finding love is one thing keeping it for
the rest of your life is something else
think about the person you would like to
share your life with be with your soul
mate grow in love always go back to love
stop making that old stuff familiar make
better stuff familiar and lovable I'm
worthy of Love why should you say that
because it's true
[Music]
hey this is Marissa talking about the
most important thing for all of us how
to find love how to find your soulmate
because you really can I'm going to take
you through four stages to find and keep
the love of your life and then there's
an extra how to keep it because finding
love is one thing keeping it for the
rest of your life is something else and
of course you can have both let's go so
the first step the most important step
by none is this the one thing you must
do to find love is to believe you are
lovable that you are worthy of love
we're so busy trying to change our
weight our shape our size our clothes
trying to put stuff in take stuff out to
be lovable no no no no no no this is all
you have to do you sit there and go I am
lovable I accept myself as lovable I
believe I'm lovable I'm worthy of love
I'm deserving of love I am lovable of
course you'll get something I know but
I'm not really because you see I've got
these fat legs or I don't wear a nice
clothes or I haven't got any money my
dad left when I was two I've never had
love that is you no one else is saying
that I don't think well hey you're not
lovable you didn't have a dad it's only
you saying it and if you're saying it
you can stop saying it stop making the
old stuff familiar make better stuff
familiar unlovable I'm worthy of Love
why should you say that because it's
true of course you're worthy of love how
could you not be lovable you have a
lovable heart a lovable Soul forget
about the outer bit you are lovable just
the way you are say it state it affirm
it embody it make it your reality make
it so familiar that your mind goes oh
here you go again with a lovable stuff
you say this every day it must be true
then it will sink in the way butter
sinks into hot toast the way lotion
sinks in to dry skin it becomes a balm
for your vary so when you've done that
but you keep doing it in the shower is a
great time it's imaginative State just
keep saying I'm lovable I'm lovable I'm
lovable I'm worthy of Love deserving of
love and then you can start to add I'm
magnetically lovable insanely lovable
powerfully lovable keep going until it
sinks in and you accept the truth about
you you are deeply lovable and you
always will be now you can go on to step
two only when you've done step one not
before let's go to step two think about
the person you would like to share your
life with what qualities do they have I
want a millionaire a billionaire well
they're always on planes and often home
so think again do you want a family man
for me kindness is such an important
part of a relationship it's so
underrated
do you want someone funny kind
interesting fascinating compelling don't
get too hooked up on looks go for
qualities what are you looking for what
do you need what would make your heart
sing what would turn you on what would
set you on fire for me it was somebody
funny kind interesting and free to
travel and loved family man I should
have added that super tidy I didn't do
that and I didn't get there but I got
everything else so it's okay but really
think about what you want not what other
what do you want do you want someone
who's very demonstrative do you want
someone who's very open who's completely
honest you want someone sporty and when
you've really written down a lot of
things it's not a list because you can
go actually I don't need that anymore
but when you focus on what you what you
want and what you're looking for
you now need to go to step three person
you're looking for what are they looking
for I want someone sporty but are you
sporty no well that probably isn't going
to work I want someone who's super
intelligent is okay as long as you feel
that you can meet them conversationally
so when you've looked at your list step
three is
the person on your list what are they
looking for what do they want you see
you might say I want someone who loves
kids but they might not have any kids
and I'm not going to have any more kids
maybe better to have some with children
already maybe not only you can decide
when you've worked out what they want
start to become that if you want someone
sporty go to sporting events if you want
someone who's into friends of the earth
join Greenpeace if you want someone who
loves animals get involved with animals
I have a client a wonderful girl
his husband left as she was devastated
she started to work in an animal rescue
shelter just to take her out of her own
pain she said I became so besotted with
saving animals and I met a guy there now
we're blissfully happily married because
we we're on the same page we both become
vegans because we love animals so much
you might so that's not my thing which I
totally get but what is your thing what
is your thing because if your thing is
cleaning beaches or going to a protest
about something or getting involved
whether you'll meet someone who shares
your interests and that's what will make
your relationship work so you don't have
to change yourself once you know what
the person you want wants it's about
opening up that part of yourself and
then go into their Arena because if you
do this step by steps take some time to
really wire in firing that you are
lovable really focus on what you want
you see when your mind knows what you
want it's like a missile it goes towards
it your mind will move towards what it
