🎵so now I'm gonna end this thing🎵
🎵end this thing now🎵
🎵and don't you make it harder than it is🎵
🎵~just stop~🎵
hello friends, my name is Nhân with the hat
and welcome back to my channel
today is moving day
I need to move out of this house
that I shared with him
for the last seven or eight months
honestly I don't have a lot of regrets
but the biggest regret that I have
in this relationship is
moving into this house too early
this house is what you call
or what I call
a turning point
he and I knew each other
about six or seven months
before I moved into this house
because in my old modern apartment
the lease was expired
so I had to move here
and honestly
it was a smart financial decision
because both he and I saved so much money
when I moved into here
we have to pay like £300, £400
each of us
and that's like 1/10 of my salary
so I save so much money
I have all this money that I can
be paying for my brother’s tuition fee
I can help my family
so it was great
but then if you think about it
this room is kind of small
and it is a house share
so I have to share with other people as well
and whenever I work from home
and whenever he is back from the office
it's so small and we don't have any privacy
our energies clash
and you know it's a small room
so if the room is not tidy
if the room is not clean
it is like we blame each other for this
and honestly, although we have a lot of good memories
in this room
we also argue a lot, just small stuff like
cleaning up the room
staying up early
alarms
and just each other’s lifestyle
things like that
and it's kind of sad
so if you're dating somebody
and thinking about
moving in with them
don't
give each other at least a year
or more than that
because when you live together
there are so many things that can happen
but of course
you can live with them for many days
and then come back to your house
and things like that
you can live with each other but still
like have the separate place
so it can be a break
between the two of you
so when you are ready
you are financially independent
and your emotions are not affected so much
by the other’s actions anymore
like the relationship is little bit stable
talk about moving in
because I know
moving is also a big step
so wait until both of you are ready
so that's just my 2 cents
my very sad 2 cents
honestly if I can go back in time
and change one thing in our relationship
it’s gonna be telling my past self
no Nhân
not to move in
it's a bad decision
right now I have to move
there are so many things I need to do
I want to clean up the room
pack all of my stuff into a box
I have to
carry all these boxes to my new place
my parents taught me that
if you visit somebody
make their house cleaner
than before you come
you are their guest
but at the same time
you shouldn’t be a burden to them
I’m smart
I'm strong
and I’m beautiful
right now I think I have to love
and validate myself
more than others
because obviously I wasn't chosen
you know?
so yeah
give myself
or give yourself a lot of validation
when you’re going through stuff
it's gonna okay
the pain inside you, it will pass
you will find the right person
the person at the end, will want you
the person who
will spend the rest of their life with you, will want you
so if it's the wrong person
move on
it will be painful
but you’ll get through the pain
and meet the right person
I'm kind of nervous
that I will not meet anyone
but I’ll meet somebody
who am I kidding?
I'm going to meet somebody
you're going to meet somebody
who are we kidding?
you know like
we’re beautiful
we’re handsome
we’re smart
we’re strong
so the room is clean of my stuff
it is quite an emotional process
but I think
I’ll... be good...
cleaning up my stuff
it feels like a chapter of my book closed
and now the new chapter is opening
but I think it will be a better chapter
it’ll be a good chapter
also he has a teddy bear
a dinosaur
he calls him Dino
so I also got him a goodbye gift
this, another dinosaur
I hope he will like it
I’ll put it here
anyway I'm going to go now
I just want to say
thank you very much for this room for 7, 8 months
it has been a room of comfort
and a lot of good memories happened here
but I think
it's done
it should be closed
it's gonna be okay
too much...
