zero prizes will be awarded for guessing which category this one goes into but you
know what we're going to explain it bit by bit because it is a trip. it is armor tier
list time again with various costumes suggested by patrons and channel members. This episode is
sponsored by a bad place to be a hero, isn't the cover awesome? More on that later more (on
the contents of the book not the cover you get me) Our rating system goeth thusly: I'd wear it pretty
obvious; pretty good some improvements needed but overall solid; eh fails to rise above mediocrity;
could be worse someone tried just not very successfully; all the way down to everyone's
favourite just stab me now. We also have a category for not actually armour for things
which I have been asked to review but it wouldn't be fair to review them as armour because they're
clearly not meant to be. Got my appropriate merch let's go. Destiny 2 witch queen I'm not sure if
I'm supposed to review the Witch Queen herself or these guys but we're gonna go for both albeit
briefly. the witch Queen armor is absolutely I'd wear it if she's a baddie. She is a baddie right
if she is a baddie then fantastic, if she isn't a baddie this is a huge failure of character design
because they're so many elements which make you go urgh. Like one spikes, two
ugly gaping maw with spiky teeth, Three Strange glowing eyes of which there are three. not very
big eyes either at least in comparison to the rest of her. four bones, five enormous
pauldrons! okay technically these are not a sign of evil but they are really spiky too, and six:
filth. I don't know if you've ever heard the expression cleanliness is Next to Godliness but
a lot of people have a really visceral reaction to stuff that looks like it's dirty does it look like
it smells? does it look like there are bugs? is it just generally unpleasant? do you want
to wash your hands after looking at it? that's the kind of vibe I'm getting here and that Vibe
is generally not associated with nice characters. smelling like Earth or plants or even being muddy
is fine smelling like sewage not so much. anyway like it a lot. also enormous moth wings very cool.
moving on I have no idea who these three are I assume that they are the goodies based on General
design compared to these guys but I could be wrong about that Wikipedia tells me they are Guardians
I would like you to know that I did try and read the summary of Destiny 2 witch Queen on Wikipedia
that did not happen. I also assume that these two are male and this one is female. I think I'm
assuming that based on the shapes as in the one on the right has smoother lines and sort of more
gently curved pieces of armour but I don't know. I also assume that the one on the right is more
stealthy than the other two because the armour looks to be lighter and also there's an outline
obscuring cloak and Hood if you know who these people are do let us know in the comments because
I'm fascinated to know if my initial impression lines up with what they're actually supposed to
convey. I'd definitely wear these two we're gonna bump this guy down to a pretty good because I'm a
little bit concerned about the tightness of his skull helmet I'm wondering if he can breathe or
not but overall they have a definite aesthetic it fits with the world there's a lot going on
but it's not terribly over designed I like them. Next up is this lady from the Last Legion and she
has no helmet I mean I understand why she has no helmet because Aishwarya Rai Bachchan is
very beautiful in the face and you don't want to be covering this up I understand but whatever.
