On this episode of China Uncensored,
keep your friends close,
your enemies closer,
and make your frenemies your biggest trading partner!
Hi, welcome to China Uncensored.
I’m your host Chris Chappell.
In one of history’s rather bizarre twists of fate,
the United States is now selling weapons to Vietnam.
You know, Vietnam!
War!
Good god y’all,
what is it good for?
"I can also announce that the United States
is fully lifting the ban on the sales
of military equipment to Vietnam
that has been in place for some fifty years."
President Obama says it’s so Vietnam can defend itself.
But from whom, I wonder?
"The decision to lift the ban was not based on
China or any other considerations."
Of course not.
Why would China be part of it?!
A lot of countries have competing claims to different parts of the South China Sea,
but if you look at this Nine-Dash Line
so-called
China claims virtually all of it,
down to Indonesia and nearly the coast of the Philippines.
And has built artificial islands with military bases on them.
Five trillion dollars worth of shipping
goes through the South China Sea every year.
It’s also loaded with sweet, sweet natural resources
like oil!
It’s like a pie that everyone wants a piece of.
And China is determined to eat most of.
You see, the Chinese regime is like a Decepticon.
It’s been happily bullying its
much smaller, less metallic neighbors
in the South China Sea.
But then this guy shows up.
And now the Chinese regime might be rethinking its strategy.
It realizes that sometimes you catch more bumble bees with honey.
“We would gladly see Vietnam develop a normal,
friendly and cooperative relationship with all countries,
including the United States.”
So basically, China’s like,
“The US wants to team up with Communist Vietnam?
Fine.
No, seriously, they’re a great couple.
We’re sooooo over Vietnam!”
Because now China is leveling the playing field.
Joint military talks with Thailand,
Myanmar,
Malaysia,
Laos.
China’s leader even sent a congratulatory message
to the Philippines’ President-elect seeking deeper ties
and “a friendly, stable and sound” relationship.
Taiwan, they’re still kinda mad at.
I mean, what’d you expect?
But anyway, China’s response to a deepening
US-Vietnam military partnership is to
build their own, bigger military partnerships.
If you threaten us now with your Kick-a-Poo Kid,
we’ll build something better than you ever did.
Well, we know how that turned out.
But fortunately,
there’s one thing that may be able to stop this
from becoming a Big-Boy Boomeroo showdown:
Money.
China is one of the top three trading partners
for pretty much every country with competing South China Sea claims,
including Vietnam.
And if your relationship status is “frenemy,”
you can hate each other,
and still do business together.
And no one wants to blow that up.
So what do you think of China’s actions in the South China Sea?
Leave your comments below.
And please, if you like the show,
support China Uncensored on Patreon.
Once again I’m Chris Chappell.
See you next time.