(person gasping)
(chill music)
- Okay, very simple list.
Bananas, mascara, dish soap.
I'm gonna fold it and put it in my little cross body bag.
And honey, this is gonna be so great.
It's gonna be like our walk
that we go through their neighborhood.
Except this is like my neighborhood.
Come on, I'm home.
(wife laughs)
Come on.
No, come on.
Also, honey, this is not a trip to go look
at ultra 4K televisions.
This is just for three things, okay?
Hmm.
Can you believe they're selling this in a Target?
"Cocaine Bear"? Really?
Like so inappropriate. (sighs)
Ooh, "Magic Mike" three film collection.
It's dancing.
It's, you know that I was a dancer growing up.
This is dancing and it's free expression
of your rock hard body.
Do we know what baby that we could buy this for?
There's strollers everywhere.
We could just kind of throw these
at people as they walk by in the strollers.
We need a good self-help book.
We've only got 13 of them on my bedside table.
Brene Brown.
We don't have this one yet.
I could wait until it comes...
- [Wife] I do have that one.
(both laugh)
- Here's a new novel.
"Book Lovers".
Just open to a random page.
Oh, lot of mommy daddy time.
I'll read this after I finish the "Magic Mike" Trilogy.
(wife laughs)
Bananas, dish soap, and mascara.
We're not buying frivolous frivolities.
Oh this is fun.
These are fun.
This is fun.
Oh, wow.
Honey, you know how like I'm constantly complaining
about my neck hurting because of all the TikTok that I watch
before I go to bed?
Like hours and hours and hours.
- [Wife] Not hours.
- It's a neck thing that you wear around your head
so that you can watch TikTok
- [Wife] No.
- While you go to sleep
and instead of like watching it for 15 minutes
I bet I could get up to like three or four hours with this
without any neck or back pain.
Look, it says "beleaf" in yourself instead of believe.
And I "beleaf" that this is going in my cart.
This looks so much like the shirt that you wore
on our first date.
Remember you were trying so hard.
You like were sweaty and a little nervous and awkward
and we hooked up anyway, but that was nice.
(wife laughs)
I know that I have several of these journals
but this one right here is going to fundamentally
change my personality.
Well, maybe this one too.
'Cause this one's embroidered.
This one looks like something
that Lola might wanna write on.
- [Wife] A journal really does fix everything.
- Well, it does.
It fundamentally changes your personality
by writing things on a piece of paper.
(journals clatter)
And I know we have a lot of throw pillows
but I'm thinking like these are so affordable right now.
We could get these.
We just have to repaint the walls and that's to...
'cause the walls obviously need to match the pillows.
Oh, it's my favorite place.
(exhales) Hello, beautiful.
I think the key is to see how this gets along
with the other water bottles.
Put you next to your little sister
and see if you guys get along.
Yeah, that looks good together.
Okay. A wellbeing boost.
So you put this in your garden
and it fundamentally changes your personality
and your wellbeing.
It boosts it.
Honey, this is the year that I become the gardener
that I know that I can be.
I know it's been a little rough.
I don't think we have the best soil.
I'll be honest with you.
I know that most of our plants die.
It's okay.
So, but I think we can make this work
with like one of these vintage water, um, pots
and also three different types of rakes.
Papa Bear, mama Bear, baby Bear.
Rakes. It's gonna be the year.
Is it just me or has Clue gotten really hot?
Wow, Colonel Mustard is a zaddy, right?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We cannot go past this.
Look how tiny they are.
- [Wife] I don't smell them.
(person humming lullaby)
Okay, psycho.
- Oh boy.
This is very triggering.
These were the bane of my existence
and I still hear the beat in my head.
(person imitating machine)
Honey, I found my summer uniform, just one of each.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday
Sunday.
That was so fun.
Oh, you know what?
I didn't buy the dish soap or the mascara or the bananas.
Okay, going back in.
(wife laughs)
- What you saw here was an exaggeration, sort of.
But I do feel like there's a lot to explore
and you should not rush your experience
or be limited by a list, you know?
And if you forget what's on the list
you just come back.
Love you, Target.
This is the future.
- It's so close to your... (laughs)
This can't be what it is, right?
- I think that like at night, maybe when you're like in bed.
- It's gotta go farther away.
So you're like laying down and you're...
- Aggressively double chilling.
The fact that this is even made
and sold just says a lot about where we are.
Just...
- That's about how close it is to your face
when you watch TikTok at night.
'Cause your glasses are off.
- I know, I am.
This will make my evening routine even more fun.
I'm just gonna walk through the house like this, doing this.
Okay. Bye, guys.
- Oh, honey, how much do you love
going through the kiddie books?
From I, I know we don't have kids
but doesn't this just remind you of home?
- [Wife] We do have kids.
- Oh, sorry.
(both laugh)
We do have kids.
We don't have babies.
That's what I meant to say.
- [Wife] We do.
- We do?
Tell me about them.
(gasps) Ow.
- [Wife] Are you okay?
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