Hello friend! My name is Spongebob!
What's your name? Well it is so nice to meet you.
Are you the winner of the VIP tour of the Krusty Krab?
It is a pleasure and an honor.
Well this is all Mr. Krabs' idea.
I guess technically, maybe it was my idea.
Well yesterday I said "Mr. Krabs I have an idea",
and then it was his idea to make it cost money.
It's worth every penny,
and I get to do unpaid overtime to be here.
When I started working here,
I had to pay Mr. Krabs $100 an hour!
You get to stay here until closing time and then some.
The Krusty Krab After Hours!
You know what that means..
The walls ooze green slime? Nah they always do that.
It's time for me to bring you around town
and show you the ropes of working in the finest
eating establishment ever established for eating.
I could show you how the cash register works,
how I clean the bathrooms,
how I fill the straw holder,
how I fill the napkin holder,
how I mop the floors,
how I can lock AND unlock the door,
how I say hello to Squidward,
how I carry a meal out to a loyal customer and,
how I make a Krabby Patty.
Oh I'm saving the best for first!
We've had a few other foods on our menu before like um,
the Krusty Krab Pizza,
salads,
Krabby Patty with jellyfish jelly,
and I've always wanted to learn how to make a three day potato salad but,
the Krabby Patty is unlike no other sandwich.
I'll let you try one first. I whipped one up before you got here.
Behold!
Beautiful isn't it?
Alright, here you go.
This one's all for you.
Gently, gently now.
Ah,
okay, take a bite.
What do you think?
Are you feeling it?
Are you feeling it now?
Oh oh no no no, uh slow down! You have to be careful. If you go overboard...
No! Worse! It'll go straight to your thighs,
then you'll blow up.
Don't worry, you can have one or, three today.
We just don't want to eat too many at a time.
Well a visit to the Krusty Krab makes everybody happy!
And what's better than servin' up smiles?
*gasp* Squidward! Don't be like Squidward.
Squidward is great though.
I wouldn't want to work here with anybody else!
Except maybe my best friend Patrick.
He didn't do too good of a job here though.
Oh yeah he was here for about a day.
When customers would call the phone and ask if this was the Krusty Krab he would say
"No, this is Patrick!", and hang up.
He also used the broom the wrong way and then someone came in and said
"Hey pal, you just blow in from stupid town?"
Were you that customer?
He's your cousin! Heh, small world!
Well, I'll try to teach you everything that I couldn't teach Patrick.
Let's start with something easy.
Hmm.... Oh!
Okay I know. We're gonna learn how to open a jar!
See? Easy! Now you try. First you need a jar.
Okay, uh, nope that's a pickle.
Uh, a jar, with a lid preferably.
Oh...
You can't find a jar. Did you try looking under the tray?
You know what, here you can use this one.
Now... the lid.
the lid,
the lid.
Open the lid.
*gasp*
Wow! You got it on the first try!
Well that means we can move on to
answering the phones.
Okay, I'll give us a little practice run.
Here's the phone, and when somebody calls
"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?"
Why yes it is! How can I help you today good customer?
*gasp* You would like to order a Krabby Patty?
Well great choice my good friend,
but you'll have to come in and order it at the restaurant.
We don't do delivery anymore.
In fact, I don't even have my license.
I scored a six on my driving test though.
Well, I needed six hundred...
but, you don't need a license to drive a sandwich.
Alright, thank you for calling the Krusty Krab! See? Easy!
Now you try. Here you go.
"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?"
Now tell them your name. Good!
And then, answer any question they have.
Anything!
Even if it's not about the Krusty Krab.
Well I've been on the phone for hours before.
Then Squidward made me hang up.
Well I think you got the hang of it!
Oh, before I forget.
I do have to tell you the most important rule.
What's that? Yes, no free napkins.
But the other important rule.
Only discuss the Krabby Patty secret formula with Mr Krabs,
and,
if Mr Krabs asks you for the Krabby Patty secret formula,
you have to have him go through the secret handshake.
