Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World
'Well I'm certainly looking forward to it'
We're looking at Terror in the midnight Sun, also known as Invasion of the Animal People
and, my personal favorite, Space Invasion of Lapland
'That thing must have come from the crater'
None of which could honestly be said to have anything to do with what the film is about.
A meteor lands in Lapland
'Who said it had to be a meteor?'
He's right, it could be a metor
Never a good sign when you can't spell one of the key words in your film,
and I'm not wild about the hero either
'usually i never forget a pretty face.'
a playboy geologist
'I had some urgent business to take care of'
'So I see, it shows all over your face'
Thank you Miss Moneypenny
Now, I don't want to offend any who are watching but from the Astounding She Monster to Monolith Monsters,
B Movie sci-fi has a really bad track record of trying to make geologists sexy
'If you can believe your old uncle that lad has left a string of broken hearts all over Europe'
did I say hearts? I meant rocks.
'Isn't that funny'
Back to the plot, naturally, this isn't a just a meteor
'Gentlemen, we're standing before some kind of craft from outer space'
and from it emerges
the wampa's brunette cousin
Is it reversing?
This has now passed beyond the purview of geologists,
so, just to round out the team, they bring in an olympic figure skater.
'You just stay here and look pretty till we get back'
reluctantly it has to be said
'Anyone gonna talk to me?'
'No.'
Yeah, leave saving the world to the rock polishers and, more importantly, the men
'You were right, I had no business coming along'
At least she's learnt her place
'Good morning!'
'What a childish thing to do'
Just in time to meet the monster,
(Scream)
which fortunately for her, suffers from a malady common to many giant monsters - King Kong Syndrome
So many monsters do this - they'll eat all the men they can,
but a pretty girl is carried back to the hideout for...
I don't know. I don't how they think is going to work out, but I can tell them how it will
Now, as you would expect for a film with additional footage shot by Jerry Warren,
this is as badly made as this surprisingly volatile plane
It's a got a couple of cool ideas, notably, that the creature is being collected by more sophisticated aliens
who can apparently only enter or exit the frame sideways
but why, we never find out
'Is something wrong?'
Nothing is concluded, it's just a bunch of stuff that happened
'Ow my knee'
which you can do if your characters are interesting enough to sustain it
'Your reputation's the talk of the United States'
yeah.
Also this has more skiing than a Roger Moore James Bond movie and that's too much!
'We'll stop soon, I promise'
Apologies to any geologists we might have offended and to show there's no hard feelings
pitch us your sexy geology films in the comments below
Thanks for watching if you subscribe will love you forever
'Goodbye