Transcriber: Anh Ngô Reviewer: Hani Eldalees
As I stood there,
I was waiting for the nurse to hand me over the baby
and that’s what she did.
Looking into the baby’s eyes
and I couldn’t help
but imagine what kind of decision
the mother had to make,
to abandon this poor baby
just when she was 3 weeks old?
The baby’s not mine.
I was at an orphanage
but how did I get here?
Let’s rewind.
I had convinced myself I had it all
I graduated with a master’s degree,
I work for one of the biggest companies in the world.
And to put that into perspective, my parents,
they never went to school or held down a steady job.
My parents, they were born at the beginning of the Vietnam War.
So from the very get-go, they were on survival mode.
I went to war, finally ended.
They fled to Hong Kong, where I stayed for a few years
before making the way to the UK
when the rest four boys and one girl
are still operating on a survival mode
So just as kids going to primary school
was a huge accomplishment in their eyes.
So you can only imagine how they felt when we graduated.
But at that point of time, a graduating something just didn't feel right.
I said to myself. Is this it?
Where do I go from here?
A few months later, I followed the norm.
I got myself a job
but truth be told
it just didn’t excite me.
My parents bless them.
They saw me as a success with more success to come.
But at that time, for a very long time, I was broken.
Broken dreams, broken heart, broken inside
and a paper, the cracks and a smile for the pain,
and when it became unbearable, only one thing came to mind.
I just
wanted to die.
But something inside my head desperately wants to know that after I've gone,
that I've done something good and don't we all feel that way?
And that led me to volunteering at an orphanage in Vietnam
for two weeks just so that I could feel good about myself before I leave.
Upon arriving at the orphanage, I honestly did not know what to expect,
the director greeted me and I communicated my basic Vietnamese.
I said: “Come follow me.”
We went to the first room, she opened the door, and as I looked inside,
I must have seen at least 20 newborn babies that the director kept talking.
But my thoughts were drowning her words because at this point, I was livid.
Not at the orphanage, not at the director, but the parents.
How dare they abandon the children?
How dare they not raise their own kids?
But a part of me knew that
this must have been one of the hardest decisions parents had to make.
I was torn.
I was then taken to another room where filled with bedridden children,
introduced to a 9-year-old girl called Hien
and she suffered from Agent Orange so she had a really large head.
The director told me that she's been bedridden pretty much her entire life.
And as I looked at Hien, watching the sky,
it almost felt as if she was waiting for God to call her name.
I flew halfway across the world to be here to make a difference,
but here I stand feeling hopeless. How do I take the pain away?
The only thing I could do was lean towards her
and tell her everything’s gonna be OK.
But what I really meant was
I’m gonna pray for a miracle to save her life.
I was then taken to the third room, I can see children running around smiling,
laughing, chasing each other, and I remember the sweet smell of happiness.
Wow. So many mixed emotions under one single roof.
And all of a sudden, the kids stopped, looked at me and said:
“Em chào anh Michael”, which means “Hello, Michael”. And that melted my heart.
After two weeks of volunteering at the orphanage,
it finally became clear to me,
that my problems are not as big when compared to these children’s.
They don’t have much, yet they’re
the most happiest human beings I've ever come across.
And that's when I realized that after all this time, I didn't want to die.
I just needed a reason to live.
These children gave me purpose.
Fast forward, I've been fortunate enough to set up a charity to support
the underprivileged children in Vietnam, helping them in hospitals, orphanages,
temples and even sending children to school,
just so that we can make their lives just a little less hard.
These rock-bottom moments that we experience can either break you
Or be your breakthrough.
But not many of us who experience these rock-bottom moments,
so we’re just living. But are we living with purpose?
My purpose is really simple, is to make an impact on people’s lives
so that they can become a better version of themselves.
So let me ask you, what's your purpose?