- I'm this much drunk to answer your question.
(upbeat jazz music)
- So today we are giving advice.
I'm drunk I've had a lot of pink wine.
- I am drinking champagne and I am tipsy.
With my friends I give a lot of advice.
With random strangers I give a lot of advice.
- I'm drinking a White Zinfandel and I'm pretty good.
- That glass looks empty.
- Sure is.
- You look like you're havin' a hard day.
- I have a few things that have been on my mind
and I'm looking for some sound advice.
- You know I'm drunk right?
- I do now. (laughs)
- Jazzy Jazz.
You know me really well,
but you know how I'm like a perfectionist?
- To a tee.
- I feel like I'm like stuck at this place.
I work so hard on things, like super super hard.
- Mhm, I see it.
- I mean for a long time
And then at the end of the day I'm not like that,
I don't even feel better about it in the end.
- Side note, your hair looks so pretty in this light.
- Oh?
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
- It's a pretty color.
Okay anyways.
Everybody feels like they're not good enough,
especially when you see people doing things
around you that are amazing.
But in all reality all of us are really doing that anyway
and we just need to give ourselves the credit for it.
Start there and then watch yourself fly.
- Maybe some wine.
- Yeah maybe that'll help, it's hot in here.
- This is a problem I've had my entire life.
I have such an issue with telling people
that I have feelings for that I have feelings for them.
- What?
- I can't do it.
- Do you wanna role play?
- Sure, lets do it.
- Okay so, I really value our friendship first and foremost
however I just want to say moving forward
this is how I feel.
So I want that dick.
(laughs)
- Shouldn't I be me and you be the person
'cause like don't I need to practice this?
I also want that dick.
- Wait where are we?
- I don't know.
- Are you you or are you me?
- I'm very very lost right now. (laughs)
- I got this text from my best friend Devin.
I was asking her if she wanted to hang out this weekend.
And she literally just responded with a k.
And I feel like our relationship is now on the rocks.
'Cause you know Devin.
- Yeah I know her, I know her really well.
- You guys hang out.
- But has she ever texted you just a k?
- No.
And I don't mean that means anything about our ranking
of friendship with Devin like I'm not saying that you just
getting a k after hours of being ignored
means that you're less than me.
- When you say it like that.
- My instinct would be to be a little worried.
- Really?
(laughs)
- No. (laughs)
You're being really blasé about this
- Yeah.
- And this is like my best friendship.
(laughs)
- Cheers.
- The timing of this is kind of perfect,
I recently fired my therapist.
(gasps)
Should I see other therapists or is this enough?
- Oh no, it's not enough.
- Emphatic no.
- No.
So I feel like finding a therapist is like dating.
Personally, and it's like you never know if it's going
to work out the first time or you kind of have to see
multiple people to see what's gonna vibe with you.
I feel like you should do that.
- I just gotta get myself back out there.
- Yeah. (laughs)
Whether you are the best, whatever that means, the best ever
or in your worst like you still need to talk
and process stuff.
- Yeah, I do.
- Yeah.
- I really do.
- We all do.
Just remember that though, that like you're important
and you deserve that.
- I haven't been told that in a long time.
- Aw!
You know what?
Or you can just fill me in pencil me in every Tuesday
and give me like 40 bucks.
- Yeah can I just like come back here?
- Right about here.
- I really want to get in better shape, to work out more,
to eat better.
That's a big one is eating better.
- Okay.
- But I constantly eat fast food.
- What kind of fast food are we talking about?
- I'm a real whore for fast food.
- Talk to me, talk to me, give it to me.
- My goodness, Jack in the Box.
- Wow.
- McDonald's.
- Okay.
- Taco Bell.
- Shit.
- I just eat a lot of fast food, all the major chains.
- Sorry I keep burping.
- You alright? It's okay.
- Are there any healthier options at these fast food
establishments. (laughs)
There's salads, there's grilled chicken sandwiches.
- I do like grilled chicken.
- Yeah, well that's the first step in getting healthy.
Doesn't like the Rock Dwayne Johnson eat like seven pounds
of grilled chicken.
No it's cod, he eats cod a day.
We'll get there, we're gonna work our way up to that.
- I've had this friend that I've been pretty much
best friends with my whole life.
But lately he's gone a bit off the political deep end.
Make some very strange tweets, that stuff.
How do I sort of end this relationship
that I've had for a while now?
- Oh man, I think you just have to be kind of
straight forward.
I think that's something you have to like really,
you're just going to have to accept that there's going to be
a little confrontation about--
- Should I rip the bandaid off?
- Yeah.
- I think that was actually very helpful.
I think I can take this. Maybe the alcohol helped.
But you're always blunt anyways.
- Yeah, what?
I think, drunk or sober, my advice giving ability
is 100 percent.
- I think this is personally how therapy should be done.
You come up to a little desk and you drink some champagne
and we're just sitting here chatting, talking.
- I did great.
I was there with them, you know?
I'm not here to judge and I'm going to build you up.
And I'm going to give you some of this pink wine
because it helps.
(upbeat jazz music)