- [Mike] Internet, it's good to see you again,
I've missed you, and I'm Mike Kelton.
And I heard "Laurel".
And if you guys heard "Yanny"...what?
This is "The Week's Receipts",
and if that first part confused you,
don't worry, I'll fill you in.
And I can't promise you won't still be confused,
'cause honestly guys, it's very confusing.
(bright music)
Okay guys, this story is confusing.
You all know the Royal wedding is happening this weekend,
and everything is in place, but still the big question.
Is Thomas Markle walking his daughter down the aisle?
Earlier this week, no.
Then later this week, yes.
Then on Thursday,
with an official statement from Kensington Palace,
he will not walk her down the aisle.
Well, Tom, if there's a wedding not to miss,
I think it's the Royal wedding,
where your daughter's the bride.
I mean, if you have to skip a wedding,
probably like a Star Wars themed wedding
off 684 upstate New York behind a Putt Putt.
Although, that sounds like an amazing wedding,
(gasp) I should go.
Okay guys, I don't mean to be a nitpick,
but this next story is about a nip pic,
and it ain't no nip slip.
Wow, I'm an insane person.
So this week, Kendall Jenner posted a pic on her Insta
of her on the red carpet wearing a nice gold
see-through number, with the caption, "Oops".
Meaning she might have forgotten her bra.
But according to Kendall, you guys, she doesn't care.
She loves her nips, she's nip positive.
And you know what?
So am I.
Alright, this story is fun and dramatic.
It's like an episode of "Housewives" but better,
which for me is saying quite a lot.
Just this week, Martha Stewart, America's fave crafter
and tax evader, was asked by TMZ to chime in
on Oprah's supposed weed smoking habits.
To which Martha replied, quote, "End of Oprah".
And I can't figure out why Martha would have said that,
but probably 'cause she was high?
Okay, do you guys remember #TheDress
from a couple of years ago?
Well something happened this week that might be even weirder
and I love this.
In a new internet conspiracy,
an audio clip has been released online
and people genuinely hear two different things.
Some people hear "Laurel"
and some people hear "Yanny".
You guys listen, okay, ready...listen.
(audio clip)
Right? I heard "Laurel".
And if you guys heard "Yanny" I'm very confused.
But, listen to it a second time.
The second time I listened to it I heard
♪ Everybody dance now, boop boop boop boop boop ♪
Alright, this week, according to Zoe Deschanel's Instagram
Snooki sent Zoe a fan note that read,
"You're really hot, I'm a huge fan.
Wish we had wine together.
Stay sexy *****"
Heart, Snooki, Smiley face.
Wow.
Zoe later explained on "The Tonight Show"
that she loved the letter but was a little confused by it.
She went on to say
she would definitely have wine with Snooki.
Now, I can't predict the future, but I can say
that a night of drinking with Snooki and Zoe Deschanel
would probably end with a song, something like this.
♪ We are friends ♪
♪ We love each other ♪
♪ Party's here, ohhh ♪
This week in 2010, Miley Cyrus hung up that blond wig
as she wrapped the last episode of "Hannah Montana".
And I bet you guys are wondering,
who took over as Hanna Montana?
Well, I'm going to be honest with you guys.
I did.
Where's my wig, where's my blond wig,
I have a show to go to, ahhh!
Oh my God, you guys.
What a week.
I'm Mike Kelton and that was "The Week's Receipts".
Thank you so much for watching.
And let me know in the comments
how you think Oprah and Martha
will squash their beef.
And I'll see you guys this weekend at the Royal wedding.
Or will I...or won't I?
Will I?
Probably not, I'm not going to be there.
But have fun, I'll be watching it online.
Bye!