly constructs completing his cushiony corpus
for a convincingly cuddly Cosmos encounter!
So the bodily core of this kiddo is a pure canister of cuteness,
broad and stumpy and lovably lumpy!
It's giving Floor Tom.
Love these kitschy beep-boop body details here,
presented on a sky-blue panel which powerfully pops off
against the broader palette of like military mushy pea green and gentle margarine yellow.
Head's a thoughtful little thimble with remarkably few features.
Like, that mouthplate is absolutely unreadable,
so it's mad how expressive he an get with those piercing baby blues and sharp treacle pudding haircut.
He is FILLED with determination.
Touch of messy but necessary backpack action - or messessary backpacktion - on the go there,
which is honestly pretty clumsy owing to the quantity of curvature in play.
I guess it was either this, or stick him with an absolute dump truck of Pixar mom proportions
and look, those arms have gotta dangle dangerously off something, right?
To be fair, they are locked on there pretty tight, but the adjoining joint just looks distractingly thin.
And the arms themselves are enjoyably inflatey apple slices,
with fold-out fisties and cheeky Hot Rod-esque hand blasters
and Siege ports and sculpted circles for even more roly-poly roundness!
Forearms are honestly kind of awkward -
I mean, they're visibly VERY hollow, like a friggin' interstellar void up in here,
and these elbow bends stop sternly at an unusualy hard 90.
Like, it's mechanically sound and pretty standard really. You know what it is, it just looks weird. That's all it is.
'Cos otherwise, Kevin Cosmos here is a bit of a mover, throwin' out shapes like a quasar
powered by this equatorial waist swivel, and like, the legs are deceptively dynamic!
They may look like a couple of cheese and pineapple cocktail sticks
but they're bringin' hinges and swivels and tilts all the way down
from the skimpy skirt flaps to the silly slopey slippers
with their single massive toenail hoof, down there lookin' like cantaloupe chunks.
God, I gotta stop writin' these hungry.
Anyway, the only actual physical allusion to the Velocitron capsule's raceday pretence
is this weapon, which is nominally a pretty standard Siegey shooter
but it comes with this bewildering optional flag accessory
with a chequered pattern for that final lap victory flap and a bonus blank side for some reason.
On your marks! Get set!
Surrender!
I wonder if they'll ever allow Cosmos to have a non-stupid gun? I kinda hope not.
So yes, Cosmos' robot form is some kinda flying saucepot
comin' off uncomplicatedly alive with a good-time giddiness
that only a deep-space duncebag like him can deliver.
It's a toy that understands that Cosmos is, and must remain, a funny little guy.
Ah! True to form then, the transformation's disarmingly entertaining!
Like, it's not a mystery how it's gonna work. Cosmos is an open book.
All he's gonna do is like, tidy up and settle in, right? But actually doing it is a real treat!
It's the big hip swing, it's the cheeky headplate flip, the way the arms curve in and embrace it so cleanly -
it's like, why don't you go hug yourself?
And this UFO mode, man. Like, how often do I even get to say that?
In a sea of lorries and race cars, how rare and precious an experience is this extraterrestrial kitchen bin?
It's brilliant! Nobody gives it to you like Cosmos.
I don't know how to review this! There's really not a lot of depth to dive into.
It is precisely what it looks like.
It doesn't do anything, there's no wheels or flaps or wings, or weapons really -
what it does is be this!
Simply a silly 60s sci-fi space disc made of a mound upon a mound.
Just a D battery in a bustle skirt with an Autobot badge and a big red yellowhead.
This is absurdity incarnate!
I dunno if it's a little too tall for me?
Does it lean too heavily into the Sunbow stylings over the stumpier Takara look?
Does it matter? No.
I think it's a fantastic space nipple.
Real talk for a second - I'm mortified it's proving such a rare substance
because Cosmos in any form provides some of the densest joy per cubic inch
of any matter in the known universe. Everybody deserves that!
Get 'em on the pegs!
Anyway, side note, I gotta say I love the Velocitron boxes!
Maybe a touch text-heavy for me? I'm getting Poundland.
I'm getting Super Ages 3+ Robot New Series Invincible Fast Action.
But I do enjoy that they've gone with a landscape-oriented vehicle-centric layout
to accentuate the speed and the action and the go-go-go
and then Cosmos just wastes it by turning into a friggin' doorbell.
So, for me, Legacy Cosmos is among the purest of plastic delights!
It's a toy that feels like an attempt to reconcile his signature undersized charm
with a more normalised "one-of-the-gang" stature that only kinda suits him.
I mean, it must've been so tempting to treat this tumbly trouble magnet with the same sort of
roided-up revisionism that gave us the likes of Ultra-Class Powerglide or Bayverse Seaspray.
Cosmos ain't about that life!
Because for all the character reinvention demanded by evolving aesthetics, changing tastes
and innovative design teams, Cosmos has always kinda felt like the answer to his own question.
'Cos while many times it's been asked, "What if Cosmos was badass?"
"What if Cosmos was athletic?" "What if Cosmos was femme?"
Legacy simply asks, "What if Cosmos?"
This compact hypergiant is a lasting luminous point in an increasingly entropic universe
and absolutely the active galactic nucleus of Transformers Legacy!
Quite simply cosmic.
So huge thanks once again to ParagonRefugee for helpin' to hook me up,
cheers to your bad self for observing this astral event -
please do subscribe and maintain orbit for more -
and until next time, goonight, Cosmo.
That's right, I closed it on a Singin' In The Rain reference!
What do you think about that? It's not all blastbeats up here, y'know!
Thank you so much for watching! Thanks to every single patron scrolling up the screen as we speak.
And especially this time, Mechanize01! My second least favourite Fear Factory album.
See you, space cowboy.
Be sure to subscribe for more Thew's Awesome Transformers Reviews.
Limited appeal, keepin' it real.