How ya goin' ya big bloody beautiful bastards
Here's me face!
Just quickly, just a quick face
I've got a brand new product
On Ozzymanshop.com that I reckon you legends are gonna love
Stick around after the video
To see it fully in action
Here's a sample
[Card] "How ya goin' ya big bloody beautiful bastard"
[Card] "A massive congratulations to you for reaching Destination F#%ked"
It's available now and the link is below
But watch the video first
Welcome to recreational boating day
Anytime I say that something usually goes horribly wrong
The powerful forces behind Destination f#%ked
Love screwing with boats
This fella is like
"Come on, you're embarrassing me"
"I paid a lot of money for you"
"You're meant to make me look good"
Let's cross back to him later to see if his day improves
These fellas are zooming around
In their apocalyptic desert buggy
Look out for the big cactus!
BAAAAMM!
They have arrived
They actually look comfortable
I guess some people are so badass
They don't mind relaxing in Destination F'd
They have resilience
Mountain biking
We know how these videos end in this series
*Some weird DF language*
Hoooowww''sss yaaa shoouullllddaaahhhhhh
And the rest of ya body in general?
Don't tell me the bikes gonna land on him
Don't tell me
Don't, don't, don't, don't
Ooooaaahhh
He got lucky there
He doesn't feel lucky, but yeah, nah, yeah
It could have been worse
Stay positive
Planes are fun most of the time
Unless you walk into them
*Horrifyingly loud smash noise*
[Man] "Ah ye bugger.....ahhh'
*Slow mo loud smash noise*
[Man in Slow motion] "Ahhhh"
It's videos like this that make me anti-daydreaming
Don't do it, don't walk and daydream
You'll hurt yourself in the most obvious
Easily avoidable
And regrettable ways
No one talks about the dangers of daydreaming
This fella might now become an advocate for the cause
As he vacates Destination F#%ked
WAAATTERRRR
Strikes again
A core DF memory is created
This never works, I have never seen a video where this works
Yet again it has failed
To work
Aw nothing beats a top notch
Fair dinkum
Destination F#%ked
Facial Expression
Maybe this fellas cool can trick can work?
There's gotta be someone out there that can do a cool trick
Yep, okay
No.
That's just f#%ked
Meanwhile back at the beach
Not a lot of uplifting progress here
This dickhead is still being held captive in our favourite destination
By his aquatic investment
Come on, millions of years of evolution
You can outsmart a boat, mate, Jump on it
Jump on it, jump on it- Yeeeahh he's got it pinned
Well done, I'm chalking this up as a happy ending
Easy big man
Think about ya next move
Very carefully
You ARE intoxicated
Deep breath
Go slow, good
Good, no, no, HOLD!
HOLD!
NO! Ahh this is like watching dominoes fall
Big man down
Big man down in Destination F'ed
[Camera man] "Hey I don't think..."
[Camera man] "I don't think that's supposed to happen
[Camera man] "Whaddya think, man?"
No?
Soccer time!
Bullseye!
Aaaaannnd bullseye
That is a stylish way to f#%k yaself though
Adult with a wine glass alert
Looking to deactivate
WHAAAMMM!
Welcome to ya Destination
The local children here hope you enjoy your stay
She does
Let's end in Australia because I probably don't do that enough in this series
Springtime equals magpie season
And the bloke at the desk has found himself in a struggle
For survival
The maggie either wants to rip his eyeballs out
Or maybe it's customer
It's like
"What do you wankers do here? What's ya service?"
"Have you thought about using birds for word of mouth?"
"Cya"
And um, yeah, he immediately looks to call back up from the big city
I've never thought about it
If ya can use regular emergency services
When you're in Destination F#%ked
Like I mean, ya can
But does Destination F'd
Require it's own
Elite squad of Rescue Workers?
Maybe that's something to think about
As we close this video, stick around though!
[Card] "How ya goin' ya big bloody beautiful bastard"
[Card] "A massive congratulations to you"
[Card] "for reaching Destination F#%ked"
[Card] "Whether you're engaged, getting married, having a kid"
[Card] "You got a bloody valentine, it's Father's Day, It's Mothers day"
[Card] "Or is just ya plain old f#%ken birthday!"
[Card] "Whatever it is"
[Card] "You could be injured, unwell, in hospital, recovering"
[Card] "You got a new job!"
[Card] "I dunno ya story"
[Card] "But congratulations"
[Card] "And enjoy your stay"
[Card] 'In Destination F#%ked"
[Card] "Well done"
Available now, Ozzymanshop.com/card
Link Below
In the comments
Or the bio
Or the post description
Or it's... via carrier pigeon
Whatever.
Just go buy it. Ozzymanshop.com
Give it to ya mates
Give it to ya parents
Give it to ya Auntie
Give it to ya Grandpa
Give it to ya Grandma
Give it to any
Relation
Of yours that you choose
For almost any occasion
I listed off
A lot of occasions there
Ozzymanshop.com
Audio Congratulations Card
Available now