Hey there! Are you worried about the
future? Concerned about the uncertainty
of what lies ahead? Well look, nobody
knows the future. Ever! But these are
particularly uncertain times and in this
video I want to talk about how we find
the peace within ourselves—how you can
find the peace within yourself—in
uncertain times like these; and by the
end of this video you'll know how you
can function and be calm and confident
amid the uncertainty. And hang around to
the end because I've got an offer of a
free tutorial that I think will be of
massive value to you.
[Music]
Now my name is Steve and I coach
professional people like you to combine
personal excellence with unshakable
emotional wellness, so for the best ideas
and practices in that theme then please
subscribe to the channel and click the
bell so that you'll know when new
content arrives. What I'm gonna share
in this video is stuff that helped me
access a way of being where I can
acknowledge my fears and not be owned by
them, so I could be aware of the
insecurities of life but still function
and be at peace anyway, because this
isn't about burying your head in the
sand and pretending that your fears and
insecurities don't exist. This is about
finding a way of coexisting with them
and being functional and peaceful anyway.
I also do this work today with my
clients in one-to-one coaching and also
in my group programs like Success with
Wellness, so as well as experiencing this
I see it in other people too. The
first idea that I want to convey is to
stop looking for security in the
external world because it's not really
there, not in an absolute sense, anyway,
not absolute security. WHAT? I
thought you were gonna say something
useful!! I know what you're thinking! Don't
worry I am, but really there is no way to
be absolutely safe from everything that
could go wrong in the world. The best we
can do is take mitigating actions and
build buffers, but there's really nothing
that we can do to be absolutely safe, so
if we're going to learn to be at peace
we must do it accepting that we don't
know what the future holds, and relaxing
into the not knowing. And that points at
spiritual work more than it points at
building fortresses in the world.
Point two is it's not really the world
that we're afraid of but the thinking we
have about the world. This is the game
changer to really see this, and this
can't just be conceptual, you have to
experience this. In order to be afraid of
the future we have to go into our head
and create an imagination of that future
and that's what we'll get scared of
of confident about. Let me put it
this way. Imagine just for sake of
argument that you were the kind of
person who was afraid of spiders.
I'll go through four scenarios with you.
One is there is a spider in the room and
you know it. Do you get scared?
Yes you do. Scenario number two is there is
a spider in the room but you've got no
idea it's there. Do you get scared? No you
don't. The third scenario is there isn't
a spider in the room and you know there
isn't a spider in the room. Do you get
scared? No you don't. But the fourth
scenario is there isn't actually a
spider in the room but you think there
is. Do you get scared? Yes you do. When
you look at that, what that points at is
that the common factor in getting scared
isn't actually whether there's a spider
in the room, it's whether you think there
is! By the way I'd love to know how you
deal with uncertainty. If you're okay
with sharing please leave a comment. I
will read every comment that's left and
I'll reply to as many as I can. Now point
three is to get present in the here and
now. When we experience fear we are
responding to fearful thinking that
we're creating about the future and the
obvious conclusion to that is to think
different thoughts or to try and control
our thoughts, to imagine futures where we
are coping rather than futures where we
aren't. Well that's true it would be
better, but there's something even better
than that, and that is instead of trying
to control our thoughts or change what
we're thinking is simply to see that
they ARE just thoughts, to see that
they're not what's really happening in
this moment and to get present in the
here and now. One of the most grounding
things I've ever learned was that this
moment is the only moment we have any
guarantee of. The ONLY one! So the only
decision really is how do I make the
best use of this moment. Learn to see
your thoughts as just thoughts, learn to
get present in this moment, and that will
help you relax into not knowing and
being functional in the present.
Point number four is to act from love.
Well that's a bit touchy-feely right?
But seriously, one of the most grounding
things I know is to act from love rather
than fear. Everything that we do that's
positive is an act of love for someone
or something, in some way, even if it's
two or three links of causality down the
line. If I do a job for money for example,
ultimately that's out of love for the
people that I provide for. If I serve a
customer that's out of wanting well for
them. So make the connection in the
things that you choose to do. Make the
connection between that and the way that
it's expressing love to someone or
something. Tip number five is to look
into what you fear. What we're really
afraid of isn't that things will go
wrong, it's that we won't cope if they do,
and again in order to have that fear we
have to go into our heads we have to
create an imaginary future where we're
not coping and get afraid of that, so it
is actually useful to look into the
scenarios that we fear to actually ask
ourselves what might happen that I'm
afraid of, and look into that, and look
into what choices you would have if that
thing actually happened. This is like
shining a torch into the darkness, so you
might think, well, one of the things I'm
afraid of is that I might run out of
money, so ask yourself the question, well
let's look into the future, let's say you
are running short of money, what would
you actually do if that happened? You
will find a way forward! You will find
options! Using the GROW model, which is
the goal, reality of present state,
options, and ways forward, which again is
in a video I'll link up here, is a great
way of coming up with options or ways
forward for possible future scenarios.
And as I said this is illuminating, this
does shine at torch into the darkness
and it can take the fear out of the
things that were afraid of. Now, if you'd
like to explore how we could create
results together then please let's talk.
I'd love to hear from you and you'll find my
contact details in the pin comment below
this video. And please like this video if
you did like it, it helps other people
see it.
Please share it if you think other
people will be served by it, and don't
forget to subscribe to the channel. I
mentioned the offer of a free tutorial
that I think will be of massive value to
you. If you go down to the pinned comment
below this video you will find a link at
which you can access my free tutorial:
Mastering your composure in
conflict, pressure and stress in the
moment. Please help yourself, it's
absolutely free! And other than that I'll
see you next week!