Professor Chesca.
Thank you so much for being here.
Thank you so much for having me.
As everyone knows you have a PhD in compliments.
Yes.
Very well studied.
What's the worst compliment you have ever received?
Hmm.
I've gotten a few in my day but I have to say that one of the worst was that someone
told me I looked like Orlando Jones.
Orlando Jones is a man.
Funny guy.
Not the most attractive guy.
A huge crust to my ego.
Yeah that's a bad one.
What is the worst one you've gotten?
A YouTube commenter said that I looked like Tosh.0's sister.
Similar to my bad compliment.
I think a step above-yeah--I mean the sister.
Sister.
While I'm not really a fan of Tosh, he's not bad looking.
He's not revolting in the face.
Clearly though I think that everyone could benefit from a little lesson from an expert.
All you have to do is follow my patented T.A.C.O. system.
TACO system that's right, never forget the taco in compliment.
Yeah, acronyms make everything easier.
The 'T' stands for 'to the point'.
Do not beat around the bush, don't start talking about other unrelated things, you just want
to dive right in there and get to the point.
The 'A' stands for 'actually compliment'.
Oh that's good.
I hate non-complimentary compliments.
I think a lot of times people get tripped up and they say something that's kind of negative
and they try to wrap it up in a smile.
Or they just make an observation like, 'You have glasses on.'
Look at those.
C: 'Creepy'.
Huh?
Not!
Oh.
Don't be creepy.
Don't like lick your lips while you're doing it or--just don't lick your lips in public,
period.
'O' stands for 'honest'.
Get it, sounds like an 'O' but it's--nice, phonetic.
Well I am so glad that you are teaching everybody the TACO system because compliments that are
delivered well really have positive effects on people.
There's actually this 2012 study that came out of Japan, okay?
Employees at a business who were just delivered compliments about their performance, they
felt like they'd gotten a bonus, like a cash bonus.
I absolutely believe it.
To help folks understand and really integrate the TACO system into their lives, should we
do a little role play, a little role play?
Yeah.
I think that that's actually a really good idea.
Oh well thank you.
Sounds like I'm getting a little TACO.
Yeah.
Sounds like I just TACO-ed you.
I gave you a TACloment.
A TACloment.
The 'T' in TACO, 'to the point'.
Wow look at that shirt.
You know it reminds me of this shirt that I had like in elementary school and I had
such a tough time back them, I was really struggling with like my ABCs.
It was something that I just like, I worked really hard on but I just never, never got
around to just really nailing it and sounding out the words.
Yeah it was--so did you, did you like my shirt?
Ohhh!
Your shirt!
Yeah!
Yes, it's really, it's really cute.
It's really cute.
Thank you.
Yeah brings back memories.
Not the way to do it.
Now 'A' is important and a little tricky.
You got to make your compliment actually a compliment.
You and I both have brown eyes.
We-we do both have brown eyes.
I'm not sure why you told me that but okay.
It's something we have in common.
So that was more of an observation.
Just an observation.
And not a compliment.
Yeah you're definitely missing like an adjective in there.
Try this on for size: You have dazzling eyes.
Oooohh!
Dazzling!
That's one you don't hear every single day.
I know!
So then 'creepy'.
You want to stay away from creepy gestures like this is really creepy.
No compliment shimmy.
And no need to touch you know.
Don't do an arm rub, like a forearm rub.
That's definitely advanced TACO-ing.
Maybe a few dates in, you can get to some advanced TACO-ing.
But you want to start out with TACO 101.
And then when it comes to 'honest', it's important to be honest--yeah--but again you want to
be careful and not step into that like backhanded compliment.
'I would never think to wear something like that at your size.'
That's not a compliment.
I feel like this one is tricky too.
'Oh you've lost so much weight.'
That's the toughest one.
It's coming from like a really good place and you want to commend them if they've been
trying to lose weight but then for the person receiving that.
That's a really weird one, I personally try to stay away from the weight compliments at
all, because something people don't keep in mind is losing weight isn't always like a
good thing.
Right.
Like maybe you're really stressed out.
So instead of actually saying like, 'You lost weight' or 'You look really thin', 'Something
looks different about you, it looks great though.'
Perfect, it's still honest, it's right to the point, it's an actual compliment, it's
not creepy.
You know what the great thing about the TACO system is?
It not only gives, but it also gives back.
Cause you feel good when you give a good compliment.
There's something really special about seeing someone smile when you give them a nice compliment.
Unless their smile looks like this.
[Laughter].
I just really tried to say something positive about that and I refrained so that I would
be honest and not say anything at all.
And sometimes that's fine too.
We want to know about your best and worst compliments.
So go ahead and tell us in the compliments below.
Bye.
Good-bye.