I got a lot of things I wanna say and a lot of business to get to.
But before all that,
is it good to be alive in Chicago on a Monday Night or what?
>> [APPLAUSE]
>> Hell yeah.
>> Everybody's asking CM Punk if he's gonna be at WrestleMania,
the short answer is yes.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> Everybody's
asking me how my elbows doing.
It's not great, it's not 100%.
I'm not medically cleared but damn it, my mouth works.
>> [LAUGH] >> We're not on Netflix yet,
so I apologize, April knows what I'm talking about.
[NOISE] >> Not
only are people asking me what I'm gonna do at WrestleMania, they got suggestions.
They say, are you gonna host WrestleMania?
[NOISE] >> I don't know, ten years ago,
if you asked me that, I would have thought hosting WrestleMania was beneath me.
But man, I just wanna be in front of all you people,
I wish WrestleMania was here in Chicago.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> Hint, hint.
[NOISE] >> People ask me, man,
you're great in the ring, you're great on the mic, you're great even at commentary.
Why don't you try to be a referee?
And I wonder, is there a title match at WrestleMania that
maybe needs the most impartial referee?
I don't know.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> Not only people
ask me a lot of questions, a lot of people talk about me.
A lot of people talk about me,
it seems there's a lot of people that even if they hate me, most of them love me.
They certainly need me, and they need to talk about me, Pat McAfee.
Pat McAfee, got yourself a little program, I understand.
I apologize,
I'm not a daily listener, I listen to the experience in the drive through.
But you had a guest on your show.
>> Understandable.
>> By the name of Roman Reigns.
[NOISE] >> And I sit back and I wonder,
why does a guy like Roman Reigns need to bring little old one arm CM Punk up?
He's earned that right, and I respect him for it.
But I have a feeling that me coming back and climbing back up the mountain, and
on Roman's way back down the mountain, we're gonna see each other pretty soon.
Another guy that likes to talk about me is Seth Rollins.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> Now me and
Seth, we go way back.
We don't see eye to eye, mostly because he wears high heels now and
he's somehow magically taller than me.
That's a story for another time, but LOLing that I hurt my arm paying
the price being a professional wrestler since I was 15 years old,
maybe he's earned that right.
I don't know, coming from somebody with two bad knees, that's kind of funny.
Somebody who hasn't talked about me, hasn't said a word, The Rock.
[NOISE] >> And
I'd like to think that's because ten years ago,
he remembers coming face to face with the Second City Saint and
realizing that his arms were just too short to box with God.
>> [APPLAUSE]
>> And then there's Drew McIntyre.
[NOISE] >> I
haven't said a word, I've been tight lipped.
That's because I don't perpetually, terminally live on the Internet.
I handle my business live and in living color,
when you got a problem in Chicago, you handle it face to face like a man.
[MUSIC]
>> Boy.
>> Well, here we go.
[MUSIC]
Turn off this stupid song.
Turn the stupid song off, nobody wants to listen to that.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> I ain't medically clear,
but I'm not looking to have a wrestling match, why don't you get your in here?
>> [APPLAUSE]
[NOISE]
>> I would
love to get to that ring right now and beat your ass.
But Punk, don't you remember what happened last time we were in the ring together?
[NOISE] >> I stumped that stupid little arm of
yours because you deserved it, and I told you I prayed for this, and it happened.
>> Hey, are you a scottish psychopath in a kilt?
Are you an Internet troll in a skirt, let's find out.
>> This is 2024, you wanna get canceled for talk like that?
No, tonight's perfect, I couldn't have prayed for this.
You're in the ring injured, Punk.
We're less than two weeks to Mania, we're in Chicago.
Drew McIntyre is in the World title match,
this is divine intervention, that's what this is.
>> Wrestling gods.
>> Man, I just realized I'm wearing this shirt, what bad manners.
You know on the back it says, number one in the checklist, injure CM Punk-
>> Drew McIntyre,
I ain't never had to put another man's name on a T- shirt to sell it.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> He got another shirt,
two shirt gimmick.
[NOISE] >> Struggled to get out of that thing with
my bicep, something you've probably never had an issue with.
You wanna know the most ironic thing about you, Punk?
The straight edge thing, you never drink, you never do drugs,
yet you spend all your time in rehab.
[NOISE] >> Now I can see in your eyes,
you don't like me too much, and you think I hate you like Seth Rollins.
And maybe at one time I hated you, and maybe there's issues that need resolved,
but no, as of right now, I don't hate you, Punk.
You complete me.
>> Man, just boo this man.
>> No, hear me out.
>> You tell him who you paid to see.
>> Hear me out, when I'm in the gym and I can't get that last rep.
And I'm using weights you couldn't even have imagined in your prime,
I think about you and the weight goes up.
I'm at Elimination Chamber, first man in, 30 minutes in,
burst eardrum, equilibrium off, can't possibly win that thing.
I think about CM Punk and I get the job done, you're my muse, man.
>> I can't hear a word you're saying, why don't you come into this ring and
speak into my good ear?
Come on you coward.
>> I would love to get in that ring, but I know what the people of Chicago are like.
You probably have a weapon in there, and you'll try and
take me out before WrestleMania.
[NOISE] >> What the hell?
>> I don't have any idea.
>> Yeah, do not shoot up my kilt You perv.
