What's this?
It's a quick montage of flashbacks
I've edited together that shows the hundreds of tears
you have cried over the years.
[crying]
Boo! Hoo! Boohoo! Sob. Whimper.
[crying]
Wow, guess I do cry a lot.
[crying]
What's going on? How pathetic.
A man in long pants, crying.
[sniffling]
Mr. Krabs, why aren't you watching the movie?
How can I watch the movie
with all this blubbering going on out here?
[moaning]
Avast there, lad!
You're wasting your valuable tears,
salting me patties with grief.
I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. Oh, I can't even cry right.
You're fired.
[gasping]
No, not that, anything but that.
So, eh, if you could just hand over your spatuler.
Eh... I'll just take that.
[crying]
Here, I'll get that for ya.
[crying]
Uh, I'll also need the hat.
[crying]
Allow me.
[crying]
Go ahead, take a moment to collect yourself.
As long as you need.
[crying]
I'm not a very strong swimmer.
[crying]
Okay, that's enough. It's closing time.
You know, it just won't be the same around here
without you.
You'll have to visit sometime, as a customer.
[crying]
Buh-bye now. Sayonara. Good riddance.
Man, is it gonna be sweet without that pest around.
[whimpering]
[laughing]
My diary!
Squidward, how could you?
[laughing] [crying]
[clucking]
[crying]
[humming] [crying]
[slamming]
I don't wanna grow up. I want cookies.
And milky. I want a sweater with love in the stitches.
I want to wear diapies. I wanna ride in my wagon.
I wanna snuggle wuddle with Mr. Stuffykins.
I wanna rocky rocky my seahorsey.
And I want kissy kissy on my boo boo.
[crying]
Take it easy, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob. SpongeBob.
[crying]
You don't have to be a baby to get old Grandma's love.
I don't?
Of course not.
No matter how grown up you get,
you will always be my little baby boo.
[crying]
There, there, SpongeBob, no need to cry.
Yes, there is, Patrick.
Sandy's been gone for two whole days.
Two whole days?!
[crying]
Oh, why'd she have to go to that science convention
in Tejas?
Tejas! [crying]
She won't be back for one more hour,
26 minutes and 47 seconds.
Oh, 47 seconds!
[crying]
I will never visit you. Never!
[clucking, banging]
Take heart, Squidward, it'll all long be over soon.
Oh, please come over for a visit, Squidward.
It's been so long,
I can't even remember your last visit.
That's probably because I've never visited you.
Please. Please. Please. Please!
Please.
Please. Please. Please. Please, please. Please. Please.
Please. Please! Please.
[door shutting]
Okay, Squidward, maybe some other time.
[cracking]
Ow! I stubbed my toe!
[crying]
[crying] I... I stubbed my toe!
[ripping]
Oh. That was my favorite shirt. [crying]
And that was Asia by Steely Dan.
Next up is Lionel Fishy with his hit, Sad Song.
[music playing]
[crying] It's such a sad song.
[crying]
Gary.
Yeah, I'd like a refund for this Krabby Patty.
Refund? What's wrong with it?
Oh, nothing really, except that it's covered in tears.
What the?
Gary.
SpongeBob, there's customers out there boy waiting to be fed.
This wouldn't be the first time
I disappointed someone who is hungry.
Ah, now where we gonna sleep?
[crying]
[laughing]
You can always live in a hole like that idiot sea star.
Meow?
[laughing]
[crying]
One, two, three.
Spat?
[screaming]
[crying]
Um-hmm. Um-hmm. Go on.
[crying]
[siren blaring]
Well, we'd better get back to work.
Work? How can I go back to work
without... [sniffling]
without Spat?
You! You ruined my free toy!
I'm sorry. Oh, maybe if you just-
[screaming]
[crying]
[screaming]
[crying]
Just keep walking, Squiddy. Don't make eye contact.
[crying]
[groaning]
[sighing] Now to soothe my frayed nerves.
[crying]
Alright, what's going on?! Why are you two crying?!
[crying]
I-I ate... bo-bo-box tops. And then...
I'm waiting. I'm waiting.
And then he came and we're waiting.
We're waiting. And then my toy, and then you and then snap
and then this!
[crying]
[sighing]
Well, SpongeBob, it looks like you won.
[crying]
Wow. What a great show.
Well, at least we're still together, little ones.
[singing]
SpongeBob, you forgot to tell me you were leaving.
Well, Patrick, I... guess this is-
[crying]
I'm gonna miss you, buddy.
Me too, Patrick. Me too.
[crying]
♪ Sun Fun Island You're so fun ♪
♪ Sun Fun Island Here we come ♪
♪ Sun Fun Island You're so great ♪
♪ Sun Fun Island We can't wait ♪
♪ La la-la la la La la-la la la ♪
[crying]
[honking]
[crying]
Oh, Patrick, if I had only known how hard
not saying goodbye could be.
So long, boys.
Have fun, Mr. Krabs. [crying]
Heaven knows, I won't.
[SpongeBob crying]
What have I done?
[SpongeBob crying]
Oh, that's it. This charade has to end.
[sloshing]
[knocking]
Hi, Squidward.
SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to stop.
But Squidward, I- I broke my laugh box.
[crying]
SpongeBob, there's no such thing as a laugh box!
I made the whole thing up.
SpongeBob, you're fired.
Huh?
Fired?
Heh?
SpongeBob?
[whimpering]
[crying]
Wait. Mr. Krabs, it's not his fault.
It's mine.
He tried to tell me but, I- I wouldn't listen.
[crying]
Give him another chance, please.
Hmm.
[crying]
Hi, I'd like to order a Krabby Patty, please.
[crying]
Okay. Can someone else take my order?
[crying]
I'll wait.
You're right, SpongeBob, I don't have a happiest memory.
This is horrible.
Don't worry, Squidward.
I'll help you make a happiest memory.
[sniffles] Really? Do you think you can?
No problem.