I moved everything into the new place already
but I'm just going to be here for a few days
before I move into my official house
because in this place I only sublet
with my coworker for a month
and in the next place
I will stay there for a little bit longer
it is quite difficult right now
but good thing is
the sky is really clear
so right now I'll plan to take a walk
and then go home
and cry a really good cry
believe it or not
it is really hard for me to cry
I actually cry like
only several times
ever since I was a kid
I don't cry a lot in front of other people
it's hard for me to cry
but in the last few months
I cry a lot more
so I think it's really good
it's like a stress relief
because I can actually show my emotions
and this affects me a lot
I don't know why, but I feel like
the moving hurts more than the breakup
the moving itself feels more like a breakup to me
than the breakup
if that makes sense
yeah
right now I hurt a lot
but I don't know what to feel anymore
cause I've been hurting for a long time
so I think
this will be a good beginning
or like an ending
but it’s gonna be a very good beginning of a new chapter
I will take you guys along with me
when I move into my official house
and we're going to do more talking and
playing stuff
it's going to be good
I feel like the good thing is coming
right now not very much
right now I feel like at the bottom of everything
at the bottom of a mountain
I feel like several things crush on me right now
but I just know that
after I get through this
feeling of sadness
only good things are coming
because I don't think
I can hurt more than
when I was in a relationship
it's weird when I say that out loud right?
because I feel like
I cannot bear it anymore
I'm the person who try really hard
believe me when I say I'm very persistent
that's why I can do tax accountant and YouTuber
and all other jobs at the same time
I’m very persistent
I always try hard
I don't give up easily
and this is my first relationship
that's why the breakup feels so hurt
because it feels like I'm giving up for the first time
I hate giving up
but at the same time
I also think like this is not giving up
this is knowing when to get out
if that makes sense
because I literally cannot take that anymore
and I need to get out
it's going to be okay
this is Nhân in the future
I am editing the video right now
but I just want to pause and say a few things
first of all, the reason why I post this moving out vlog
a month after it happened
is because I'm more emotionally stable now
and I think you guys also accept the fact
that we're not together anymore
and also the reason why I record
all these personal vlogs
like breakup and healing vlogs
is because I want to help you guys
when I went through the breakup
I learned about so many emotions
I have not learned before
and it was all overwhelming
so maybe you guys have me as somebody
who talks about all these emotions
so if you went through it, you can relate to
but hopefully you're not going through it
because it's kind of difficult
ater all, it is my vlog right?
I'm talking about my feeling, my life
and it's a coping mechanism for me too
by talking about this, it kind of distracts me
it keeps me stay busy
and move on
and second of all, I want you guys
spread love, not hate
I think I have a big enough platform
to destroy somebody's life
so I have to choose my words and my actions very carefully
if you notice, I've never even mentioned once
the negative things, anything that he did to me
even in the break-up vlog
I told you guys about the things that he gave me
the advice that he gave me
to be a *better future partner
because at the end of the day
I am the social media person, and he's not
no matter what he did
I don't want any negative energy
to pour into him
so any hate messages, any hateful things
just stop
if you have any energy, pour into me
like positive things
pour into me
because I'm healing
I'm healing very, very well
so please remember that
pour your love and energy onto me
honestly, only my ex and I
know what really happened
and I don't want to talk too much about it
but it wasn't good
it wasn't good
but I'm mature enough
to focus on my healing journey
so look out for me
look out a better version of Nhân
and focus on me
alright? I'm doing really good now
do you guys know 5 stages of grief?
I think I'm at the last stage already
acceptance
but I don't know
healing is not linear, but I'm focusing on myself
very, very much
now go back to the video
it’s moving day, part 2
you guys are on a box
hello friends
I moved into the new apartment already
I have been staying here for the last few days
although I'm still getting used to it
I think I’m kind of settled
I'm quite happy about it at the moment
I will show you the whole apartment later
but for now
let's get ready with me
I think I'm going to wear this t-shirt
my sister gave it to me
and then this cute jeans
my little sister also gave them to me
and I think these look good already
the last few days, London has been so sunny
it is not even cold
you can go outside without a jacket on
with only a T-shirt on
and I'm so happy about it
it definitely helps a lot with my mental health
because I'm moving to this new place
and open a new chapter in my life
I have quite a lot of emotions at the moment
it is quite overwhelming
and I tend to intellectualize my emotions
so I would say there are three emotions
that describe my feeling at the moment
the first emotion is uncertainty
as you guys know, something significant
just happened in my life quite recently
and I am just moving into this new place
so there are so many things
so many changes happen in a short amount of time
and I feel quite overwhelmed at the moment
but I think it's gonna be all right
and the second emotion is anger
yeah I know
you must be thinking
Nhân, do you even get angry?
yes I do get angry
look at this
I just thrifted this watch for £100
it is quite cute right?
and the last emotion that I feel is hopeful
I feel so hopeful at the moment
I think things ended for a good reason
a very, very good reason
and things are looking up
I believe that
I will focus so much on myself right now
I will focus on my self-care and self-acceptance
the last 2 emotions
they will go away
what left will be so much positivity around me
and...