thinks you when you know what you want
you'll go there what you want must want
you and then you must go into that Arena
I see so many women who say I'm looking
for love where will I go to yoga how
many guys are there one how many women
29 that's not going to work what else
you do I go to book clubs no no no if
you're looking for a guy get out of the
yoga and go into the weights room
if you're looking for a guy stop going
to book clubs and go to golf go to Poker
go to IT classes if you can believe
you're worthy of love and put yourself
in front of the kind of person you'd
like to be with you will very likely end
up with them I worked with this
beautiful girl I couldn't understand why
she was single all her friends were
women or her activists she was a coach I
said you need to go to join golf you
need to be a goal for this so many more
men than women playing golf she was
married in a year because she just had
to change what kind of person do I want
where is he can I turn up there being my
best self full of confidence full of
self belief believing I'm worthy of this
person of course you can you know
Victoria Beckham went to man united and
got David Beckham so I want him so I
went and got him girl power you can do
exactly the same it's up to you to do
the work it's not hard work it's
actually kind of easy do it
and you'll find love and love will find
you then when you've found love here
comes some new work how are you going to
Make It Last Forever how are you going
to be with your soul mate for people say
well I give 50 no no no no you've got to
give a hundred percent a relationships
where you go to give
and give what you most want to get back
and when that person annoys you imagine
your life without them occasionally my
husband annoys me and I close my eyes
and I think in my life without him and
then I immediately start to like him
again because he brings so much to my
life and sometimes we have a little
conversation go hey how can I be a
better wife you go well don't keep
walking in front of me at the airport
walk beside me oh yeah don't disappear
when we're in a shopping mall yeah I I
do all of that and then I say let me
tell you how you can be a better husband
to me and so we've got this great way of
communicating I said him once you know
darling when you just get up and go to
bed
I'd like you to lock all the doors
because then I feel protected I didn't
go you know you're so selfish you go to
bed you don't check I said I'd love to
feel protected by you and now it always
locks the Lucy I'm protecting you
because it's a what is it about asking
for what you want in a different way you
annoy me you always you never
it's much more hey I'd love it if you
did this
you could be a better Husband by doing
that and I will be a better wife to you
tell me what you need communicate
appreciate appreciation is a massive
thing in a relationship every day you
think wow I'm so lucky get into that
gratitude and appreciation because the
thing that makes a relationship Go the
Distance there are three things actually
best friend chemistry sexual chemistry
and admiring and appreciating the other
person the sexual bit is easy when you
first get together but you've got to
keep that going
best friend chemistry is really
important
admire and respect your partner so you
don't criticize you don't hit below the
belt because here's what goes wrong with
your soulmate we start to hit below the
belt well you come from a divorced
family I don't I've got more I've got a
better education than you well remember
last year when you messed that up and
you set the house on fire or you burnt
something you always forget my mum's
birthday you're so rude to people so now
you're hitting below the belt you're
going to have an argument you know how
to work it out you can only argue that
thing you're arguing about let's imagine
your partners are always late and you
say you know when you're always late I
really feel disrespected also I start to
worry about I don't know what's happened
to you I would like you to be on time
it's very very important Again by the
way you always buy me really cheap
presents you never put your underpants
in the laundry you always leave the
dishwasher you never empty it and I hate
the way you cook now you're gonna have
you've got so many things to fight about
you can only fight on topic no matter
how tempting it is to add in their
terrible dress sense they don't clean
their teeth properly and they walk mug
through the house no you want to have a
great relationship and argue better only
argue about one thing
it'll resolve itself easily you know if
you have to be right people have to
always be right at making someone else
wrong don't do that
be with your soul mate grow in love
always go back to love when they annoy
you remember what you fell in love with
play the songs you played when you were
first dating get out your album play
your wedding song Imagine your life
without them always go back to love why
should you do that because it's the best
please remember someone has your back
and you have theirs when someone loves
you go back to life don't go away from
it go back to it and you can keep it
forever I promise you it's true follow
these steps and let me know how you're
getting on go back to love it's the best
place to be I love you thanks for tuning
in check out my next video here
finding love is one thing keeping it for
the rest of your life is something else
think about the person you would like to
share your life with be with your soul
mate grow in love always go back to love
stop making that old stuff familiar make
better stuff familiar and lovable I'm
worthy of Love why should you say that
because it's true