I feel just sick to my stomach, like I've got food poisoning. That's how it happens
for me. I would sort of see things. Your brain would just distort things. My obsession about
it changed everything... not for the better. Hi, I'm Tim. I'm 29 and I've been dealing with OCD for 21
years. Director: When were you diagnosed with the eating disorder? When I was 24.
Mum said I was always a pretty anxious kid.
The anxiety was terrible. To keep people from dying it would be flicking on light switches,
tapping feet, getting dressed and undressed. It used to take me 45 minutes to get dressed.
It's a rabbit hole, you'll just get stuck. And then you can't really move on until you feel
like that compulsion has been completed to your mind's satisfaction. They weren't sure. They
thought it might be ADHD at one stage but I think they sort of came to the conclusion it was OCD.
My OCD thoughts turned to body image issues when I was 21 years old. The thoughts sort of
came around, I had my 21st with one of my best mates and we got the photos back from that and
I just looked at the photos and I just didn't like what I saw. There was comments about
my body and stuff like that. And I guess cause of my obsessive nature, I kind of
became obsessed about sort of what was said. It spiralled pretty quickly. In a six-month period,
it was noticeable that there something was wrong. Having to go through the thoughts of
eating that meal, I just wouldn't get hungry. And then there was other behaviours, there was
chuck food out when people weren t looking, purging. My brother, he couldn't look at me
I think he ended up crying. Going to a hospital, the psychiatrist kinda said:
"Yeah it's time to come in. Your organs are starting to struggle." The brain fog,
I'd just stand there. Trying to do a crossword, good luck.
Read a book, good luck. All I could do is probably lie down and sleep most of the time.
So I was in different clinics and different day programs during a four year, five year
period. I was the only male. The only male in all of them. It was a very depressing,
a very lonely time. You can have as many people around you. Your support network can be
as great as anything but it's still a lonely lonely journey.
I started on my road to recovery when I was 26. As you learn techniques to help
with your anxiety and you believe that you want to get better, that's the main thing.
You have to want to get better. And I still deal with it. It s not like you come out of a
clinic and you re 100% better. I'll probably fight this for the rest of my life. I don't
think there's a cure for OCD. It's something you manage. Someone explained it to me like
managing diabetes. I wasn't able to work a while, for quite a number of years. But luckily now, I'm
in a healthier body so I currently work for a NDIS company in Newcastle. I can't help other people
if I don't tell my experiences. That's the main reason I want to speak out. So if there's
other men experiencing these issues, I can help them. I get out most weekends playing golf. I'm
about to become an uncle so that's my main priority now. And getting better.