she also looks familiar was she in Bride and Prejudice? [Yesss!] okay I do like that they
decided to put the armour on Under and Over her usual outfit this speaks to me of a character who
is practical who carries her armor around with her in case she has to mix it up but she doesn't wear
it all the time but if she does have to wear it we take off the cloak and the corset thing we put the
armor on we put those two things back on over the top done the corset thing is clearly soft leather
but that works for me because it's obviously meant to be a belt kind of arrangement which is holding
some of the weight of that scale shirt which means I don't really mind that we have an additional
lower slung belt that second belt wouldn't help at all with the distribution of the weight of the
scale shirt but it's useful for carrying weapons so that's fine the scale is very shiny and I do
have a deep soft spot for scale mail even if it's not always the most practical thing the pteruges
are obviously soft and Flappy which isn't ideal but you know what I guess they were going for a
Roman legion kind of vibe the movie is called the last Legion after all right the thing that looks
weird about it is that they're kind of mixing eras of Roman legion armor it's kind of um not really
not really sure I mean I'm not really looking for or expecting his historical accuracy but the
leather pteruges over a metal mail shirt aren't really going to provide any extra protection are
they? really? the point of pteruges is to provide some measure of protection for areas which need
to move a lot which is why you see them at the shoulder and also on the thighs they're generally
made of thick stiff leather but they're also short the fact that Xena used them as a skirt which was
too floppy to be protective but too short to be actually really referred to as anything other
than a mini skirt is really besides the point. the overall look is interesting like they threw
five different design philosophies together and just called it good but it's shiny and fun and I
like it but I would love to give it a pretty good but I think we're gonna have to go for
could be worse because there's so much to like about it and someone clearly tried but it's just
not quite working. While I was writing this I was a little bit worried that my patrons
were just sending me things that they kind of liked that they thought were you know at least
reasonable but then I got to my next request which was Camilla from Fire Emblem oh your kids do spoil
me zero prizes will be awarded for guessing which category this one goes into but you know what
we're going to explain it bit by bit because it is a trip and hopefully an educational one we're
going to start with the thing that stood out to me which is the axe.Now you might be thinking to
yourself "Jill surely there are other things which stood out to you more?" but no we're starting with
the axe because the axe aside from being extremely oversized says to me: this character has to fight
in melee. this isn't like a sexy warlock who can dunk on you from 120 feet away with Eldritch Blast
no she has to fight in melee with that thing. This would still be a daft outfit for a sexy magic user
if only because of the chafing but you could have much more easily got away with cleavage for days
if you hadn't decided to encase her boobs in metal. why. but you know what let's take it
from the top instead of a helmet our character has what looks like metal cat ears okay she also has
tailbone length lavender hair which is just flying around everywhere and I can only imagine the
amount of hairs she is going to individually pull from her scalp when they get caught on various
pieces of that segmenting metal that is another good reason to avoid metal if you're going for
a sexy sorceress kind of design especially if you have the long flowing hair just throwing that out
there. I weep for your scalp Camilla I really do. the Teeny Cape is fine I guess but that and the
random strap between her breasts just just seems to be there to draw attention to the cleavage she
is going to be so very very uncomfortable in what looks like unlined black and gold metal directly
encasing her entire torso. The cuirass is... you know what I really like the black and gold
that's that's nice. it's hilariously low-cut and so tight that she wouldn't be able to breathe but
anyway at least it looks like it's segmented and there is a hip flare at the waist so that
she can bend from side to side so you know what credit where it's due on both of those lower arms
have vambraces on them and the vambraces have big holes in them if you get something caught in that
vambrace by accident you are going to dislocate your elbow or dislocate your shoulder or break
your arm something something really bad could happen there seems to be a lot of segmentation
on the back of her arms which is fine although I mean you don't really need a lot of movement here
but I guess you could continue it down there for extra wrist mobility whatever that's that's fine
and we don't really have gauntlets so much as we have purple gloves but sure dealer's choice?
is that a metal g-string or perhaps a metal thong? metal knickers? Underpants made of metal? honestly
the mind boggles. moving on these giant chunks of metal on her thighs are impractically large I
think and also they're kind of oversized compared to the rest of her outfit I see what they're going
for with the thigh protection but they just remind me of the logo for one of those disgusting energy
drinks I'm not seeing things right this looks like the monster logo. the purple cloth stuff is
fine although she could probably have used some of that on her body rather than as historically
inspired decoration but whatever then we have some leg armour equals stocking stuff going on
again nothing underneath the bare metal which is attached apparently directly to her legs that's
