>> HEY.
HOW ARE YOU GUYS.
I JUST CAME IN FROM NEW YORK CITY.
I WAS ON THE TRAIN LAST WEEK, THERE WAS A HOMELESS GUY JUST
SING BEING HOW HOMELESS HE WAS.
AND HE HAD A BEAUTIFUL VOICE, WE ALL GAVE HIM MONEY, THEN TWO
MINUTES LATER THIS OTHER HOMELESS GUY CAME ON, HE IS LAKE
I'M HOMELESS, I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY, AND ALL OF US ARE LIKE
YOU CAME AT A REALLY BAD TIME.
THE LAST GUY DAZZLED US, SO-- THIS IS A BIT OF OF A
DISAPPOINTMENT, YOU HE THEY THASM IS HOW TOUGH NEW YORK CITY
S YOU CAN'T JUST BE HOMELESS, YOU GOT TO HAVE LIKE A THING.
CUZ HE'S LIKE I'M HOMELESS, BUT I'M LIKE BUT WHAT'S YOUR HOOK, I
FEEL LIKE AN MARK'S GOT TALENT JUDGE EF RETIME I SEE A HOMELESS
PERSON.
I AM HOMELESS, I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY, UH-HUH, AND WHAT WILL YOU
PERFORMING FOR US THIS EVENING?
(LAUGHTER) IT IS A STRANGE TIME RIGHT NOW.
PEOPLE ARE VERY ANGRY WITH MEN RIGHT NOW.
AND YOU KNOW, I'M TRYING TO BE A BETTER MAN.
FOR ONE THING I'M WATCHING LESS OFFICE PORN.
(LAUGHTER) YOU CAN LAUGH BUT IT IS A NICE
GESTURE.
BECAUSE I USED TO LIKE OFFICE PORN BUT NOW WHEN I SEE IT I AM
LIKE, YOU HE SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT.
THERE SHOULD BE A GUY THAT COMES ON AT THE END THAT GOES HE DUN
WORK HERE ANY MORE.
THAT WAS CRAZY 789 I LOVE BEING A MAN RIGHT NOW.
THE BAR HAS NEVER BEEN LOWERED.
IT'S FANTASTIC.
I WAS WITH A GIRL THE OTHER NIGHT IN MY PARM AND SHE SAID I
DON'T THINK THAT WE SHOULD HAVE SEX.
I GO E, THIS' FINE.
SHE GOES WOW, ARE YOU A GREAT GUY.
THAT'S ALL IT TEAKS?
I'M PRETTY SURE THE ALTERNATIVE IS A FELONY, SO-- I WILL TAKE IT
I BLAME THESE '80S MOVIE, EVERY SEX COME DEERK THE BEST FRIEND
WAS ALWAYS A HORRIBLE INFLUENCE.
HE WAS ALWAYS THIS GUY, DID YOU GET LAID LAST NIGHT, THE GUY
WOULD BE NO, AND HE WOULD BE LIKE, YOU'RE A LOSER.
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO NEW MOVIES WHERE THEY HAVE TO WRITE
IN A WOKE BEST FRIEND. A GUY IS LIKE DID YOU SMASH LAST NIGHT,
NO, WE JUST TALKED, WELL SOMETIMES A CONVERSATION COULD
BE EVEN MORE FULFILLING.
SO-- (LAUGHTER)
IT'S-- THE ME TOO MOVEMENT T IS A NECESSARY MOVEMENT, A VERY
IMPORTANT MOVEMENT, IT IS AN HE MOTIONAL MOVE.
SO SOMETIMES I SEE POSTS AS A MAN I CAN'T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND.
I SAW A POST THAT SAID THERE IS NOTHING MORE FORKED THAN AN
INTELLIGENT WOMAN.
I WAS LIKE, THAT IS NOT TRUE.
THAT IS NOT EVEN IN MY TOP FIVE.
AND I FRIGHT BE EASILY.
HAVE I NEVER BEEN ON THE SUBWAY AT 2 A.M. AND BEEN LIKE OH NO.
THIS LOOKS LIKE A PACK OF VAL DIK TORANS RIGHT HERE.
(APPLAUSE) AND GOOD FOR YOU GUYS FOR COMING
OUT, YOU KNOW T IS TOUGH TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THESE DAYS.
ALL THAT GREAT TRUE CRIME AT HOME.
THAT IS ALL I WATCH IS TRUE CRIME AND COMEDY.
And I DO THIS, SO IF I SEE A COMIC ON TV I'M LIKE, THIS GUY
SUCKS, I WONDER IF MURDERS WATCH TRUE CRIME LIKE AMATEUR HOUR.
I MEAN THREE MURDERS IN FIVE YEARS 6789 I SHOULD BE THE ONE
ON -- IT.
(LAUGHTER) EVERY MURDERER SAYS THE SAME
THING, I HEARD VOICES IN MY HEAD, I'M LIKE YEAH, WE ALL DO.
EVERYONE HEARS VOICES, IN THEIR HEAD, GOOD PEOPLE JUST DON'T
LISTEN TO THEM.
IF I LISTENED TO ALL THE VOICES IN MY HEAD, I WOULD BE A
SOMETIMES GAY STREET FIGHTER, SO--
(LAUGHTER) I KNOW THAT SOUNDS LOOK A
CONFUSING VIDEO GAME, IT'S NOT.
EVERY MASS SHOOTER WHAT DO THEY SAY, HE WAS A VERY QUIET MAN.
THAT SHOULD BE PART OF THE BACKGROUND CHECK FOR GUN, BY THE
WAY.
YOU WANT IT GUN, YOU BETTER BB CHATTY.
DO MY PODCAST, WE'LL SEE.
EVERY GUN DEBATE, THEY ALWAYS MOVE THE FOUNDING FATHERS, THE
FOUNDING FATHERS HAD GUNS, YEAH, THEY DID THEY ALSO HAD WIGS.
SO IT WAS A VERY LONG TIME AGO.
THAT'S HOW LONG AGO IT WAS.
THEY THOUGHT A POWDERED WIG WAS A GOOD LUCK, LOOK, SO THAT IS MY
STANCE ON GUNS, YOU CAN HAVE A GUN BUT YOU HAVE TO WEAR THE
WIG.
AT LEAST THEN CAN I TELL WHO IS DANGEROUS FROM AFAR.
BUT I'M TRYING TO GET INTO MY APARTMENT AT 2 A.M. I TURN
AROUND AND SEE A BEN FRANKLIN LOOKING DUDE, I JUST HOPE THAT'S
NOT AN INTELLIGENT WOMAN, BUT-- YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN GREAT,
THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
(APPLAUSE).
>> James: JOHN MORRIL, HIS SHE