♪♪♪♪
[ Theme music plays ]
-Last season, we broke new ground
with our first black "Bachelorette,"
and this season we're back to the whites.
He's a racecar driver who, depending on the light,
is handsome.
Which of the 12 Laurens will he chose to be his bride?
We'll find out this season on "Car Hunk."
♪♪♪♪
-Hi, I'm Arie, and I a car guy.
Vroom, vroom.
I'm too old to be on this show
Something went wrong in my life,
but I can't wait to see the girls.
-Mm, I like this.
-Tell me something about you
-I'm Lauren B.
I'm a psychiatric nurse...'s patient.
And I bet you can tell by my voice that I don't have a dad.
-[ Chuckles ] I love that.
-Sorry, can I steal him for a sec?
Mm, I like this.
-Tell me something about you
-I'm Lauren C., and first off, sorry I'm 30.
Here's my underwear so you never forget where I'm from.
-Oh, yeah? Where's that?
-Labia, Alabama.
-Sorry, can I steal him for a sec?
[ Giggles ] Mm, I like this.
I'm sorry I cried on our dat today playing mini golf
with Young Sheldon.
It really took me out of my comfort zone.
-That's okay. Tell me something about you.
-I'm actually an inventor.
-Oh, yeah? What'd you invent?
-Eating Tide Pods.
-[ Chuckles ] I love that.
-Sorry, can I steal him for a sec?
-Fine. I'll just have a snack.
[ Laughter ]
-Ah...
-Mm, I like this.
Wait, are you a different guy?
[ Laughter ]
-Does it matter?
-No.
Some of the girls might be telling you about
some messed-up stuff I'm doing in the house
and I want you to know it's worse.
-[ Chuckles ] I love that.
-I hope I act insane enoug to be on the summer one
of these shows where the women sleep in their bathing suits
-Sorry, can I steal him for a sec?
Mm, I like this.
-Tell me something about you
-Well, most of the people in my town don't have their teeth
so I'm their queen there.
-[ Chuckles ] I love that.
-Mm, it's just --
I'm so scared that I'm gonna get sent home
because I'm the only girl who hasn't shown you
her full naked butt. -Mm.
-Sorry, can I steal him for a sec?
-Yeah.
-Mm, I like this.
-Tell me something about you
-Well, I have short hair.
Isn't that the weirdest thin you've ever seen in your life?
-Yeah, but somehow, I still like you.
-It's because I'm barely 21.
-Oh, yeah, that's what makes me horny.
-I'm sorry, I'm gonna stea him for a sec.
Hey. I need to tell you something
You're not the only man in my life.
This is Buster.
-Oh. You collect taxidermy
-Oh, no, he's just regular dead, but, um,
he was my first kiss.
Do you want to be my second?
-I don't think we're there yet.
-But we are, so come here, baby.
-[ Chuckles ] -[ Moans ]
Oh, yeah. I want to tell you a secret.
-Okay.
-I have a gun in my room. -Oh.
-Yeah. -Thanks for being vulnerable
-You got it. -Sorry,
can I steal him for a sec?
I loved our date today.
It was a dream come true playing a dead body on HBO's "Crashing."
Sorry I cried so hard I puked.
-That's okay. I thought it was cute.
-[ Laughs ] Arie, I need t tell you something, and it's
really hard for me to say.
I actually have curly hair
-I'll walk you out.
♪♪♪♪ [ Applause ]
[ Projector clicking ]
[ Theme music plays ]
-A 26-year-old virgin whos job is "exercises"
has to choose between 30 women who didn't vote.
This season on "Virgin Hunk.
Hi, I'm Dalton, and I'm from Turd River, Colorado.
There are a few reasons that I could be a virgin,
so just pick one and go with that.
I'm ready to find love with on of these randos.
-Mmm, I missed you.
-Oh, tell me something about you.
-I'm Hannah C. I'm 31, so I'm almost dead
My ex-boyfriend is Dirty John,
but he dumped me because I'm too clingy.
-I have such a connection with you.
-I'm sorry, can I steal hi for a sec?
-Hey.
-Mmm, I missed you.
-Oh, yeah, I had so much fun on our date today
skydiving with Post Malone
Tell me something about you.
-Well, I'm from Rest Area, Missouri,
and I can't wait until you visit my hometown,
where you'll see that all my busted brothers
have a crush on me.
-Hey, sorry, can I steal him for a sec?
Mmm, I missed you.
-Okay.
Tell me something about you.
-Um, I'm Jessica C.,
and I don't know what to say
because I've never been myself even once.
-Well, I can see that you're Miss Virginia.
-Oh, almost.
-Oh!
-Sorry, can I steal him for a sec?
-Oh. -Mmm, I missed you.
-[ Chuckles ] -I loved our date today
where I dry-humped you at Medieval Times.
-Yeah, I'm sorry my pants exploded.
I'm super backed up.
So, tell me about yourself
-Well, I'm 20-frunk years old,
and I'm a content creator.
And the content is porn.
-Sorry, can I steal him for a sec?
-Yeah.
-Mmm, I missed you.
-So what makes you, you?
-Well, I mostly do PR -- Puerto Ricans.
