Us only children have had to put up with a lot of stereotypes.
That we are...
Over 100 years ago, a child psychologist,
Granville Stanley Hall, fuelled these stereotypes when he said...
Since then researchers have found out
there isn't much difference between only children and everyone else.
But some of that bias against only children still exists.
Sometimes people tell me, "You must be an only child," because I'm used to getting what I want.
People tend to think that only children are spoiled and I'm an only child and yes, I was spoiled
but not with things, I was spoiled with love and I'm trying to spoil this one with love too.
People think my attitude is because I'm an only child.
And the thing I hear the most?
"Oh, you don't seem like an only child."
I've come to one of the countries in the European Union
where you're most likely to find an only child.
Portugal!
59% of families with children under 18 in Portugal have one child
compared to an EU average of 47%.
Hello, I'm Sofia I am an only child
and this is my daughter.
And I'm an only child too.
I always thought about having at least two children.
It was a boy and a girl, that's what I wanted.
Then came Diana and I was thinking about having another child
in two years or something like that.
But my marriage didn't go very well.
Time went by.
I was working late every day.
I had no hours to get home.
So I thought that it wouldn't be a good idea
to bring a child into this world and not be able to be with her or with him.
It wouldn't be fair.
So...
And you already had me.
Yes, I already had Diana.
Diana is starting to think about having children herself.
I'm just going to come a little bit closer.
Don't come too close.
You know I'm 31.
So, yeah of course, I don't want my family to stop here.
She has to have at least one, you know.
I'm working on that!
Couples, they see how difficult and how hard it is
to raise a child here in Portugal.
So why is it difficult to raise a child in Portugal?
It's expensive.
It's expensive to have children here
and we don't have a lot of support,
financial support.
So what happens in a place where parents get lots of government support?
Hello.
This country is often called one of the best places
in the world to be a parent.
This is Sweden.
And Sweden is one of the places in the EU where only children are least common.
Here only 39% of families with children have one child, well below Portugal and the EU average.
And maybe that's something to do with Sweden's...
So given all this, why would someone have an only child in Sweden?
Hey, my name is Therese and this is Amelie.
And you're four aren't you?
Yes.
Could you show us?
Four.
And we live in Stockholm, Sweden.
Therese’s decision to have an only child was easy for her, but strangely not for other people.
I've never had so many reactions as to when I told people I just wanted one child,
especially when I was pregnant.
People were offended almost.
So Sweden is one of the places in the EU with the lowest rate of only children.
Why do you think that is?
Because it's just so easy to have kids here.
We hardly pay anything for kindergarten,
it's easy to get time off when they're sick
and also I would say that it has become a thing,
people used to get two kids and now I see a trend where people get three kids.
So three is the new two.
In a country where both government and society seem to favour having more than one kid,
I'm interested to know why Therese feels so strongly that she just wants one.
To me, to have one kid, it's a lifestyle choice I would say.
Because it gives me the opportunity to do
everything I want in my life.
You never find yourself thinking, "Oh, I wish I'd had more"?
No!
Oh that really came from the heart. You look almost scared.
That really came from the heart.
I'm sorry.
No, no, no, that's fine.
It's perfect the way it is. Why change it?
From sunny Stockholm and Lisbon to rainy Dorset, here in the UK.
I grew up here, and it has always just been...
And I’ve come back to get an answer to a question that I’ve been wondering about my whole life.
Oh, that is so sweet. Look at you.
I think I look like Dad in that photo.
Yes, yes you do.
So that's when you started walking.
This is all big stuff actually.
Why am I an only child? Why did you not have any more?
When you were about three, we were starting to think of having a second child.
And at that time, I was made redundant.
And so financially, we were under pressure.
And we just didn't feel it appropriate to bring another
child into the world when we were financially stretched
and also in an environment which we were quite stressed.
I had to put much more time and effort into my business
rebuilding it into a level where it was bringing in income, proper income.
While I could have had another child,
I wouldn't have been the mother to that child
that I wanted to be and that I had been to you.
Are you ever sad that that happened?
Do you ever regret the fact that you didn't have any more?
Personally, yeah, it's something I think about from time to time
but then I also think about the fact that you've been such a lovely girl
and it's been such a wonderful time so far
that how could we have had a better time?
And I think, I mean we often talk about this,
is we don't like change. Yeah.
And you know, we were quite happy toddling along
in our own little way as a threesome.
Terrible creatures of habit.
All three of us.