From why unconscious people seem heavier, to what would happen if we never slept again,
my name is Darlink and I’m here to answer everyone’s burning questions about life.
Hello dere. I’m Danger Dolan and I’m here to blow your minds with TRUTH.
But first I wouldn’t mind a back massage - I’m a little itchy.
What happened to you? They’re old scratch marks
from Paprika - the feline, racoon thing that used to be at Planet Dolan. As you can tell - she was
sharp. I wonder what happened to her… Who cares about that trash cat?
Woah! …it sounds like you know her pretty well.
We met. She’s old news though. Now c’mon, hit me up with some questions.
Hmm. Okay then.
Why do public buses have no seatbelts? When a bus gets into a crash or collision, it will
usually be with a much smaller car. That crash isn’t going to transfer much inertia to the bus,
if anything it will just cause it to jolt a bit. A bus will always be the victor in a collision.
By the same token, buses generally don’t go very fast, half the passengers are usually
standing and if an evacuation is needed such as with a fire, it’s much faster if the other half
don’t need to unbuckle to get out of their seats Yeah, na. Statistically speaking, seatbelts end
more lives than they save. What.
Everyone knows there is a 2 percent chance that if you get twisted up in the seatbelt enough,
it’ll cut off all your bloodflow and you’ll burst and die. Or you’ll fiddle
around trying to clip the belt into the buckle, only for your hand to get lost and
you get sucked down into the seat and die. That has nothing to do with the seatbelt.
That’s just the harmless swamp creature that lives under your seat. Don’t bother it and it
won’t bother you. …so it IS real.
What is a strawman argument? This is when you hear someone
give an argument, then in rebuttal you misrepresent what they said to make it
easier to to “win” the argument. You’ll most commonly hear this when you give a really
compelling argument but they come back with “so what you’re saying is…” and argue against
something unrelated to what you said. Think of it like the opposing side turns
to a scarecrow mid-argument and argues with that instead, leaving you confused
as they believe they’ve “won” the argument against a scarecrow that can’t fight back.
So what you’re saying is you can’t trust scarecrows? That they abduct
people - including everyone from Planet Dolan? That isn’t even close to what I said.
Well then how do you explain where everyone went? Hmm? Where did Paprika go?
Listen, buster. It doesn’t matter where she went - she’s out. I’m in. You got that?
Where did the strawman take her? You know what? I need to relax.
Hmmmm…
Why is rocking in a chair or swinging in a hammock so soothing?
One theory is that our minds and bodies still remember the calming
reflex of this rocking from our time in the womb, or our time as
children being rocked back-and-forth by parents. As we grow older we lose this
reflex but our brains still release the feel-good chemicals as we rock or swing.
Alternatively, some believe it’s because the body produces oxytocin in the lower spine,
so rocking releases this hormone which makes us feel happy and comfortable. Possibly it’s a mix
of all of these that offer such a soothing effect. AXCTUALLY it reminds us of our days growing inside
the banana plantations of Brazil. There was nothing more calming than growing inside the
folds of a banana peel, the gentle rocking of the harvest truck taking us to market.
And the moment a customer peels open our banana skin, giving birth to us right there at the low,
low price of twenty cents. I think my experience on the
hammock is vastly different to yours. Let me guess. You were part of the
Columbian plantations. That explains everything. How I was created is none of your business.
Created? Born. I meant
born. Don’t give me none of your sass, banana boy. That is offensive. I am a banana man now.
What do militaries do when there’s no war? Only around 10 to 20 percent of military
personnel are combat units - in peacetime they mostly just prepare, train, deploy,
clean and study for certifications. The rest have constant jobs like maintenance
to ensure aircraft and ships are functioning. Logistics will handle gear, equipment and food
for anyone deployed. Intel will always keep an ear open no matter whether it’s peace or war.
There’s always jobs regardless, such as humanitarian aid, or patrols on
the ocean. But the most important part is training. They’re trained for every possible
consistency and scenario, so that when one of them actually happens, there’s no time wasted.
A lack of wartime means lots of downtime. A significant number of troops you’ll find online,
starting anonymous flame wars on platforms like Twitter, Reddit and yes even Youtube.
Remember how everyone convinced you that one Final Fantasy game was overrated? Bored
soldiers. You think some Star Wars movies were terrible? Combat troops don’t. They’re
keyboard warriors. These men will argue the opposite, grasping at straws. You could say…
No. Don’t. …that you’re arguing with strawmen.
One of these days you’re going to get hit in the face with one of your bananas.
And there’s nothing you can do about it. Bringing my family into this? That’s low.
Why do unconscious people seem heavier than when they're conscious?
It’s all about the distribution of weight. The more wobbly or unco-ordinated something is, the
harder it becomes to lift and move. If someone is unconscious, they’re limp, which means their arms,
legs and head will flop in random directions making it significantly more difficult to lift
them. But if they’re awake, they will likely help shift their weight to make things easier.
It’s no different than how it’s easier to lift gym weights, than it would be to lift a bag of
comparable weight that’s filled with potatoes. If people are asleep and weigh as much as a bear,
they’re not unconscious, they’re hibernating. The big giveaway is the giant gut filled
with months of food to slowly digest during this hibernation.
HEY! Careful though. There’s
a reason people say you should never wake a hibernating bear. And people are no different.
Anyway, there’s only one solution to this:
What if you just never slept again? Despite the case of one man who never
needed to sleep, for most people you would suffer a steadily increasing series of health
concerns that worsen the longer you go without sleep. At the first 24 hours,
you’ll have increased risk of heart attack and stroke. Your blood pressure and stress
hormones will increase. Your brain cell usage and co-ordination will dampen and diminish.
After a couple of days, your mood will get very irritable, you’ll fail to make long-term memories
and you’ll likely microsleep. If you somehow make it to three days, you’ll hallucinate,
lose short-term memory, and from there you’ll suffer paranoia, you won’t be able to concentrate,
and your risk of death will spike with each hour that passes. To sum up: you would not
survive as the weeks and months roll by. I find you can stock up on sleep like
it’s a resource. If I sleep for several weeks straight, I can stay awake for months on end.
If that actually happened, you would be dead. It’s easy. Yes, I lose all my memory and most
of my motor skills, but there are no other side effects. Sure, I also lost all my hair, my skin
turned porcelain white, my height shrunk by two feet and I was diagnosed clinically deranged, but…
…yesssssss? …did I lose all my nails again?
Hmm. Was I really born as a banana?
Oh well.
Why isn’t the tallest building record constantly broken?
This is because there’s little point in designing buildings that are taller than what is currently
out there. In fact, it becomes more expensive the higher you go, likely in the billions of dollars,
whereas you could easily take that extra height and just design another building on
a larger plot of land. It’s difficult to design buildings to be that tall without pouring a ton
of money into the construction, and no way to recoup that cost. So we tend not to bother.
Have you ever played Jenga? That’s what it’s like making a tall building. Each room causes
more “gaps” in the foundation until eventually you reach a certain height and the whole thing
crumbles. Super glue can only take you so far. Nyahahahaha!
It’s over, Mr D! I have the highest ground! You underestimate the TRUTH.
Oof. You’re just like Paprika, she was always obsessed with
climbing trees for a height advantage. Oh, hey, what’s that? Did she drop something-
Warned ya! She did. Damn.