-Oh, cool.
So, how's it going in the house?
-Actually, I do have something to confess.
I grew up with Kaitlyn S.,
and she's a toxic lying bitc with no teeth.
Does that make you like me more?
-Sorry, can I steal him for a sec?
Mmm, I missed you.
-Tell me something about you
-Well, you can probably tell
because I'm the only brunette here
that my family fled from Cuba.
But, don't worry, I'm anti-immigration.
If I could have closed the doo behind me, I would have.
-Sorry, can I steal him for a sec?
Mmm, I missed you.
Do you remember my name? -Oh, you know I don't.
And if I guess, you'll guess I'm racist.
-Well, my name is Adaku.
-Wow, never gonna say that
-Okay. Okay, I'm Katie now
-Oh, I like that.
-Anyway, I'm black and I have short hair,
so I just want to say goodbye.
-Okay. Van's out front.
All right, bye. -Hi.
It's me from before, but more drunk.
[ Laughter ]
-Okay, so, we're on a date
Tell me the saddest thing that's ever happened to you.
-Hmm, well, it's tough to say.
It's either my awkward phase
or when my mom combusted in front of me.
-That sounds really hard.
-Yeah, so, mouth stuff now or...?
-Hey, sorry, can I steal him for a sec?
-Oh, I need more time.
-Oh.
[ Keys jingling ]
-Oh.
Oh, I'm gonna get that.
-[ Chuckles ]
-Hi, I brought you this peac because I live in Georgia,
and this is a banana because if you pick me, then..
-Oh!
This is making me fall for you
Look, I'm not saving mysel until marriage,
I'm just saving myself until the producers say go.
-Okay, um, I actually have a secret.
I'm also a virgin.
-Oh, why? What's wrong with you?
I'll walk you out.
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Theme music plays ]
-One hunk with a sculpted beard.
25 beautiful-adjacent ladies
Who will he choose to be his bride?
It all happens tonight on "Beard Hunk."
-Hi, I'm Nick, and this season there's gonna be a lot
of drama, a lot of excitement, and, as always, minimal Asians
I can't wait.
-Mm, I like this.
-So, tell me about yourself.
-Well, my name is Raquel,
I'm 24, but my face is 36,
and I'm the worst girl in any room I'm in.
-I like that.
-Also, I'm a business owner.
-Oh, what kind of business -Okay, I'm not.
-Sorry, can I steal him for a sec?
Mm, I like this.
-So, tell me about yourself.
-Well, um, my name is whatever.
Also, of all of the girls here
I have the most abrupt ombre
and I'm looking for a husband,
even though I'm not old enough to vote.
-How old are you? -26.
-That is old enough to vote.
-Oh, well.
-Sorry, can I steal him for a sec?
Mm, I like this.
-So, tell me about yourself.
-My name is Alley and I wa born in an Ashley.
Sorry, my name is Ashley and I was born in an alley.
-I like that. -Also, I have a twin sister,
and this is really hard to tel you, but she's sick...
...of the way I treat her.
-Sorry, can I steal him for a sec?
-Yeah.
Mm, I like this.
I've been waiting to talk to you all night
'cause it's 5:30 in the morning.
-So, when was your last relationship?
-Um, well, I was married last year.
-Oh, really? -Yes, to you.
-Oh, right! Hi!
-Sorry.
Can I steal him for a sec? -Mm.
-Mm, I like this.
-So, tell me about yourself.
-Well, I'm a veterinarian, so I love animals,
but I'm also a very sexual person,
so I'd love to jack you of whenever you want.
-I like that.
-And here's another little secret about me --
I don't have a gag reflex.
-That's hot.
-Yeah, but I do have four very sharp teeth.
-Can I steal him for a sec -Yeah.
-Nick, I'm so lucky to be here
In fact, I'm lucky to be her at all.
I was born eight months early.
I was in an incubator for 5 years.
The doctors spent millions o dollars to keep me alive,
and I survived.
-Wow. What do you do now?
-I promote iced tea on Instagram.
-Sorry, can I steal him for a sec?
Nick, I want to tell you something.
I have a daughter, she's 3
and she's my best friend in the whole world.
-Where is she right now?
-Um, I think at, like, a neighbor's or something.
But she's always with me because I have this drawing of us.
-Aww, she's a good artist.
-Oh, no, I did this.
-Sorry, can I steal him for a sec?
-Yeah.
-Hi. I missed you.
-Thanks.
So, tell me about yourself
-Well, I'm a judg...mental bitch.
Um...and for my job, I work at Hooters.
-Wow. That's hot.
-Yeah, it's so hot, 'cause I work in the kitchen
-Can I steal him for a sec
-Mm, I feel so safe right now.
-So, tell me more about yourself.
-Well, my favorite animal is a frog because I love the wate
and my eye color is green
and I do pee and poop out of the same hole.
-Can I steal him for a sec -Yes!
-Nick, I've been lying to yo and I need to come clean.
I have five STDs.
-That's okay. I don't mind
-Also, I didn't bring a bikini
I only brought a one-piece
-I'll walk you out.
-We'll be right back with more "Beard Hunk."
[ Cheers and applause ]