Meatball meatball, spaghetti underneath.
Ravioli ravioli, great barrier reef!
Oh!
I should tell you about Plankton.
Plankton works over at the Chum Bucket across the street,
and he tries to steal the secret formula all the time.
Luckily, I've learned to be insertive and tell him no!
One time, he tried to get me to tell him by giving me a golden spatula.
Pfffft!
I kept it. Do you want to see it? I'm going to show you now. Oh!
Shing! Sparkle sparkle sparkle sparkle.
What's that? Am I too close?
Ohhh!
You're claustrophobic. Santa Claus isn't that scary.
Do you want me to show you more of my things?
Hmm, let's see...
Oh! You can look at my new employee of the month frame that just went up today.
I've got an employee of the month 26 times in a row.
Squidward could get it if he just applied himself.
Who am I kidding? He could try!
Do you want to ask me some questions?
Oh well absolutely I would love to answer them for you fire away!
What do I do outside of work?
Hmm, that's a good question.
I love jellyfishing with my best friend Patrick.
I love karate with my best friend Sandy.
And...
hanging out at home with my best friend Gary.
He's my pet snail.
We live in a pineapple.
Oh, I made this tiny model of my house so I could show people.
Ta-da!
This is where I live.
The front door, the windows, and it's got a beautiful roof.
I also have
a tiny model of Squidward's house,
and,
of the Krusty Krab! That's where we are right now!
Patrick's house is just a rock, so I made that model too.
But then I lost it in my rock collection.
Any other questions?
Where would I work if the Krusty Krab got closed down for health violations?
Well that would never happen!
But...
I would want to fight crime!
Yeah! Like my friends, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy!
They don't fight crime that often anymore but,
I think my superpower would be super speed! What about you?
This is fun! Oh that's a good one!
Hmm...
What's the best sound in the world?
Huh, I like these questions!
Oh, it has to be that tiny squeaking sound you get when you rub two pickles together.
You know the one.
*gasp*
You've never?!
Well it would be my honor. Fear not my new friend, I have some right here.
Da da da, da da da da, ra ta ta
You take two of these bad boys, and you're gonna want to get real close...
*squeaking*
You hear that?
*squeaking*
Music to my ears.
*squeaking*
Am I right or am I right?
*squeaking*
I never forget the pickles. Never. Not once.
One time, Bubble Bass made me think that I did,
but he was wrong. He was just hiding them under his tongue the whole time.
Let me see under your tongue.
All clear! Phew!
Oh Squidwaaaard!
Our guest is ready to learn about the cash register.
Okay then, I guess I'll teach you.
Alright, here...
is the cash register.
Now, this right here is the button you press, when you feel like it,
to help the Krusty Krab be the best restaurant ever.
That's what Mr. Krabs told me.
He says it adds on a tip from the customer,
and the tips all go right back to the Krusty Krab of course!
How else do you think it looks so sparkling and incredible in here?
Well, I do all the janitorial services too of course.
I have my own
bucket and mop for this.
You don't even need to fill it with water because we're under water!
Just kidding!
Of course you need to fill it with water, that's not how physics work down here at all.
When I'm cleaning, I like to sing to myself.
Sometimes the customers overhear, and tell Mr. Krabs what a good job I'm doing!
They're not complaining, Squidward.
What's your favorite song to sing?
Oooh, well, I can teach you one. Do you know the FUN song?
It goes like this.
"F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me.
N is for anywhere and anytime at all, down here in the deep blue sea!"
Your turn!
Wow! You are really good at singing!
*sniffing*
Wait a minute.
*sniffing*
Do you smell it?
*sniffing*
That smelly smell,
that smells...
smelly.
*gasp*
Anchovies!
I think you've learned all that you can learn about working at the Krusty Krab.
I hope you're ready. Oh wow, this is just like my first day.
All hands on deck Squidward!
Now's not the time to finish those errands!
We've got anchovies!
Ready friend?
Take this, you're going to need it, and let's get to the kitchen!
Serve up some Krabby Patties.