Listen Punk, please, I know you want to be at WrestleMania bad, real bad.
You don't have to sneak in, I want you there.
I want you to have a front row seat at WrestleMania because you honestly believe
you should be in my position, but you shouldn't.
And everybody's finally starting to realize what I've known all along that
Drew McIntyre has always been the chosen one.
>> Chosen one, who chose you?
Who?
What was his name?
You got the balls to say you're the chosen one,
tell me what paragon of good virtue chose you?
It wasn't the people in Chicago, wasn't the people in San Antonio when we went
off the air on Monday Night Raw, and they were saying, CM Punk.
>> CM Punk.
>> Punk, please keep going.
Get it in while you can, because you're gonna be out for months still.
This is your moment, this is exciting, I feel like a fan sitting here.
But anyway, if you want to be part of the show, maybe since I'm on the commentary
desk of an idea, I want you to have a front row seat.
You're only good at talking, running that mouth of yours so
why don't you maybe be the guest commentator for the world title match and
have to watch Drew McIntyre, finally have his moment and
raise that World Heavyweight championship with live fans in a stadium.
>> I like that, Cole.
[MUSIC]
>> Full of surprise there.
Hypocrite McIntyre was scared to get in the ring.
>> You need to watch your mouth, that Celtic man is within earshot of you.
And now Seth Freakin Rollins is joining the conversation.
>> Rollins and McIntyre face off of for
the World Heavyweight championship WrestleMania Sunday.
[MUSIC]
>> That stare down there, couple Hall of Famers.
>> Yeah, no love loss between those two either.
>> Boo McIntyre said, maybe- >> It's Drew.
>> [MUSIC]
>> Historically, a good singing city.
[NOISE]
>> Chicago,
>> [APPLAUSE]
>> Welcome to Monday Night-
>> Rollins.
>> And now that we've firmly established whose show this is,
whose show this has been, and
whose show this is going to be, if you two children.
>> Just let it happen, bro.
Just let it happen.
It could be your show, it's my city.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> I know it's a one away game for
me tonight, Punk, but if you guys are done trying to out troll each other,
maybe we get down to business.
You see, if you two morons had even one brain cell amongst the two of you,
you know you don't get to make decisions about the World Heavyweight
championship match at WrestleMania when you're not in it.
[NOISE]
>> But since you guys seem to wanna take
everybody's opinion into account except the champ himself,
I figure why not go all the way?
Why not take a poll of the whole city of Chicago?
So let's ask you fine folks here tonight, WrestleMania 40,
Drew McIntyre versus Seth Freakin Rollins, World Heavyweight title on the line.
Should CM Punk be on commentary?
[NOISE]
>> I'd like that, that'd be fun.
Guess I'm the only one.
[NOISE]
>> That's
what you
need to take.
>> Look guys, I don't know if you know this, but
that's his counting arm right there.
>> One, two, three.
>> Quick count.
>> In all fairness, I really don't think I could be objectively fair with these two.
>> PG, brother.
[NOISE]
>> You wanna know what I think, Punk?
Nope.
>> [LAUGH] >> Well,
that's ironic, cuz I don't think anything about you.
Matter of fact,
you haven't crossed my mind since the last time we were in this ring together.
I don't give a damn about you, you're a non-factor to me.
If you wanna be on commentary at WrestleMania,
you wanna be a referee at WrestleMania, it doesn't matter to me.
The funny thing to me, though, is that you're talking about how everybody
needs you but the fact is, you need me to have a moment at WrestleMania.
[NOISE] >> I
like the idea of commentary because the Irony of CM Punk
narrating my finest hour has not been lost on me.
And Punk, truthfully, the way things are going for you, it's
about as close to a World Championship as you're ever gonna get again.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> So look,
you do whatever you want at WrestleMania.
The one thing I need you to know,
the one thing I need you to do,
is stay out of my way.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> Okay, it's decided.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> I'm gonna put some cans on,
sit next to my budy Michael Cole.
All the Coal Miners, Pat McAfee, yeah.
Do a little commentary WrestleMania.
And I guarantee you I will do something that you, the lips in your boots,
the shoe polish in your beard, your skirt, all the pyro in the world, and
that stupid sword that you came out to the ring with.
And you, your bell bottoms, your championship, your wife.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> My ten-year absence from this company
could never do is make you both interesting.
Now hit my music.
[MUSIC]
>> Who else?
[MUSIC]
>> It was all kinda Drew McIntyre's idea.
>> No, he doesn't get the last word, cut the music.
>> What? >> He's not even in a WrestleMania,
you don't get the last word, Punk.
>> His content, that's how it works.
>> I wanna make one thing clear,
the only thing Drew McIntyre is obsessed with is the title.
You are obsessed with me, you think about me all day long,
you watch me in social media, you watch me on TV, because I am living your dream.
You're my number one, Stan, write me back just to chill,
truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Phil.
>> And Rollins with a wide sidekick to McIntyre.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> Medically cleared, stronger than ever.
>> Stop!
>> [APPLAUSE] >> And perhaps,
it is Drew McIntyre who is now taking his eye off the ball, not Seth Rollins.
McIntyre has been so obsessed with CM Punk,
who is even a factor at WrestleMania.
And Pat tonight that obsession cost McIntyre dearly.
[MUSIC]