All right, don't forget to lock the door.
Copy that.
And don't change in front of windows.
Okay.
Don't forget about me.
Deal.
See you in 12 hours.
Yeah, if you uh get lonely just
call nine-one-one.
Wow don't cut yourself on that wit.
Mm-hmm. Seriously. Yeah, just make sure you lock the doors. Don't want anything bad getting in.
What could be worse than me?
See ya.
That's cute.
He thinks you're joking.
Course he does. While he's here, it's dumb. It's just after he leaves everything changes.
But you're smart, you've been here before.
You know how to be careful.
You know how important it is to keep things organized.
You learned the hard way.
Call something harmless...
and watch it destroy you.
But it's not so bad just follow the steps
Step 1: turn on all the lights
Also the TV.
Ignore that.
Step 2. Make a fun plan. Say it out loud to yourself. Pretend to be excited.
I'm going to eat cereal, paint my nails, and organize the goddamn studio.
What's in there?
A dream?
A vision of the future?
A door to hell?
Don't ask these questions.
Don't slip into old habits.
No drinking, no smoking, no downers.
Just stick to the plan.
More or less.
When you're left alone as a kid you do this weird thing.
You dress up like a stranger, put on a wig.
It made you feel like someone else.
No, that's not it. Made you feel like like someone is watching.
And who knows, maybe they are?
Maybe someone comes in.
Just to watch.
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
Have to be a pretty small person to fit through there though.
No, no, that's crazy, stay focused. Don't forget to paint your nails.
They used to think hysteria was caused by the uterus sneaking around inside the body.
They called it "wandering womb syndrome."
Said it was an animal within an animal.
Freud said the unconscious is like that too. A free-floating mind within a mind.
But of course that's ridiculous.
The word womb means hollow.
So when you think about it, it's not an animal that's getting lost inside you.
It's a void.
Stupid doctors.
You might think calling people is a good idea.
This is false, they won't understand and they will resent you for making them feel weird.
When you get down to it, the only real rule is survival.
Anyway, if he doesn't want you to smoke he shouldn't be gone all the time.
What are you even doing?
What are you supposed to be doing? Like what are normal people doing right now?
Are they at the club?
He used to go to the club. He used to fucking shred and now he'd take glamor shots of babies like an asshole.
Why don't you have a real job?
He has a real job. He's probably out there saving lives and making people laugh.
Someone is touching his arm, a nurse and she's also a rock climber.
He's never coming back.
He finally realized you're just a shell. The band, the vows, the good jokes, and stellar blowjobs
all just smoke and mirrors.
You'll end up homeless and dead.
Or maybe he does come back
and you go on keeping this secret forever.
It doesn't matter.
The truth is you've always been alone.
You always will be.
Oh fuck.
Step 3: when all else fails
Call something harmless...
watch it destroy you.
What could be worse than me?
Hey, babe
How's your night?
Good.
Man, I missed you.
Being apart from you makes me feel crazy.
Weirdo.
See that wasn't so bad was it?