I know it sounds kinda cliché, cringy
but this is what I need
talking about self-care and skin care
I just want to give a special shout out
to the sponsor of this video
YESSTYLE
as you guys know, YESSTYLE has worked with me
for so many times already
they are an e-commerce platform
that sells not only clothes
but self-care and skin care products
they’re kind enough
to send me so many products
to take care of myself
to pamper myself
in this difficult time
skincare and self-care is a genderless concept
it is not only for women
but also for men
the moment you put work into yourself
you start taking care of yourself
you will see so much difference
in your self-confidence
and start attracting good energy from other people
there are quite a few products that I started using recently
and let me show them to you
Nhân is officially a beauty vlogger now
I'm just joking
right now I'm going to show you a few products
that I got from YESSTYLE
and I really love them
first of all
I got this Beauty of Joseon cleansing balm
it is quite different
I’ve never used anything like this before
all you need to do is open it
take a little bit of product and put it on your hands
it feels a little bit waxy
but the moment you put it on your hands
and on your face
it's going to melt
and clean everything
I washed it all out with warm water
and this is my face afterwards
it still feels very moist
and also it goes a little bit
like this
it's like a skin care commercial
besides that, I also got sunscreen from Beauty of Joseon
but before putting on sunscreen
I like to use vitamin C on my face
this is vitamin C serum from Dear, Klairs
and finally, let's put on this sunscreen
this is my skincare routine
when I'm not lazy
I don't do this every single day
usually in the morning
when I go out for a run
I use sunscreen
but that’s it
I don't use vitamin C every single day
and I forgot one last thing
lip mask
look at my lip
so pretty
thank you very much
for making me feel like a beauty vlogger
if you want to try out any of these products
please don't forget to click the links in the description
I listed them all out
and also, enter code
nhan15
for 15% off of ALL ORDERS
this is only available for 48 hours
thank you YESSTYLE for sponsoring this video
now let me show you my new apartment
apartment tour started
very, very short
because this is a studio so everything is connected
the moment you walk into the apartment
you will see a big open space
from here you can see my work desk
my bed
and my kitchen
all in one place
and then you walk inside here
this is the bathroom
the shower, the sink and the toilet
I'm not sure why they have a very big bathroom
I told you it is a very short apartment tour
but I think that I like the most
about this apartment is that
it has 4 big windows right here
so I get a lot of natural lighting
and the view is amazing
especially when the sun goes down
it is a beautiful day today
so right now I'm going to go outside
give myself some love
and get myself some flowers
to decorate the room
and because
I can buy myself flowers
that song has been replayed so many times
on my Spotify recently
now let’s go
it is a little bit cold
so I put on a sweater that I got from my grandfather
it was sunny 5 minutes ago
but now look at this
it is so cloudy and gray
it's going to rain soon
I can feel the little mini raindrops
what flowers should I get for myself?
there are so many of them
I think I'm gonna get these yellow tulips
I just got the pink tulips and the yellow tulips
they’re so pretty
and now I need to find a vase for them
I'm back home now
and I also finish arranging the tulips
let me show them to you
first of all
these are the pink tulips
I arranged them in a vase
that I got from a thrift shop for £4
look at this
they're so pretty
do you also know that
pink tulips symbolize for
happiness and confidence
those are the two things that I need right now
so I'm glad I got them
and right now I'm going to put them here
on my coffee table
Imagine reading books in the morning
drinking tea
and look at them
they're so pretty
right now I'm re-reading
On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous from Ocean Vuong
I read it once already
but now I wanna read it again
because I need a good cry
and these are the yellow tulips
I put them in a cup that I got from the charity shop
for £1
this is so cute
do you also know that
yellow tulips symbolize cheerful thoughts?
