A Macca-baby's gotta do what a Macca-baby's gotta do.
Oh, no.
He was a brave leader.
And he led his people in daring raids
against the more powerful armies of the evil king.
March!
[army battalion screaming]
Mom, can you come help me in the kitchen?
Well, I suppose I should help Didi with the latkes.
Latkes? Oi, I love this holiday.
Angelica, what's Hanukkah?
Hanukkah is that special time of year between Christmas
and misgiving when all the bestest holiday shows are on TV.
Now get out of my way.
It's almost time for...
Da-da-da-da da-da!
The Cynthia Christmas Extraganza Special!
The tide has turned, you paskudnyak.
My people will not follow your evil ways!
[crowd laughing]
That's it. You and me, old man. Right now.
[both groaning]
Okay, I'm lost.
I had no idea Hanukkah was so interesting.
Aye-yai-yai.
You're the one with the elders bragging.
My children this. My grandchildren that.
On and on.
You'd be proud of your children too, if you had any.
But now, you're too busy with your fancy pants business deal.
[gasping]
Is that what you think?
That's what you said.
So sue me, I lied.
Sadie and I, may she rest in peace, but never blessed me children.
All I had was my fancy pants business, Mr. Knows So Much.
So now you know.
Here.
I've got no-one to share a tradition with anyway.
What's going on?
One minute I'm trying to go home, and the next thing,
I'm up to my dentures in kindalak.
[crying]
[groaning]
There, there, there ta-ta-la.
Here, they want you to read a story. Come, come.
You're the grandfather. You read it.
No, no, no. He wants you.
Go on, read.
Read.
Long ago, in the land of--
No, no, no. They already heard that part. Here.
Fine.
And so against all odds, Judas Maccabeus won the right
for his people to live and learn in the way of their forefathers.
Go on.
But after the war...
The people of Israel had a difficult task.
Though Antiochus had been driven from the land,
he had left their cities and their holy temple in a terrible mess.
Wow, this is worser than our room, huh Lillian?
I don't know, Phillip. I can still see the floor.
Hey look Tommy, it's that thingy from the top of your TV.
Yeah, but it's all broked up.
I didn't do it.
And the beautiful menorah,
which was supposed to burn forever was broken.
And it's flame, put out.
Shlomo, they don't know what a menorah is.
A menorah is like the night light of our people.
In times of darkness it shines on the whole world,
reminding us not to be afraid to be different, but to be proud who we are.
Hey, that's not bad, cookie. You just make that up?
I'm winging it here. Give me a break.
Your Uncle Shlomo is right.
It's like the night light of our people.
And it was filled with oil.
That makes it burn. Some people use candles.
So, the people repaired their temple,
but the Greeks had left only enough oil
to burn in the menorah for one night.
But they lit the menorah anyway.
What are we gonna do? It'll take eight days to make more oil.
What they needed was a miracle.
Yeah, a mirable, whatever that is.
That's when something good happens that you thought could never happen.
Well, that'll never happen.
But one day went by, and then another, and another.
Until finally, the eight days had passed and the flame was still burning.
And to this day, we light the menorah every year
to remember the miracle of Hanukkah.
[snoring]
[laughing]