- That one looks good.
- Yeah, baby.
- Make sure you get that one.
- These fresh berries!
(birds chirping)
This is the life, boys.
- And you know, sometimes the good food
is right in the bushes.
You just gotta dig deep.
- When I get back to camp, I'm gonna
make a sweet little berry pie.
- Ooh. Nice.
- Sounds good, dude.
I think I'm just gonna eat a bunch of these mushrooms raw.
(laugh)
- Wild guy.
- For me, man, I can't wait to find an eagle
and then grill up its majestic body.
- That's actually illegal, though.
I would never kill an eagle.
- No, me neither.
I would kill my grandmother before I killed an eagle.
- I would kill my brother.
- I would kill you before I kill an eagle.
- I'd kill you before I killed an eagle.
- Oh, man, that's what's up,
we eagle people.
Hey, Tommy, your arm!
It's bleeding, bro.
- Oh.
Aw, I must have just nicked it.
I'm fine.
- No, that's like a pint of blood.
- It's blood down to your wrist, man.
- It's fine, we're gonna patch it up.
I got a little first aid kit in your backpack.
- Why didn't you carry it?
- Because, I'm lazy.
He's strong.
- Yeah, he is strong. A lot of muscle.
- All right, we got burn cream, burn cream.
Guys, all we brought was four bottles of burn cream.
- Exactly.
The little statue fire bear said
that the threat level's at orange.
- Mmm.
- We ain't takin' no risks.
- Yeah, you don't mess with the bear.
- You gotta listen to the bear.
- Well, anyways, we could patch it up.
Don't worry, we'll just use nature's remedies.
- Oooh.
- Put that on there.
- That's nice, the trees have provided
Band-Aids for me.
- Yeah, atta boy.
- Uh huh.
- That's how you do it.
- Get 'em deep in there, Max.
Don't be shy.
- Drill it into the wound.
Get it real in there.
- Get in that gash.
- Yeah.
- Is that better?
- That feels great.
It's itching a little bit.
- That means it's working.
- That's a great sign.
I can feel their power.
Now I have their power.
- Any other wounds, boo-boos, scrapes?
- I thought I touched some poison oak earlier,
so I went in the lake, and just washed it all off.
- Let me see.
(yelling)
- Oh, gosh.
Are those leeches?
- You gotta do something about that, bro.
- Ew, they're thriving on your chest.
- They're wiggling.
- It looks nasty. - Ugh.
- They look like black udders.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my gosh.
- They're like little logs of licorice
going to town on your pecs.
- You look like you have leprosy
from the Bible.
- You look like a whole bunch of Rolos
wasted on your shirt.
- Melted.
- It looks like bloody boogers,
and I'm sorry to say that, but it really does.
- It looks like those little hard turds
that come out very individually.
- Oh, my God, Dean, what's wrong with you?
- Come on.
- I mean, it happens.
- It looks like you melted a bunch of crayons,
and decorated your torso like a Christmas tree
full of art supplies.
- Well, it looks like my Papa burnt out cigars
on his chest.
- Looks like a bunch of Scud missiles
declaring war on fit bodies.
- They look like his soul is trying
to leak out of his body.
- It looks like your nipples are crying black tears.
- It looks like giant roly pollies.
- God, they really look
like they're working in unison,
enjoying the muscle buffet.
- Looks like a worm and a snake had an offspring
and you got bit by it.
Looks like you have Rottweiler nipples.
- Why're you looking at--
- Yeah, how do you know what Rottweiler's nipples look like?
- I mean, Rottweilers are a sexy dog.
- Oh, my God, Dean.
- You know what, let's move on from that.
- We're taking you to church
when this is over.
- They kinda hurt, guys.
- Quick, use the burn cream to burn them off.
- Is that what burn cream is for?
I thought burn cream was for a burn.
- Who's to say?
Come on, cream crew.
- Yeah, we don't know the anatomy of leeches.
Maybe this is like hydrochloric acid to them.
- Should I just squirt it at it?
- Nah, you just gotta be brave.
Bap! Bap! - Uh! Ah!
- Bap! - Uh!
- I think they're responding.
- You did it, you did it!
- Yeah, there we go. Ah, there we go.
- Pick one and make it your enemy!
- Get off, you Satan bugs!
- Is it working?
- I think so.
None of them are off, but they don't look
like they're having fun.
- Ah!
- Is it-- is it working?
- I don't know.
Let's put these leaves on it.
- Whoa, no way, man, that's the poison oak!
- Yeah, how do you know?
- It's got the three prongs, remember?
- Oh, shit.
- That's what I put in your cut.
- What?
- Yeah.
- Ah! It's in my cut!
- Yeah.
- It's in my cut!
- Oh, gosh, it's on my hands!
- It's in my blood! - Aw, no!
- Ah! It's inside me!
- Guys, guys, guys! What about the leeches?
- Screw the leeches! We're gonna die!
(screams)
- Put a leech on me!
(men retching)
- I need my blood out of my body now!
(screaming)
- It's in my cut!
- Yeah it is!
- It's in my blood!
(screaming hysterically)
- Should we help them?
- No, if they can't survive this,
we have to honor natural selection.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
(mellow acoustic guitar)