What's that term? Astronium.
This term where you know when you're
a little Oh my God, code switch code.
That's it, that's it. Do you find?
I find I'll do that.
I'll walk back and ask, you know,
we have a little conversation
that I walk by my desk and I'm like.
Is that Darius? This is you
know too I say hi everyone.
The day's gonna ohh. We are people I'm
gonna walk past learn and be like girl,
what's good. I'm gonna come past
Alex and say the same thing.
I'm gonna come pass them and mess with
them and I'm going to see Rachel at
5:00 o'clock in the morning or she's
going to be in my ear and I'm gonna
be like mic check 1212 what's good.
And she's gonna respond exactly
like to have someone
that you can do that with just
you be yourself with and.
Not have to feel like you.
Hey Mike, check 1-2. Boom, boom,
boom. Like I can be myself
with her. I can be myself with a lot
of the people who I am with a lot of
my friends who I am with, my family.
And I'm not saying that there is
anything wrong with code switching.
But at the end of the day,
I think you have to think about
the toll that that takes on the
person who has to code switch you,
knowing that you have to walk into
a room and you can't be yourself.
You have to be who this person expects you
to be or who they would want you to be.
I think the safety mechanism
though for us, the whole basis of why code.
Watching exists is just for a white
majority audience to believe that
you know what you're talking about.
You have to say it in a certain way.
We have to look a certain way.
We have to talk a certain way.
We have to. Drive a certain car.
We have to live in a certain area just to
be accepted as deserving or knowledgeable.
I mean me y'all see these ways.
I don't care who you are,
I'm wear my do rag. I walk in here
in the morning with my do rag on,
and I'm the only black person in the
room aside from Jamal and Rachel,
who's gonna say something?
You need me to look a certain way.
This is what it takes for
me to look a certain way.
And I also feel like a little bit like,
damned if you do, damned if you don't.
The same day I got one e-mail
from someone who said, you know,
I just hate the way you talk.
You're so prim and proper.
You're trying to be white.
Like I wish you would be yourself.
The very next e-mail was you are just,
you know, a little too ghetto.
I don't like your slaying.
I wish you would be more professional on air.
Like, so which one is it?
Yeah, exactly.
And I can't.
You can't please everybody.
So All in all I can do is be myself,
you know, and that.
But it took me a long time
to learn that because I used
to get those emails and they
would like hurt me to my core.
There's a
lot of watering yourself
down to be palatable.
And that's what you have to do.
You have to be.
You have to find this line of being.
Staying black enough to
be your authentic self,
but then becoming white enough
for them to be able to digest you.
Just last week I got an e-mail
saying you're so unprofessional.
When is Danielle Grant coming back?
It reminds me that I need to
steer back to my authentic self
instead of this packaged self
that I've worked so hard at.
Because the packaged self
is not always going to win.
Why am I being somebody else?
When that's still not winning,
might as well go back to me.
The textbook definition of code switching
describes changing mannerisms, tone of voice,
or word choice between standard English,
English, or more relaxed slang.
You may have just heard me cold switch
right there on air without even knowing it.
That's how it happens.
Many minorities use this familiarity
amongst their own ethnic groups because
many are afraid of being the one that
sticks out like a sore thumb or commonly
and consistently being labeled as other.
Someone always comments on the way I talk,
whether it's how I pronounce a word.
My accent or I'm too proper,
we often never win,
even when trying to fit in and be
someone who others may want us to
be and not being trying not to be
perceived as too ghetto or a thug.
Absolutely.
I think it's such a good point that you
said it's really impossible to to win.
Like there's always going to be someone
that says something one way or another.
And we're talking about code switching
and a lot of people just do this,
you know, like I talk differently
on air than I do with my friends,
and same with you when you
probably go back to Texas.
But for you guys it's a little bit different.
Yeah, well, yeah. I think just
because I walk into a room with new
people and I don't wanna be a stereotype,
I don't want them to say,
oh, she's gonna be loud.
She's gonna be talking like this.
So then I have to actually, you know,
talk differently and be like,
no, I am educated. I am smart.
I talk. I I'm not loud. I can.
In a situation where other people
might get mad, I have to think
twice about it because I'm like,
I don't want them to think that's
an angry black woman, you know?
I'm gonna be like, OK,
let me just be calm in this situation
until I know the people in the group,
that's all I can do.
I have to ask about the mental health
toll that that could take on it, too.
You know, you're sitting here trying,
you know, to suppress your
identity for so long.
Do you ever feel like you potentially
lose yourself in that altogether?
And think, man,
I I just diminished my culture.
I mean, I'll be honest.
I will say I don't know who I
am at this point. You know,
you go through it for so long and you know,
there are other things that
all compile into that.
But that's one conversation that I
continuously have with my therapist
about not knowing who I am or who
my friends once thought I was or.
Family.
And I think having those authentic
moments when you are around some of
the people who make you feel like you,
it makes you feel good because hey,
maybe that's just two minutes
or 30 seconds out of your day,
but it's that part of your day
that may make you feel good and
make you feel happy and actually
make you feel like you're.
Yourself.
Yeah, absolutely. And the power and
the confidence that grows from when
you show up to a situation and you are
accepted for exactly as you are. Exactly.
You don't have to change.
Yeah. So you guys had this like conversation
very organic conversation where you,
you kind of all just talked right
like and and different subjects came
up and do you feel like because we've
seen some of the promos that have
been running and and a lot of the
the same thing that was said is it's
hard to find community here, right.
When you guys got together in this
room was it very cathartic for you?
Do you feel like, OK,
I have a group, to be honest. Like we
all have seen each other at work,
but that really brought us together.
And that was therapy.
Yeah, it was therapy, free
therapy. And we kind of realized, you know,
we all come from different walks of life,
but we're all experiencing
some of the same things.
And it was great to talk about it
and be open about it because a lot
of people don't talk about race.
And it's kind of a taboo thing.
But like, it's important to talk about
it with people that your same race
and people that are not your race.
Yeah. And I know they're probably
going to wrap us really fast.
I think the other thing was just being
able to be in a space where you don't
talk to these people every single day.
But to be able to hear so many
people say you doing this or you
doing this or me seeing you do
this is what has kept me here.
Or this is what has rooted me in
being able to speak up and be
who I am and realizing at that
moment that it was those real,
authentic moments that I would
have with Rachel and Jamal in the
mornings that kept me grounded.
Absolutely. It's important and
it's important that you bring this
conversation to us and to everybody.
Home and teaching us new vocabulary
that maybe people didn't
know the term code switching.
Yeah. Alright guys,
thank you both for being on. Thank you.