(Intro music)
(Soft piano music)
Hello everyone and welcome to another exciting installment of Rage Quit.
Here I'm gonna play "W-W-W"
Some people also call it V, V-V, V, V-V-V-V-V...
Part V.
The V Beginning.
Now the objective of "V", from my understanding is to press "V".
Something's happening... And "V"- yup 'V' advances the text.
So we already know everything we need to know.
Holy shit!
Oh my god, no! I didn't- This is like the fuckin' beginning of Star Trek!
Everybody's dead!
Kirk your father's dead!
He's fuckin' DEAD!
Are we gonna name every fuckin' screen?
Is that what's happening?
"Conundrum"
Yeah, I guess we are.
Eat the fuckin' "C".
Eat it!
Oooh shit!
WOAH! Holy crap! How did that happen?
What happened?
Press ENTER to activate the terminal...
Is this- What is this- like Halo? What is this?
Holy shit it is!
Read the thing, that's how you find the story!
Is this- Where- where's John?
Is John in there?
So the mechanic of "V", is you move around,
and you push one button. It could be "V"? It could be spacebar.
It could be up- It could be up and down.
But you push a button and you go up on the ceiling
And I'm on the fucking floor and then I'm dead.
and I'm on the ceiling...
And now- Get down to the fuckin' floor!
You can jump on the ceiling...
Oookay!
You can go through the fuckin' thing and die.
Alight, it's- What the fuck is happening?
Who gives a shit?
Shut up. Oh, I'm the fuckin captain?
You're god damn right I am.
Blah blah blah blah blah,
Oh, my god there's a fuckin' MAP?
It says "YES" but I think I'll still die-
Uh, yep. Mmhmm. It fooled me.
Ooh shit!
Get the fuckin' thing then!
I don't fucking care.
Alright. Don't... just walk into the guy.
I mean, fuck.
(grunts)
Oh, holy shit!
Yeah! Oh, 1 out of 20? Let me just fucking get the other 19 of those.
Okay, so I guess- Oh, god damnit!
Well... I'm over there
I'm pointing at the right... And I need to get to the "T"
For "titties"
Space Titties.
There's a CREW?
Holy shit! This game as long as hell never gonna fuckin' finish this.
And I've already died 9 times!
...Well that's gonna go up.
No, keep playing, what am I doing? No! Ah.
OOH GOD!
Oh, great. Mother fucker!
Mother. Fucker!
Oh, fuck!
(grunting)
Oh, god dammit!
You mother fucker!
You- Oh my god. You fuckin' little fuckin' TURD!
YOU LITTLE FUCKIN' TURD!
There you go, okay now do it backwards...
And don't fuck it up.
Mother fucker.
You fucked it up.
GOD DAMMIT!
Down the fuckin' hole- mother fu...
Fuck!
Holy fuckin' crap!
You fuckin' piece of shit!
Oh so there's the level, I beat the fuckin' level! Look at that!
I did one more than anyone thought I'd do!
I'm confused. So I saved her...
And it's like, they're talking about the crash but we're back in the ship that crashed...
So how the fuck are we here?
And that guy's just stuck in a hole?
And this guy's falling down a hole forever,
And this fucker's just hangin' out in a fuckin' Tetris room.
Yeah, thanks.
Thanks for the pep talk, mom.
You bitch.
Viridian...
Why do we all have V- Ooh! Now I get it!
The fuckin' name of the game!
Do you understand?!
But there's six of them and none of them at W's in their name!
So, now I'm just fuckin' runnin' around outer space
If I can fuckin' find my way back inside somewhere that'd be amazing
HELLO?
This is the rest of the game. I'm just fuckin' flying off into outer space.
I'm like fuckin' Sandra Bullock here!
Where am I? Whose gonna rescue me?!
AAH!
FUCK!
Now I'm- I don't even know where I am. I'm... hmmm-
Oh, this looks like the Tetris room.
I bet that other fucker's around here somewhere.
Oooh my god!
How did I go up?
... All of a sudden. How'd I do that?
Uh, uh, oh! Oh! OH!
Where is the other asshole?
I was in the fucking blue room and now I'm not in the blue room,
That dick head was down here somewhere...
Ya' son of a bitch!
(♪♪)
Fucking idiot.
(♪♪)
FUCK!
Just stop. Just stop goin' into the green thing.
You gotta go up, you gotta go OVER the fuckin thing!
Don't go into the thing!
The spike is bad!
Stop hugging the fucking spike!
The spike isn't warm and comforting!
ALRIGHT?!
THE SPIKE IS NOT A FUCKIN' APPLE PIE!
Oooh, great I do it again.
I- got- uh- what the fuck's happening?
I- what- I made it...
Sssshit!
Sshit!
Shit! Shit! Shit!
Oh...
Oh god no...
Ah! Fucking idiot!
(♪♪)
GOD DAMMIT!
FUCK!
Alright- this is- this is startin' to piss me off...
FUCKING GO AROUND IT!
(♪♪)
I- what was that!?
What the fuck was that!?
(♪♪)
Aaaah! Where'm I goin'? Where'm I goin'?
No!
What's happening!?
FUCK ME- Oh my god.
Phew!!
Alright, great, so I found another fuckin' tel-
Oh, come on!
Where is this fuckin' dickhead!?
Where is he?
Oh my god, this is uh...
This is startin' to affect my mental health.
This is...
This is ser- are you- are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?
Now I'm getting hit by the fucking CUBES?
WHEN'D YOU START THIS SHIT?
Oh! I don't even know what happened there...
That's... Complete horseshit that I didn't get killed by that.
Where'm I goin'?
Let's check the map- I'm up fucking top now!?
Where the fuck is the other guy!?
He's probably right over there.
I should'a went two spaces left of the teleporter,
and the fuckin jerk off would'a been standin' there.
He woud'a been like, "Hey."
"Where were you?"
I don't know I guess I went the other way!
(♪♪)
Just...
Just keep killin'! Just keep killing yourself.
Just keep doin' it.
Just KEEP DOIN' IT!
(♪♪)
Nice.
(♪♪)
Alright...
Just...
Don't do that.
Fuck!
(♪♪)
(Growls)
(♪♪)
(Whispering) Don't. Just- just you're pissin' me off.
You're pissin' me off. You're pissin' me the fuck off dude.
FUCK!
OH MY GOD, YES!
Holy crap!
(Growls)
God!
YOU GOD DAMN LITTLE ASSHOLE!
Where'm I goin'?
Okay-
There better be a fuckin' dude down here I swear to God...
HOLY FUCKIN' CRAP!
FINALLY! I FUCKIN' FOUND YOUR STUPID BLUE ASS!
I've been lookin' for you for like fuckin' 40 years!!
Do you know how many fuckin' spikes I shoved through my brain lookin' for you!?
Get on the fuckin' ship you're just standin' in a hallway!!
Get the fuck outta here!
So in 24 minutes I managed to die 107 fuckin' times,
and I saved two of these little assholes.
Now, this-this is not a normal Rage Quit, I'm- I'm gonna have to fuckin' play this piece of shit again,
And find the other little fuckers.
Because I- There's so much untapped potential in this fuckin' turd.
I- It's good, but I fucking hate it and I wanted to die!
I- It keep trying to make me quit! I don't wanna quit!
Actually, I do want to quit!
But, fuckin' let me do what I want to!
DON'T TELL ME WHEN TO DO-
(outro music)