If you have a loved one or family member who has schizophrenia or another mental illness,
it can sometimes be extremely difficult to communicate with them.
This is because mental illness may affect their ability to think clearly or concentrate.
So effective communication becomes an important skill
that can help families and friends cope with mental illness.
Because sometimes it is not what you say that is important, but how you say it.
A person with mental illness may be experiencing symptoms that make it hard to communicate.
When a person is having difficulty concentrating or remembering things,
keep things simple, direct, and brief.
You may need to cover one topic at a time and repeat things.
Your family member may get overstimulated when there are too many people around
or when there is extra noise.
When this happens, avoid using a loud voice
and help them find a quiet and calm space to get away.
Your family member might seem spaced out sometimes,
like they are not present when you are trying to talk to them.
You can help them be in the here and now by getting their attention before talking to them.
It’s common for emotions to change quickly,
fluctuating from one extreme to another.
Your loved one might say or do something they don’t mean.
Try not to take words or actions personally.
If the person shows belief in delusions,
don’t agree but also don’t argue about their beliefs.
These symptoms can cause the person to feel afraid or insecure.
Remind the person that you care and accept them.
Always listen carefully to what the person is saying
and acknowledge their point of view and feelings.
Finally, another common symptom is that the person with mental illness
may not understand or realize that they are ill.
Which can make it even more difficult, confusing, and frustrating when trying to communicate.
It is important to recognize these symptoms and adapt what or how you say something to
express yourself clearly.
Try to be specific when you’re communicating.
Messages that are ambiguous or unclear or open-ended can be confusing.
A statement like,
“Don’t barge in!”
can be clearer if you say,
“I would like you to knock before you enter my room.”
A phrase such as,
"You never listen to me!”
is easier to understand if you say,
“I feel ignored, when you keep your headphones on and look away while I’m trying to talk to you.”
And a comment like,
"We don’t spend time together!”
might be clearer if instead you say,
“I would like it if we could make plans to do something together this weekend.”
When you are clear and specific,
the person will better understand you and what you are thinking.
Another way to clearly communicate is to use an “I" Message.
This method focuses on your feelings and thoughts rather than criticizing or blaming the other person.
“I" Messages works like this:
Instead of saying,
“Don’t touch my stuff!”
use an "I" Message and say,
“I feel angry when you go through my things without asking.”
If you want to say,
“You’re always late picking me up.”
Try to use an "I" Message and say,
“I feel forgotten, when you are late picking me up.”
And when you want to say something like,
“You don’t believe in me!”
You can use an "I" Message and instead say,
“I feel upset, when you say I will fail, I’m trying my best.”
"I" Messages can help you get your point across without making the person feel defensive.
These steps towards effective communication will help build a stronger relationship
between you and your loved one with mental illness.
Recognize the symptoms so you can respond accordingly.
Express yourself clearly so you can be understood.
And use “I" Messages to help get your point across.
And remember, it’s not what you say that’s important,
but how you say it.
Having a loved one with schizophrenia or another mental illness is not easy, and you are not alone.
So, find someone you trust like a family member, counsellor, or teacher and talk to them.
If you would like additional information for communicating with a loved one,
visit bcss.org/bcssyouth