I remember the first
time that I A got a prescription for
anti-psychotic medication after my psychiatrist
and I well just
completely shocked and to me that was really started the
the day where it really hit me like oh my god
I have mental illness that I walked out and
his office I just stunned I'm
and a member walking on the sidewalk I with looking down on the ground because
I thought
I can't look at these people and not I felt less and I didn't feel like I
wasn't
equal that's probably the
the hardest the hardest day sort of got that one
reality kinda hit or what I thought was reality
the on ahead
during and my manic episode it
I was feeling great because that's what made you feel like you feel like you're
on top of the world you're invincible you can do anything
I'm but there's a point at which
you can get so severe that you actually lose touch with reality which is what
ended up happening to me
the I'm remember that day very clearly had i
developed on the belief got there was actually
people that were I'm out to get me and
I actually ended up I'm driving into here's an airport
I and was walking around the airport copley terrified caught picking up every
emergency phone asking for the police because I wanted help
though someone actually did end up calling the police and the the police
did
and and coming in and I'm be ended up taking me to the hospital and not when I
was
admitted and for the treatment of me I
I'm with psychosis like Evangeline you know
a break in reality when
I can go back in you know hell
that her than anything it would be like don't worry everything's gonna be okay
I'm it very scary right now I'm
and yes you're very thick right now but that doesn't mean that you're gonna be
thick for
you know for rapture
I remember very clearly when doctors right ski
at Sunnybrook and gave me the diagnosis of bipolar disorder
I'm the way in which me presented it to me within a very hopeful away
I'm and you of course very realistic and saying yes this is our
mental illness but he also gave me this method by
if I do all the right things and i buy get the right treatment
I'm then I can have a very normal all full
happy successful life the net really make the world a difference it makes a
difference in how you view yourself
and how you view your illness and how you view I
your chances that recovery and before
my diagnosis during the war mental illness I think would
bring up images the people that you know don't have a happy
for lighting having gone through the experience Mike Bell
I now see that completely
not the case for anyone who
died gets the appropriate treatment on the report
I then there's so much hole
at the lake long ehlmann I
but it's not something that like ever hold me back to my life I have a very
fall I'm very happy way I have you know
a wonderful family and wonderful husband
I very successful and very enriching career
I and you know my day today I don't think of myself as a sick person
I I think myself as someone who has
maybe %uh vulnerability I'm that when not taking care of properly
can result in an illness but if I do all the right things in it when it is taken
care properly
I'm just like anybody else I'm and I don't see myself as being any different
from
you know from the average person I don't think people
any any differently when going
through the illness like the active when when you are
Dec and it is very difficult it is
you know that there they were some other the darkest days but I've experienced
I'm
by they begin to recover actually think that ad
by correctional to your life because 21 through that's
it really makes you look at life differently really makes you appreciate
your life that makes you appreciate your help it makes you appreciate
all the people that were there are there for you that are there to support you
and I've had a very wonderful experience that money bro
although the our have always been very welcoming very compassionate
I toward me and I'm just received you know
the at absolute best care you know the
moment that your diagnosis something that's so fundamental to
your concept at like who you are as a person it becomes part of the Cure
illness because part of your identity
and and so if you have I your if your doctor's
delivering a message of hope
gives you more and more motivation
that to live well to when
way