So, what is it, Mr D? What’s the big rush?
Whoever sent the text wants to meet us here. It’s one of the Planet Dolan crew - I know it.
But we haven’t found any of them yet. It’s been months. What makes you think one of
them would just contact you out of the blue? Just a hunch.
See anyone you recognise? Na. But I reckon they’ll be here any second.
So who is it then? Hellbent? That Nixxiom guy? Could be Melissa. Then again I haven’t
heard from my brother in a while… You really do miss them, don’t you?
I cherish EVERYONE from the crew. Well… there is this one guy.
The last time I shook hands with him it took weeks to scrape off the greasy crust.
Ew. It wouldn’t be him though…
These restaurant meals are too fresh - he only eats expired food. And besides, we’d be able
to smell him well before he appears. That’s disgusting. Who is this guy?
Dolan! It’s been a long time. How are you,
my friend? Thank you for coming on such short notice - I understand your time is valuable.
Who is this guy? Grgak!?
…so after the gym stopped being a challenge, I trained with the monks before finishing
my PhD in Forensic Behavioural Science- A PhD? You once tried to eat your own foot
with a knife and fork because it was sore. Mr D! Don’t be rude.
No, no, it’s okay. I’ve matured a lot since you last saw me, Dolan. I even comb my hair now.
Alright, fine. So now that you’re here, do you know where the Planet Dolan crew went? What
happened after you woke up? Well, let’s see…
Are you all ready to order? Yes, hello. So, these two will
have the porterhouse steak- Actually, I-
-and make them both rare. Thank you so much. I’ll eat anything you want me to.
Ew! And for yourself?
Uhh… I’ll have a slice of cheese, actually. C-cheese?
Yes. Single slice. Thank you. I’m not sure… that-
Focus, Grgak. The crew. Where are they? Alright. So. We were all asleep to outlast COVID.
But some of us woke up earlier than others. It was dark, and I couldn’t tell how
long we’d been sleeping for. But I remember thinking it was a
little weird seeing that demon guy stabbed a bunch laying on the floor in a pool of either blood or
tomato sauce. What!?
And then there was that elf man who looks like he listens to My Chemical Romance
or Taking Back Sunday and he had some kind of rat-girl clawing at his back.
Get it off! Get it off me! Foul creature! I admit, I thought it was pretty funny at
the time. And I may have eaten some popcorn to enjoy the show. But that’s when she
grabbed his head and- Everything okay?
Some random woman keeps calling me. Don’t recognise her.
Hmm… So then what happened?
Huh? What happened? In the story! Is Hellbent
alive? Is Nixxiom okay? Where’s Paprika? I’m sorry, Dolan. I don’t know those names
or who you’re talking about. Man - okay. I wonder if they’re going to bring my cheese
soon… it’s just a slice of cheese, come on. Finish the story man, are you serious-?
Just drop it. Grgak’s here now and he’s delicious. Isn’t that enough?
And where were you during all this, Darlink? I thought you were supposed to be watching over
my pod? Grgak - do you know who this is? Hmmm. I don’t know. Some anime girl?
She literally said you guys asked her to watch over me while I was sleeping.
I don’t know what to tell you, Dolan. My apologies, sir. I’ve been told it is not
our policy to sell single slices of cheese. Ugh - that’s okay. Bring me a
cheeseburger instead please. Hold the buns. Hold the meat. Hold
the pickle. Hold the sauce. Uh - sir-
If you are incapable of supplying cheese, then bring me milk and I’ll pasteurize it myself.
You know… you’re welcome to have some of mine. (ew) Uh… thanks.
What about Melissa? Where is she? Who?
Come on, now. My co-star? The bird? (laughs) A bird? Are you feeling okay, Dolan?
He hasn’t had his brain juice today. Here. Woah, woah, hey. She makes you drink this stuff?
Like, every day? That can’t be good for you. Excuse me?
Sir. Is it true you harassed my staff? I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave-
...leave - leave the restaurant…- GRGAK: “Do you mind if I
indulge in a snack while I wait? So if you don’t really know where anyone is,
why did you text me to meet you here? Yes, of course. Straight
down to business, ey Dolan? Hello, child. Please stop crying. Look.
Do you want to see a magic trick? Grgak! Tell me.
I want to discuss that retro video game you made. You know the one. Dolan Kart.
Retro? It’s only 5 years old! So anyway, I made a hack I call
Grgak Attack and instead of driving karts, you use the touch screen to massage my oiled-up body.
And look - sometimes when you’re playing, the dancing baby from 1998 will appear.
Okay. So what? Do you… think you could sell it for me?
…No. Here. We found some cheese,
sir. Now please take it and go. Get that filth away from me.
I trained my body for YOU, Dolan. I put on my fanciest clothes and acted nice today for
YOU - to prove I’m a changed man! Is there something you’d like to
say to the girl you terrorized? You better believe it. I am SORRY
for bringing something beautiful into this world. I am SORRY none of you have the refined
taste I’ve come to expect from a civilised society. I am SORRY that all of you were born!
Are you done? Yes, budget Miku, I am DONE.
It was absolutely lovely to see you both and I had a really good time. If you reach under your chairs
you’ll find a special gift. Goodbye to you both. You know. It’s a shame we still haven’t found
anyone from Planet Dolan. Nope. Not a single person.
I just realised something sad. What?
He didn’t pay for our meals. Not a single person…