- (whispers) DAVE, LOOK AT ALLEN.
- (whispers) OH MY GOD,
- DOESN'T HE LOOK AMAZING RIGHT NOW?
- HE LOOKS INCREDIBLE.
- WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW HIM LOOK LIKE THAT?
- I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN NEVER. HE USUALLY LOOKS REALLY BAD.
- BUT IT'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE WAY THE LIGHT. THE LIGHT IS HITTING HIM. HE LOOKS AMAZING.
- I KNOW. HE'S GLOWING.
- I FEEL LIKE HIS SKIN HAS CLEARED UP.
- YEAH, AND HIS HAIR.
(inaudible)
- VERY, VERY PRETTY MAN.
- I MEAN, PROBABLY THE PRETTIEST MAN RIGHT NOW, DEFINITELY.
- IN THIS MOMENT, THERE'S NO PRETTIER MAN.
- MAN I WISH - I JUST WISH I COULD TELL HIM.
- I MEAN EVER SINCE SHERRY DIED, DIVORCED HIM,
HE JUST HASN'T BEEN THE SAME.
- I CAN'T GET OVER HOW GOOD HE LOOKS RIGHT NOW.
- I KNOW.
- I MEAN HE'S FINALLY, YOU KNOW, HE'S FINALLY BACK TO BEING ALLEN AGAIN.
- OH.
(3 gun shots are fired)
- OH MY GOD. WHO DO YOU THINK SHOT HIM?
- I DON'T KNOW.
(buzzer sound)
(crowd cheers)
- WE'VE BEEN SAYING WE'RE GOING TO DO THIS FOR YEARS,
AND NOW WE'RE FINALLY DOING IT.
- HELL YEAH MAN, GOOD BYE LOS ANGELES, AND HELLO PARADISE.
- YEAH.
- MAN I WISH I COULD SEE THE LOOK ON MR. BRECKERS FACE
WHEN NONE OF US SHOW UP TO WORK ON MONDAY.
- FROM NOW ON, WE'RE NOT TAKING SHIT FROM NOBODY.
- HELL YEAH DUDE. I BOUGHT BEER, AND I BOUGHT THIS FOR
WHOEVER PASSES OUT FIRST.
- IT'S GOING TO BE YOU BRO.
- DUDE, DON'T DO THAT.
- (MALE): HEY!
- SETH.
- YOU BUTT FACES DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE GOING WITHOUT THE PARTY-MEISTER DID YA?
- DUDE, I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T COMING.
- I CHANGED MY MIND.
- WELL BOYS, HERE'S TO THE ULTIMATE TRIP.
- GOOD THING WE'RE NOT DRINKING AND DRIVING.
- I WAS TOLD THERE'S GOING TO BE CHICKS.
- AH DUDE, YOU BROUGHT BUDDY?
- YEAH, I WASN'T GOING TO LEAVE THE LITTLE GUY BEHIND.
- ALRIGHT BOYS, LET'S DO IT.
- WHOO. - YEAH, ALRIGHT.
- LET'S DO THIS. - YEAH.
(car cranks up)
(buzzer sound)
(audience cheers)
(marching band styled music plays)
- GUYS, TURN ON THE TV.
- AND SO ... .
- THAT'S WHERE WE WERE ON 911.
(crowd boos)
- HMM, EH, WHATEVER.
(clock ticks)
- OH, HEY MAN.
- MY PACKAGE DIDN'T DCOME.
- OH, I'M SORRY. UH, YOU NEED THE SHOWER?
- NO, I'M NOT GOING TO SHOWER UNTIL MY PACKAGE COMES.
- OH, OK.
- THE TRACKING NUMBER IS H-X-Z-7-7-7-1-8-3-4-F
B AS IN BABY
D AS IN DALLAS FORTH WORTH.
- HEY PAT, YOU UM ... .
- ARE YOU GOING TO COME?
- NOT UNTIL MY PACKAGE COMES.
WHERE ARE YOU?
- YEAH MAN, MY MATTRESS IS LAME.
- THE PACKAGE CAME?
- NO, NO, I SAID MY MATTRESS IS LAME.
SORRY MAN.
NO, NOT YOU. MY ROOMMATE ...
MY ROOMMATE IS WAITING FOR A PACKAGE.
- DID YOU SAY PACKAGE?
- I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
- HE WON'T COME.
- NOT UNTIL MY PACKAGE DOES.
- LISTEN, YOU NEED TO CHANGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS AND BE FINE WITH HIM NOT COMING.
IT PROBABLY DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
- OH, THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER.
- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
- YEAH, YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT.
- THANKS FOR TALKING TO ME ABOUT ALL THIS COME STUFF.
- ANYTIME.
- OH SHIT, HERE HE COMES.
- IT DIDN'T COME.
- TELL ME ABOUT IT.
- IT CAME.
(gun shot)
- AH, IT CAME.
(buzzer sound)
(crowd cheers)
- WERE YOU FOLLOWED?
- I DON'T THINK SO.
- YOU DON'T THINK SO OR YOU KNOW?
- I WASN'T FOLLOWED.
- GOT THE STUFF?
- AH, THE STUFF!
AH, DAMMIT.
I FORGOT THE STUFF.
AH MAN ... .
- HE FORGOT THE STUFF.
DO IT.
(sound of a lady screaming and then a ton of gun fire)
- I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT ... THAT'S WAS THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS.
NEXT TIME ... THERE'S NO NEXT TIME. THAT WAS LIKE THE WHOLE
THING, IT'S LIKE ONE TIME.
THAT'S WHY I WEAR THE COAT TO CARRY THE STUFF. I FORGOT THE STUFF.
I AM A BIG DUMB IDIOT, AND NOW SHE'S DEAD.
UH, OH BOY.
WELL THAT'S HOW THINGS GO.
THAT'S JUST HOW IT GOES.
AH MAN, THAT DOES SUCK THOUGH.
(crowd boos)
- (MALE): THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT.
- HEY DUDE.
QUIT TAPING ME.
- QUIT TAPING BRO, C'MON, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
- (MALE): THIS IS AWESOME.
- OH C'MON, QUIT TAPING ME MAN.
- (the guy taping chuckles)
- MY LITTLE BABY.
- AH, QUIT TAPING ME DUDE.
- QUIT TAPING ME BRO, C'MON.
- THAT'S RAD.
- SHE'S MY MOM. FUCK YOU MAN. STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM
ME YOU FUCKING PIECE OF ...
C'MON QUIT TAPING ME MAN,
SERIOUSLY.
C'MON MAN.
SHUT UP!
- C'MON MAN, QUIT TAPING ME BRO.
GET OUT OF HERE.
- AH DUDE, QUIT TAPING ME.
- C'MON MAN, QUIT TAPING ME.
- C'MON MAN, YOU CAN'T BE TAPING ME.
SHIT. GET OUTTA HERE.
(gun shot)
- THIS IS AWESOME.
(buzzer sound)
(crowd cheers)
(music plays)
(sound of sniper gun shot)
(music starts back up)
(sound of sniper gun shot)
(music starts back up)
(sound of sniper gun shot)
(another sniper gun shot is heard)
(and another sniper gun shot is heard)
(buzzer sound)
(crowd cheers)
- (ANNOUNCER): LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, YOUR WINNER.
ALLEN STRICKLAND WILLIAMS.
(sound of sniper gun shot)
(crowd boos)
(buzzer sound)
(crowd cheers)