>> James: WELCOME BACK. STAND-UP COMEDIAN AND WE'RE
HONORED SHE'S CHOSEN OUR SHOW TO MAKE HER LATE NIGHT DEBUT.
HER HILARIOUS PODCAST, "SHOOTERS GOTTA SHOOT" IS AVAILABLE NOW.
PLEASE WELCOME, THE WONDERFUL, ERICA SPERA!
(
OH MY GOSH, THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH, I'M SO EXCITED TO BE HERE.
I RECENTLY TURNED 30. YEAH, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW
THIS, THOUGH, IF YOU ARE 30 AND SINGLE AS A WOMAN, THAT IS WHEN
STRANGERS JUST START GIVING YOU DATING ADVICE.
YEAH, EVERYBODY GETS NERVOUS. YOU KNOW.
MY FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE I'VE GOT EVERYONE RECENTLY IS SOMEONE
TOLD ME I SHOULD DATE OLDER MEN, YOU HAVE TO DATE OLDER, OLDER
GUYS ARE MORE MATURE AND MORE LIKELY TO WANT TO SETTLE DOWN
AND I'M HERE TO REPORT BACK THAT THEY ARE NOT MORE MATURE.
NO, THEY ARE JUST TIRED, THAT'S IT.
YEAH, THEY DON'T HIT YOU UP AT 2 A.M. BECAUSE THEY JUST FELL
ASLEEP. THEY'RE IN BED AT 10.
I'VE NEVER REALLY DATED OUTSIDE OF MY AGE RANGE TO BE HONEST BUT
I'M IF THE AGAINST IT, ALL RIGHT.
MY NUMBER ONE RULE IS IS THOUGH IF I'M GOING TO DATE AN OLDER
MAN, YOU HAVE TO BE HOTTER THAN MY DAD.
YEAH. (APPLAUSE)
YEAH, HE'S NOT EVEN HOT BUT THAT IS MY BAR, YOU KNOW.
THAT IS MY NEW MESH SEURING STICK, IF ME, YOU AND MY FATHER
WALKED INTO A RESTAURANT T NEEDS TO BE VERY CLEAR WHO I AM HAVING
SEX WITH. THAT IS JUST FOR MY OWN SANITY,
YOU KNOW. BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF PLUS
SIDES TO DATING OLDER GUYS, I WILL ADMIT, LIKE FOR EXAMPLE YOU
NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THEM CHEATING ON YOU BECAUSE YOU CAN
READ THEIR PHONE FROM ACROSS THE ROOM.
AND THEY NEVER LOCK IT, THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO LOCK IT
EITHER, IT'S OPEN, YOU KNOW. YEAH, I ALSO LIKE THAT OLDER
GUYS ARE A LITTLE MORE OLD SCHOOL, BECAUSE I WANT THE GUY I
DATE TO BE A FEMINIST BUT ONLY FOR ME.
YEAH, I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE POINTS OF A RELATIONSHIP.
LIKE HEY, WE ARE ON A TEAM AND THAT MEANS WE DON'T ROOT FOR
NIBBLES. YEAH, IF MY MAN CAME HOME FROM
WORK AND HE WAS LIKE OH, HONEY, I JUST HAD A LONG DAY, OKAY, ARE
YOU NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS BUT CHERYL WAS GETTING NO
RESPECT. LIKE PEOPLE KEPT TALKING OVER
HERE, THEY KEPT INTERRUPTING HER, EVENTS ALLLY HAD TO STICK
UP FOR HER AND SAY SOMETHING. DO YOU THINK MY REACTION WOULD
BE LIKE OH, BABE, I AM PROUD OF YOU.
NO, I WOULD LOOK LIKE YEAH, WHO IS CHERYL?
YEAH, WHY ARE YOU SAYING ANYTHING?
