hey what's going on youtube this is your certified life and relationship coach coach court
and in today's video i want to talk to you about getting dumped by a dismissive avoidant
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video i want to talk to you about getting dumped by dismissive avoidant what does it feel like what
is the experience what are people around you going to be saying uh and let me tell you something it's
going to throw you off your center it's going to throw you for a loop and it's probably going
to turn you into an anxious preoccupied person when a dismissive avoidant breaks up with you
they are legit done in their mind in the beginning they're going to feel relief they're going to
feel as if they did something that they didn't really want to do they were dreading for a while
but because you were a nice person you were somebody who they thought in the beginning that
they could see a future with when they started to see that wasn't a thing it wasn't something
that was going to be able to work out that's when they started to deactivate and check out
that is enough to drive a sane person uh insane because in the beginning the dismissive
avoidant really do pursue they make promises to you they were loved bombing you they were
treating you as if you were somebody that they were going to be with for the rest of their lives
so the amount of betrayal that you feel when they start to deactivate
due to you getting too close to them is it's pretty uh painful when people reach out to me most
of the time they have felt like they were secure their whole relationship but it wasn't until the
love avoidant starts to pull away from them that caused them to become the anxious due to the
dismissive breaking up with them out of nowhere they could have just had some really good times
together could have just spent weekend vacations together then all of a sudden they kind of pull
the rug from up under you breaking your heart and leaving you wondering like wow i get no closure
you acting really cold you're acting really distant you won't respond to my text messages
what in the world happened but let me tell you something though you were important to them you
did make a difference in their life this is not about you it is about them my favorite quote is
how people treat you is their karma how you respond is yours when you start to get bent out
of shape due to them leaving you and starting to do things like stalking them um calling
them too many times checking their social media accounts driving past their house or their work
or their even their mom's house that is just going to give you bad karma so i try to advise people to
take some of the positives away from the relationship what were the things that were really
good and really just show gratitude for that just be appreciative for the experience you don't have
to have this person for the rest of your life just be happy for the amount of time that you did have
them just be happy for the experience and some of the things that you've learned by being with them
that may sound like mumbo jumbo like you know easier said than done but it's absolutely true
i get that it is easier said than done but it's going to take practice and it's going to take
strength you're going to have to hear this message over and over and over again before
you finally start to get it before you're finally able to let this person go for good and usually
that takes time or somebody else coming into your life and allowing you to detach
from that person because we don't attach very often love addicts let's not forget
about how our style was formed and why it was formed how we are the way we are
in the recovery world it's well known that you have to go through a bunch of growing pains before
you finally get to being able to get over this addiction that you're in is going to take at least
nine relapses before you finally get it and you finally start to see that moment of clarity that
is no different with love addiction we're going to have to hear something over and over and over
again maybe 10 to 15 times before it finally sets in us that hey this person is done they
finally moved on so when a dismissive breaks up with you and you're in this active love addiction
it's important to listen to the people around you your friends and your family because they're
going to be giving you a very good indication about just how this relationship looks to them
it's hard for you to see that when you're in it so when you break up with somebody
or they break up with you listen to the feedback from the people around you because they're going
to be pointing you in the right direction so if you found this video of any value please like
comment and share follow me on my other social media accounts twitter is coachcourt2 instagram
is iamcoachcourt and facebook is iamcoachcourt thank you guys and i will talk to you soon