gonna be sweaty some comically oversized poleyns on her knees but whatever at this point and of
course very high heels the shape of the heel isn't actually that bad it looks somewhat Victorian
but it's way too high for doing anything you can get away with it heel of a couple of inches if
you're a cowboy or something but like something like this is just not going to be practical on
the battlefield. The thing that baffles me about this is that clearly the person who
drew it knows something about armour or has at least seen some historical armour sets because
the segmentation and that little flare on the cuirass both say I have seen armour before and
know how it works or at least I've seen armour before and think that this looks cool but overall
wow lady people might be staring at your boobs but they're aiming for your heart and there is nothing
there to stop them. Just stab me now. I'm not quite sure where this picture comes from if it's
the same game and a different outfit or whatever but it definitely says I want to look hot but
intimidating for my ceremonial appearance even if she does have an incongruously maternal expression
on her face this is obviously ceremonial because of the giant cloak and the sceptre and you can't
see the metal underpants and she doesn't have bare upper thighs and given the different context it
just looks less ridiculous still ridiculous but not nearly to the same degree. next Nausicaa I'm
taking as my reference pictures this and also this regular viewers of this channel will be vastly
unsurprised to know that I have neither seen nor read this this is the same problem that I had when
I asked about Doric from Dungeons and Dragons because a lot of people said oh that's Sophia
Lillis who was in Stephen King's It And also I am not okay with this I've never seen the former and
I've never even heard of the latter. the latter is on Netflix so that's probably why, I've kind
of given up on Netflix, I don't have Disney plus now either. But anyway I really like Nausicaa's
flight suit I don't think it counts as actually armour but I think it's really cute unpractical
and and nice I like the colour I like the design I like the sort of helmet thing I like the hat and
I like the goggles. goggles very useful for when you're flying and don't have a windshield I'd wear
it even if it isn't really armour honestly the thing I love about her scale mail shirt is that
it's magic which I know because it it says so right right there that's cool I would also wear
that one because it's it's kind of stealthy it goes on under the rest of her outfits so it's like
a secret magic item I love it before we get on to our last armour set of the day stop me if you've
heard this one before this episode is sponsored by the time a werewolf an Necromancer and a barkeep
had to solve a crime they didn't commit. I guess technically they did commit the mur- well not all
of them committed the murder but there was a murder. You know what the book is a mystery
they have to work these things out. The book is a bad place to be a hero by Jerry F Westinger
and I read it and I loved it. It's fantasy meets noirish murder mystery and it's short and pacy and
it's fun. And if you like it which I hope you there is a sequel as well called a bad time to
meet the family which I'm currently about halfway through links in the pinned comment if you want
to buy a bad place to be a hero to read or listen to highly recommend it. but now my friends I find
that irony is a blade that cuts he who wields it most especially. Xenk the Paladin from Dungeons
and Dragons: Honour among Thieves I mentioned in a previous short that I went to see the movie with
cautious optimism but low expectations but it was actually very fun. CHUBBY DRAGON. Saw the
chubby Dragon immediately thought of my DM just that kind of movie. Xenk is a paladin which means
he wears lots of armour, so much armour, clankity clank many minuses to stealth the armour includes
a muscle cuirass and the armour looks really fun but apparently he couldn't really sit down in it
or perform the moves for his fight scenes very effectively so there's that. The thing is armour
like this is going to be heavier than just wearing regular clothes but there's no reason
that it has to be so restrictive that you can't sit down or move properly. I mean clearly he can
sit on a horse but you know, you should also be able to sit in a chair. I love the very D&D look
of it I love the mail shirt that's underneath fabulous the embroidered blue tunic amazing
and the fact that it slightly looks like it's made of plastic is just completely in keeping
with the tone of the film. Based on looks alone it's a pretty good because that cuirass is clearly
too long and those shoulder pieces just look a little bit... off but given how impractical it
was to where I think we're going to have to bump this one down. And it pains me to do it but we're
probably gonna have to bump it all the way down to could be worse because if you can't move in it
it doesn't really matter how cool it looks. And that's especially true because it didn't need to
be un-sit-downable you could have added some waist segmentation for that cuirass so it just made it a
little bit shorter you could have changed the cut of the armhole so that you could actually swing a
sword properly, you could have changed the design of the pauldron so they covered over what was
going on at the armpits. Someone clearly tried and it looks nice and appropriate for the movie but ah
so close so close. Could be worse actually my friend's act did a whole video on that armour
and how you could slightly redesign it to make it more practical for the person who's wearing
it I will link that in the pinned comment as well if you're interested. This concludes our
romp through armour sets for the day if you want to pick up a copy of a bad place to be a hero
links are in the description and the pinned comment otherwise I will see you next time.