- Hi there, I'm Shea Couleé,
and I'm here with Buzzfeed reading all of my thirst tweets.
(soft music)
Shea Couleé's all stars finale look was gag worthy.
The blue wig, the dress, the beat,
heart eye emoji, heart eye emoji, heart eye emoji.
I'm looking at this tweet, and to be perfectly honest,
not a single lie was detected.
So thank you for coming on Twitter
and being a truth teller because honestly
I go on Twitter to just start fights and lie.
I have to watch the Sasha Velour and Shea Couleé
So Emotional lip sync at least once a day
for a serotonin boost.
I don't really know much about serotonin,
but if that gives you a serotonin boost
then by all means, girl, get yo boost, once a day.
So Emotional. Shea Couleé.
The thing that was going through my head
during that lipsync was 'Damn, I can't believe
this bitch just littered the stage
with all these slippery rose petals'.
(laughing)
Do I need to listen to another podcast?
No. Am I listening to Shea Couleé and Nicole Byers
talk about Top Model anyway? You bet your ass.
Thank you so much for listening
to my brand new podcast, Wanna Be On Top?
A podcast dedicated to the cultural phenomenon
that launched a thousand smizes in America's Next Top Model.
Call me old fashioned, but I was raised to serve
Shea Couleé, cook her meals, and clean her clothes.
I do whatever says, she makes the rules.
She owns me. I am her property.
Her needs come first, and if she cheats, that's on me.
She caught me lacking.
Okay, well please send your resume to gimmeSheaCouleé.com.
I need all these things.
And I do have a lot of clothes, and they do need laundry.
You need to tell me though how you fold your towels
because I'm specific about that,
but if you're willing to learn, then by all means,
send your resume over to me.
If Shea Couleé walked the runway in garbage bags
I would simply defend it
like it was the most stunning look of all time.
And you're right, because on me,
it would be the most stunning look of all time.
Obviously she understands.
Shea Couleé is a drag queen.
Like, she is flawless from head to toe.
She is fashion, she is camp, she gives fish,
and she's a lip-sync assassin.
Shea Couleé is opulence.
I really don't know, like, how thirsty that would be,
but I do love validation, and you gave me a lot there, girl.
So I will take it.
Shea Couleé really been living in my mind rent free
after that iconic walk at the Savage Fenty show.
I know, right? I know.
Thank you for giving me space rent free,
because I'm really not trying to pay additional rent.
I really feel like I'm in the moment in my life
where I'm trying to pay a mortgage.
So if you do have a whole entire house
in which I can mortgage in your head with that walk
then by all means, hit me up, let me know!
World of Shea Couleé presents Shea Couleé's Drag Race
airing exclusively on Shea Couleé, or available
for streaming on Shea Couleé Presents Plus.
Yes, yes, yes.
To all of that, yes.
You can stream Shea Couleé on
Shea Couleé Presents Drag Race, Shea Couleé Excluse,
Shea Couleé Presents Plus.
And it is only $2.99 a month.
I want to Shea Couleé to runway stomp
over my unworthy body.
Fine, if that's what you want.
I will have no problem doing that,
but just tell me what shoes you want me to wear.
I love how we as a community, with all of our differences,
agree that Shea Couleé is really, truly, wholly,
and flawlessly that (beep)
Wow, you know what?
I am a firm believer in community
and I am so proud to belong to a community
that knows that I am that (beep)
Not to be horny on main but how tall is Shea Couleé?
I am 5'9".
But depending on the heels, how high you want them,
girl, I can be 6'4".
Shea Couleé's ass. And she knows it.
I would like to thank macaroni and cheese,
mashed potatoes, dill pickled flavored chips
that you can only get at Whole Foods,
and fried chicken.
Shea Couleé could hit me with her car, reverse,
hit me again, and I would enthusiastically thank her.
Most people would file a lawsuit,
but I appreciate you showing gratitude.
I want Shea Couleé to suffocate me with her boobs.
I don't have boobs.
I couldn't suffocate a mosquito with these, okay?
But I could suffocate you with that ass.
Shea Couleé is one thick b.
Let me see that shussy.
(yelling loudly)
Not with, not with you asking like that.
Shussy? You better shh! Your mouth.
(laughs)
Okay, so this is the very last one.
I love Shea Couleé so much,
I would legit let her stab me to death,
and use my corpse as table.
Um, look, I'm open to a lot of things.
However, murder and human taxidermy
aren't two of the things on my list.
So, I will politely have to decline.
I would be willing to meet you for coffee
in a public place with many witnesses.
So there you go.
Thank you so much for all of your thirst tweets.
I had so much fun with you all at Buzzfeed Today
and remember to catch my new podcast,
Wanna Be On Top, wherever you listen to your podcasts
every Monday and Thursday.
(smacking lips)
(soft music)