like happy thoughts
that's why I put them on the top of my bed
so I can only have cheerful thoughts in the morning
there're still so many things I can do
to make this apartment feel more like home
feel more cozy
it will take some time
but I will get there one day
but for now
I'm glad I got these flower to make this place
feel more alive
the last part of this video that I want to do
is actually quite emotional and personal
but it involves self-help and healing
so I wanna do it with you guys
as you guys know
this breakup has been so hard for me
but I've learned so much from it
because this relationship is my first relationship
and there are so many emotions
there're so many things that I've learned about myself
that I have not discovered before
for example, what I want and don't want from my partner
and also I learned that
I want my future partner
to be an addition
not an improvement in my life
for example
they can come into my life and make my life good
can affect a little bit of my life
but I want to build relationships with myself so great
to a point that
their action does not affect my emotions so much
if that makes sense
I want to be more independent emotionally
that's why over the last few months
I've done so many self-help and healing work
for example, I journal
I journal a lot
I read books
and also I push my boundaries
physically and mentally
but this is a work in progress
there's no limit in making yourself feel better
so actually, I bought this book in the morning
it is called Things Will Look Better in the Morning
I went to the bookstore, and I saw this book on discount
it got like 60% discount
so I'm like
self-help book
and also discounted
so why not getting it?
this book has so many healing and positive thinking exercises
I think I will start doing it every single day
but now the thing that I want to do with you guys
is actually writing down the things I expect
from my future partner
I realize I've never done this before
I’ve never thought about
what I want in my future partner as a person
I always look at their outside
their physical features
I've only used my eyes
to focus on what I'm attracted to
but never beyond that
so right now
I’m gonna write things down what I expect
from a partner
okay so I finished the list
this list is quite general
there are about ten things
that I want from my future partner
I will continue to expand on it
and also go into great details
of each trait
if you understand what I mean
so he are 10 things
or 11 things
that I could come up right now for my future partner
of course, they have to continue to work on these
you know, nobody's perfect
it is not easy to talk about these things
I feel exposed
honestly, I feel very exposed
but I think it's good to have standards
first of all, communication
I want this person to communicate their feelings to me
as well as listen
when I communicate my feelings to them
communication is really important to me
that's why I put it first
second of all
reliance
I want this person to be trustworthy and loyal
without trust and loyalty
relationship will not work
third, affirmations
this person has to know when to give affirmations
because it is important to recognize
that their partner is trying
that there's progress, there's change
fourth, self improving and learning
this person has to work on themselves
nobody is perfect
as long as you can continue to work yourself
things will be all right
fifth, empathy and kindness
you have to be kind with other people
treat other people with respect
sixth, financially intelligent
this is self-explanatory
seventh
emotionally available
I think this person has to be emotionally available
because a person can affect you emotionally
so you have to
have an open mind and an open heart
have honest conversations
and things like that
eighth, take care of their bodies and their mind
that's self-explanatory
ninth, forward-thinking
think about the future
and finally
confidence
the reason why I write all these things down
is not because I want to find a partner
at this moment that has all these qualities
I believe that everybody is a work in progress
but I wrote all these things down
to make myself, to make me
have a strong relationship with myself
so now and in the future
I will thrive
to achieve these qualities
so I can find somebody who matches my energies
does that make sense?
I want me to work on myself first
before I find somebody else
so in the next few months
I'm not gonna find anybody
I'm gonna work on myself
so that I will be better off
relationship with myself
is the most important right now
I need to do a lot of healing
a lot of therapy
I will find a therapist too
very soon
because I need that
it's going to be okay
and that is the end this video
I really hope you enjoyed it
it is quite a heavy topic
with moving out
breaking up
and being by myself for the first time in a year
I know there's a lot of work for me to work on as well
so I will continue to do that
but thank you very much for sticking around
and thank you YESSTYLE for sponsoring this video
at last I just want to say
I will continue my best
to be better
for me and for all of you
all right I will continue
this positive energy to all of you
thank you and
you have a good day
bye bye
these flowers are so pretty right?