Hi! I'm Brent
Hi I'm Ben and we're from The Meat Hook.
- [Brent] We are going to cook from the Star Trek Cookbook.
- [Ben] What recipe, you wonder.
Why the Gyronian meatloaf à la Paris.
Everyone's favorite.
(majestic music)
Brent, I think first before we really get anywhere,
we need to know what makes a Gyronian meatloaf
a Gyronian meatloaf, would you please read that aloud?
- [Brent] This dish is made with hormoos, a parasite
that lives on the backs of Gyronian wamules.
They are virtually undetachable, unless you can get
the wamules to sneeze, hormoos will always flee a
a sneezing Gyronian wamule, They're making up words.
One pound of meatloaf will serve 4-6 or make 6 sandwiches.
I don't know what any of that means but I'm pretty sure
the USS Voyager had more than 4-6 members on it so
I don't understand how 11/2 pounds of meat is feeding
this many people Neelix? The whole crew?
Yeah it's crazy, let's make this Gyronian
meatloaf à la Paris.
We have our hormoos right here
Oh man that was a crazy adventure.
You guys have no idea, when they talk about
How hard it is to get'em to sneeze?
Yeah, it's really hard to get a wamule to sneeze.
Take it from these guys.
I'm going to take 11/2 pounds of fresh ground beef,
So we're already neglecting the fact that we're
supposed to be eating hormoos?
Yeah, I guess so.
What is the Parisian influence here?
Because I don't think it's the Italian Marinara sauce.
- [Brent] I'm going to combine the meat, tomato juice,
onions, 1tsp parsley, ooh la la,
and 1tsp of celery seasoning.
Here's the problem when you let a talaxian
like Neelix cook something a la paris,
Is guess what? Neelix has never (beep) been to Paris.
He's never even left the Delta quadrant.
He's been stuck there his entire life.
Now we knead until the meat is soft and squishy.
I assume because it's a parasite, it's a pretty
lean, pretty lean meat.
I must say so if you're actually gonna go out
and take the time to go get hormoos,
You're probably gonna be looking at a 90 / 10 blend.
Ground beef, normally in the store you're gonna
get an 80 / 20 blend, It's not the worst thing
in the world, a little bit more fat is good,
since the hormoos is so lean we're not adding
too much more fat in here.
So going with beef might be easier, cheaper,
and more realistic since all of this is fiction.
Now that our meat is good and squishy,
we're gonna evenly distribute it in our pan,
Oh I forgot, we're supposed to put,
This is what makes it Parisian.
It's Italian Marinara sauce, is what makes
it from Paris, and there's no real quantity mentioned,
So there we have what I assume a Gyronian meatloaf
a la Paris is supposed to look like on the USS Voyager.
All right, let's get this in the oven
Let's do it.
And here we are.
It does look delectable.
Let's try it Let's do this thing
- [Both] To Neelix
And the whole USS Voyager crew.
I'll be honest, it's not that bad.
I mean it's meatloaf, you really can't go wrong
If I were 70 million light years away from
the milky way and someone made this for me, it would be good
Yeah, there you go, Gyronian meatloaf à la Paris
kinda, sorta, not really at all.
(majestic music)
It's hard to believe that we're still arguing
about which is better, Star Trek or Star Wars,
Star Wars is so much better, It at least has
a universal narrative.
Not the same thing?
I quit, I quit.
MMM! This is really good (beep) right here.
For the sauteed asparagus, let's cue up that
ratchet mainstream song and get this recipie poppin.
(guitar riff)