- So today we are figuring out who is pettiest, more petty.
Whose more petty, me or you?
Me or her?
- I think me, they don't call me
Petticia Rodriguez for nothing.
- Damn, that's good.
I hate you for that, dang it!
Anyway, stop.
We're going to have a giggle attack.
(high pitched squeaking)
Today we are taking a Buzzfeed quiz called
"How Petty are you?"
- Are you sending me the link?
And then you're taking it too,
or are we gonna take it together?
- I sent you the link.
Yeah, we're taking it together.
- Where did you send the, oh.
(laughing)
- First one says "Mimicked someone
"when you had no other comeback."
- Yeah, I would say yes.
Like "you smell", you smell.
Yeah, for sure.
- A lot of these things I've done as a joke.
(suspenseful music)
- Said the phrase "I just think it's funny how..."
Ah, that is gold!
- I know you guys see me and Curly.
We're like really good friends, like best friends.
Best friends (in Spanish)
- Uh huh, when were amigas.
- That got me,
I got myself. - You got yourself.
- Curly and I have had some fights.
That's why we're closer,
is because we've had those really tough talks
and we have said this to each other.
I just think it's funny how. - I just think it's funny how.
- You can say this.
- It's just delicious.
- So yes, click.
Said "Why don't you ask (insert name of person),
"you've been liking all their pictures."
- Oh, all the time.
All the time.
- Go ask him to rub your feet.
Go ask him to shave your back.
- So why don't you just marry him then.
I've definitely said that, but again, like jokey, you know.
(suspenseful music)
- Have you used the phrase "I don't know her."
When you actually know her.
Yes.
- Yes.
Said something like, "Well on March 1st, 2014, you said..."
in an argument.
- Absolutely.
I'm a Virgo.
I literally will keep tabs on everything
anybody has ever said.
- I'm an Aries.
It only honestly matters to me for like 10 minutes
and then I'll completely forget it
and be like, "I love you."
- "Thought of another point after an argument has finished,
"so started it again so you can say it."
No, because I'm so petty that I have my points lined up
before I start my argument.
So I'm like, ehm.
But also if you're furthermore in your arguments,
this is amateur stuff.
You should have a list of things that you're ready to say
before you get to the argument.
- Well, I'm not a Virgo, so.
I forget things.
- "Turned your "read" notifications on so someone
"knows you're ignoring them."
Ah, I thought I was the only one that did this.
- You know what, I never thought to do that
until you told me about that.
- Yesterday.
- That was like, that's actually a good idea.
- Yeah, you turn on those
read notifications. - See look where I'm learning.
I have not done this.
Will I in the future, I don't know.
- "Used "K" when you were mad."
Also amateur move, no.
(laughing)
I just saw you saying yeah.
- I have.
How else are they supposed to know that I'm mad.
I tell them, I tell them with words?
- Yes, you are telling them that you're mad
by using the word "K".
- That's all I need to say and that's all you need to know,
but like on the opposite end when I'm receiving it,
it makes me angry, and I'm like
how petty of them to reply with "K" to me?
- A "K" is a giveaway that I'm mad.
So for me, it's just easier
to just turn the read receipts on.
"Blocked someone's number when they pissed you off."
Oh yes, chef's kiss.
- No, that is serious to me.
What if they're trying to message me "sorry".
- Apologize to someone who cares, boo.
- I care, I want you to apologize to me.
- I will block them after we have had the argument
and we have kind of come to a place where I'm like,
I now need to heal and I now need to move on.
"Tweeted something, hoping a particular person
would see and get mad."
Duh.
- I am the CEO of sub-tweeting, okay.
My entire brand is a subtweet.
(laughing)
- "Screenshotted everything so you had
"receipts for future use."
Yep.
- Yes, that is not being petty.
That is being smart.
- Exactly. - It's 2020.
- It's being Smetty.
"Brought up something from the past
"because you're losing an argument."
No.
- No. - Low blow,
but actually Imma say yes.
(laughing)
As I was saying it, I was like (beep).
You stay bringing (beep) up from the past.
- Yeah, I was like, I'm going to let him
work this out himself.
- I'm crying.
"They posted an unnecessary photo with a boy
"to make your ex jealous."
Yep.
- Oh.
Yeah, it's mostly like (beep).
- Don't give up your secrets.
You should--
We'll bleep that. - Oh no, nevermind
We're gonna cut that.
We're bleeping that, I'm bleeping all of that.
- "Held a grudge for too long even when you knew
"the bigger thing to do would be to move on."
No, that's toxic for your spirit and yourself to do that.
Nah, I'm like, what's the point of holding a grudge?
I'd rather just talk it out.
- "Know that nobody can be pettier than you
"because you're the petty champ."
No.
- No, I don't want to be petty,
but if you put me in the situation.
You know what I always say, I am a mirror.
And so I give back what you give it.
Is that how you say that?
- And now we're going to see the results.
Who is pettier, me or Curly.
Are you ready?
- Yes.
- Survey says, what does your results say?
- "You checked 24 out of 35 on this list.
"Petty as fuck, 80% petty."
(laughing)
- Maybe I was petty and checked some things
that I lied about.
Or did it check the things I should have?
"17 out of 35, petty when necessary, 54%."
- Wow.
- That makes sense though, right?
- Well I mean, look,
I am not proud of this. - No, so no.
I'm not proud of being petty and I'm not petty all the time,
but I think that when I am, I'm good at it.
- Being petty should not be confused with being toxic.
And I think it's very important if you have an issue
with someone, go directly to them.
Being passive aggressive is not great.
It's not healthy and you're not better than us
if you don't think you're petty.
I think it makes us a little,
gives us a little character.
- I will say, use it with caution.
- Use pettiness when it is necessary.
Curly, thank you for being on my show.
Petty quiz, my one time show.
My nose is running.
Oh, I had a moco on my nose.
Oh no, you guys.
If you saw the moco on my nose the entire time,
that's a treat for you.
(laughing)
- Oh my god.
(Cheerful music)