(balls bouncing)
(group laughing)
- Oh shit!
Trapp's computer.
- Oh, it's fine.
- Whoa, check it out.
It's the sketch Trapp's been working on since we got here.
All work and no play makes Trapp a dull boy.
(eerie music)
- So.
(group shouts)
What do you think?
- If I'm being honest, it's a little long.
Most sketches are like,
three pages, five max and this is like 600.
- So, do you think I should trim it a litte?
- I would trim some.
Personally.
- Okay, err.
Any suggestions where?
- Yeah, I mean,
there's this whole part in the middle that kind of drags.
Oh, page 237 where you say,
all work and no play makes Trapp a dull boy.
- Uh huh, yeah, yeah.
- I think it's too long.
- Ooh, okay, um.
Alright so just cut that whole part?
- Just cut it.
- I think so.
Kill your darlings you know?
- I really like that part.
I think that makes the sketch.
- Yeah, I don't know.
No one else is feeling it.
- Okay.
Okay, cool.
- I actually have a positive comment.
- Oh.
- I loved when you wrote dullol boy.
- That's funny. - Oh yeah.
- Oh that must be a typo.
I meant to say dull boy.
For sure.
- Oh you should keep dullol boy.
Definitely.
- My biggest problem is that it just doesn't feel like
it really heightens at all.
(group agreeing)
- Okay.
What do you mean?
- It's a little bit repetitive.
You know, it's kind of redundant.
- You're saying the same thing over and over
it's like a little repetitive.
- Like you say one thing and then you say it again.
- It's restating.
- Personally I found it redundant.
- Yeah, okay that makes sense.
- What was the inspiration for guy?
- I was just thinking like I feel like lately I've been
like all work.
Just working all the time and there's been like no time
for play and I don't know if you guys feel this way but
I think that that makes me a dull boy.
- See, now that I get.
- Try to get back to that, you know?
That's a really relatable idea.
- Yeah, like I was confused here on page 400.
You have a line that says,
all work and no play makes Trapp a dull boy?
- Where is this?
- It's like halfway down in the page.
- Okay, yeah I think I remember what you're talking about.
Yeah.
- Don't you also use that same exact line on page 10?
- That's supposed to be a call back joke.
- Oh.
- I got that.
- I didn't get that.
- Okay, yeah, I didn't get that at all.
The way that you have it in here kinda reads like a mistake.
So maybe repeat it again
and then it will feel like it was on purpose.
- I think we have a, never mind, sorry.
- [Girl] You don't agree?
- I think we have a savvier audience than people are--
- I disagree, I think we need to spell it out for them.
- So, like another all work and no play line you think?
- Maybe.
- Ooh, joke pitch.
What if you said,
all work and no play makes Crapp a dull boy?
- Oh yeah.
(laughing)
That's very interesting.
I'll play with that.
- Okay, whatever, it's dumb.
You don't have to use it.
- Well, no, I'm glad you gave it.
(stammering)
I may not use it but I think it's a good idea.
(exhaling)
- What's up?
- I hate to say this but doesn't this remind people of a
Key and Peel sketch?
(group agreeing)
- No wait, what sketch?
What sketch are we talking about?
- It's this one where it's Jordan and he's like a
businessman and he's like all work and he has no play.
- Yeah.
- It makes him a dull boy.
- It's called Dull Boy.
- I don't think I saw that one.
- I'll send it to you and you can compare.
- It's really funny.
You should watch it anyway.
- Do you think they're too similar?
- I think you have a different take.
But they're kind coming from the same thing so you should
just watch it.
- Okay, shit.
Well, thanks for the notes guys.
These were all super helpful.
Who wants to go next?
- Next doing what?
- Uh a sketch.
Share a sketch that you've written.
- We haven't written anything.
- Oh, yeah, I don't have anything.
- We've been busy.
- Nobody wrote anything?
- Nah.
- Uh uh.
- No.
- Sketches?
- Oops.
- I'll kill you all.
(group yelling)
(eerie music)
- [Sam] Never fear.
Sam is here to save the day.
You know what?
I just realized, I should probably back in.
I'm just going to back up here.
Then I will save everybody from the murders
so long as I can redistribute my...
And then if I pull.
This is great.
Almost ready to save from a murder.
Oh, shit.
- Hi, it's Mike Trapp from College Humor.
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