This is the practical part of The Power of Habit.
Well, how do you change a habit?
The first thing is always wanting the change.
The more it matters to you the easier it'll be.
Here's the 3 steps of how a habit plays out.
The cue is what reminds you or what makes you feel the urge to, say, smoke a cigarette.
The reward is whatever satisfies that urge or need you feel.
In this scenario, it's the cigarette itself or the addicting nicotine in it, that little
buzz, that little high you get from it.
The routine is the process of consuming that reward, like taking that cigarette box out
of your jacket, picking out one of the cigarettes, maybe even smoking with a co-worker on a 5
min break, and taking that first hit.
That's basically the cycle.
The cue could be as simple as seeing someone else smoke or as I said one of your co-workers
or fellow students asking you to join them for a smoke.
This is where I see a lot of people become entrenched in it, when it becomes a social
sort of ritual, where the other person expects you to continue and when you want to stop
there's crab-bucketing / "Oh I see you think you're better than us" and you now stop seeing
that person, because they're not in your department or class and maybe now you feel like you can't
do that and so you may even go with them, but "you're not going to smoke" and then they
ask you if you're sure with a cigarette sticking out of their box directly in your face and
of course, you give in, because you haven't replaced any of these steps.
You just stopped consuming the reward, you stopped the routine by not smoking, but you
still do feel the urge and a cigarette is still what would satisfy that need.
So, it's a damn tricky thing, getting out of a bad habit.
I truly recommend you stop smoking, if any of you are and if not, then stay away from
it.
I've had friends who I would laugh with at that old joke of people saying "I can stop
whenever I want, but I don't want to."
and "I'm only doing X on the weekend."
And those very friends who laughed with me at those people got into not only cigarettes,
but went even further and it all started with "Oh, it's just once a week, bro, chill the
fuck out, like I appreciate you looking out for me, man, but you really don't have to.
I got this man, don't worry."
and when they tried to stop, they couldn't.
I wasn't surprised and I wasn't around to tell them "I told you so.", because all they
wanted to do when we hung out at that point was drugs and alcohol.
I had thought they knew better.
And so I distanced myself from them, got into working out and martial arts, thinking about
taking up boxing or BJJ someday and through those activities I met a lot of new, like-minded,
healthy friends who wouldn't drag me down, but help me improve and get up to their advanced
level.
You don't wanna hang around losers, trust me and I realize I went off on a little tangent,
but I think that's a very important life lesson.
Be careful who you surround yourself with.
Bad habits form fast, easy and destroy your life, while good habits are hard to come by,
but they're sure as hell worth maintaining.
It's what we do on a regular basis that leads us to excellence or misery.
And one thing that the book isn't talking about enough is social aspects like peer pressure
and group think.
In my martial arts class there's about 50 people helping eachother grow and it's not
like in the gym, where you can skip a session.
You've got to be there.
Everybody's counting on you.
One of us can't do the pushups long enough, the whole group gets to do 20 more.
So, of course it's easier for me to keep up in that environment, but the exact same thing
applies with the destructive, bad habits.
Staying around people who don't help you grow, but limit your potential and waste everybody's
time is a difficult, if not impossible place to develop yourself in.
So, all that in mind, let's change your bad habit, whatever it may be.
The Cue Whenever you feel the urge for your habit,
ask yourself 1) what time it is, 2) where you are, 3) who else is around you, 4) what
you just did and 5) what emotions you are feeling.
Atleast one of these is the cue for your habit.
Look for consistencies to spot them when wanting a cigarette, junk food, drugs, video games,
porn, what have you.
The Reward What craving are you satisfying?
You've got to figure out how you can substitute the harmful reward, with a neutral or positive
reward that will still lead to satisfaction.
For heavy smokers there's things like nicotine chewing gum, called nicorette.
By chewing those instead of smoking you protect your lungs, while still receiving that nicotine
your body has become addicted to.
Now that is not ideal, since you're not fighting the addiction, however it's better than breathing
in harmful substances.
There's also electronic cigarettes that do less harm to your body, I'm not a doctor,
so I don't know, but they basically allow smokers to feel like they're smoking a normal
cigarette, but as I mentioned earlier, maybe the craving you're satisfying is that little
buzz you get from a cigarette that little high and you could try and substitute that
with the high that you get from running a few miles or doing a few pushups and situps.
It does work.
The Routine Once you've identified the cue and the reward
you can insert a new routine.
You choose an activity that is triggered by the old cue and delivers the old reward.
In my example, the whole cigarette isn't the reward, the nicotine or "the act of smoking",
or that little buzz is the reward.
The new routine then could be the nicotine chewing gums or the electronic cigarette that
could help you, but if you're really serious about quitting for good, you have to stop
telling everybody that "you're trying to quit" and tell them "you quit, that's it, you're
a non-smoker" and when you feel that urge for nicotine, you distract yourself.
Your new routine might just as well be brushing your teeth instead of smoking, chewing actual
chewing gums, or tic tacs.
I love tic tacs.
When you feel like smoking, you might drink a glass of water instead and that becomes
your new reward.
Never forget to breathe, as well.
After 10 days of not smoking you've overcome the worst part.
I like to keep track of my progress.
For every workout exercise there's a tick and after a few weeks of training that plan
looks pretty satisfying to me.
You could print a calendary and cross every day you've gone without smoking.
The longer that chain becomes the stronger your determination to keep it growing.
I hope this has been helpful to you, even if you're trying to lose fat, stop maturbating,
start working out etc.
- I've found a great flowchart that summarizes how to change a habit, you'll find it in the
description box below and as always thanks for watching.
Talk to you soon.