I DON'T KNOW MAYBE NEXT TIME CHERYL HAS A PROBLEM YOU CAN SAY
LIKE GET YOUR OWN MAN, OKAY. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO DATE MORE
THOUGH. HAVE I BEEN ONLINE DATING FOR
YEARS ANDYIN ALL MY YEARS OF TRYING THIS IS WHAT I HAVE
LEARNED. I LEARNED THAT MEN DON'T READ
ANYTHING THAT YOU WRITE ON YOUR PROFILE.
DO YOU KNOW THAT. THEY DON'T CARE.
YOU JUST NEED TWO PICTURES. ONE OF YOUR FACE, ONE OF YOUR
BODY, THEY WILL MAKE A DECISION. AND I PROVE THIS TO BE TRUE
BECAUSE I LITERALLY PUT ON MY PROFILE THAT I HAD HERPEST.
YEAH. NOT ONE MAN SAW IT.
NOT ONE. YEAH, I STILL GOT MATCHES,
NOBODY WOULD SAY ANYTHING, RIGHT.
WE WOULD BE TALKING. AND I WOULD BE LIKE DID YOU READ
MY PROFILE. THEY WERE LIKE NO, WHY.
>> AND THEN THEY WOULD COME BACK LIKE OH, OKAY.
ARE YOU ACTUALLY 5, 11 OR IS THAT LIKE IN HEELS.
YOU KNOW. BUT I WILL BE HONEST WITH YOU, I
ACTUALLY PUT THAT ON MY PROFILE BECAUSE DO I HAVE HERPES.
YEAH. WHICH LISTEN, WHEN I FIRST GOT
TI WAS TERRIFIED, RIGHT, OH MY GOD, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO AND
NOW THAT I HAVE HAD TO T FOR A FEW YEARS I'M LIKE THIS IS
NOTHING. ST NOT A BIG DEAL AT ALL,
GETTING HERPES IS ACTUALLY JUST LIKE GETTING THE CHICKEN POX.
LIKE YOU GET SOL BUMPS, YOU TAKE SOME MEDICINE AND THEN IT GOES
AWAY. AND THAT'S IT.
NEVER REALLY COMES BACK T JUST LIVESIN YOUR SYSTEM FOREVER,
YOU KNOW. WELL, EXCEPT UNLIKE THE CHICKEN
POX YOU GET HERPES YOUR MOM IS NOT LIKE OH, ALL RIGHT, WE'LL GO
GET YOUR BROTHER AND SISTER IN HERE AND EVERYBODY JUST GET IT
AT THE SAME TIME. (APPLAUSE)
YEAH. I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS
TWO MORE TIMES. SO.
I WILL SAY THIS, ONE GOOD THING ABOUT HAVING IT, IT HAS MADE ME
LESS JUDGMENTAL OF OTHER PEOPLE, MADE ME MORE OPEN MINDED AN
DATED PEOPLE MAYBE I WOULDN'T DATE BEFORE, RECENTLY I WENT ON
A FEW DATES WITH SOMEONE WHO HAD A KID.
YEAH. BUT WHEN I TOLD HIM I HAD HERPES
HE FREAKED OUT AND JUST IMMEDIATELY SAID I CAN'T DO.
THIS HAVE I A SON. I WAS LIKE, YEAH, MAN, THAT IS
WAY WORSE THAN MY THING. NOT EVEN CLOSE.
(APPLAUSE) RIGHT?
I'M THE FUN ONE IN THE RELATIONSHIP.
I'M NOT THE ONE WHO IS LIKE SHH, MY HERPES IS UPSTAIRS SLEEPING,
TURN THE VOLUME DOWN, PUT THE SUB TITLES ON.
ANYWAY, THAT IS IT FOR ME. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I'M ERICA SPERA. (APPLAUSE).
>> James: WHAT ABOUT THAT. THAT WAS SO GOOD.
>> THANK YOU. >> James: ERICA SPERRA
EVERYBODY. HER PODCAST, IS SHOOTING NOW
RIGHT COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY.