You have a unique look or even somewhat polarizing look and you got a shaved head, you got the beard.
I'll take it. You dress very well and unique. You combine that look, with someone who is really
outgoing and charismatic, instant intimidation. Like, whoa, who's that guy? Right? I will say
I was. I was concerned in LA, because people were watching me. And I'm like, it's LA. I know
everybody dresses well in LA. But then I'm like thinking about the entire, you don't really see a
lot of black dudes that are buffed that dress that also boom boom groupie. It was it was too much at
one time. And I was just like, okay, I probably look different than what LA is used to. But
not to me, to me, I think everybody is in great shape or dress well in LA. But I also know that
you can be an anomaly in a room sometimes. And I think a lot of dudes...
a lot of dudes don't lean on to that kind of thing. I agree. They kind of like,
tie the things that make them different and try to be the exact thing that they think that guy that
gets girls is a lot of times that I've seen. Yeah. And that sucks, because you end up suppressing who
you are. And you can't even, you're so nervous and the anxiety comes up because you're like,
I have to stay within this box of the type of guy that I know that she's probably going to like,
and you don't even fucking know. Just talk to her and see what happens. Also, it's denial in
itself. Big time. Because if nothing's happening, then why stay there? Why stay in that box? Well,
I know why people do it. I did it for many years. It's comfortable, it's safe.
You won't get judged. You're not going to, your ego won't get hurt, and we protect our ego.
But in this mission, this large mission to protect our ego, we don't have a fulfilling life, because
we never do anything challenging. And we never get the results we want in any areas of life.
So protecting the ego is something that is detrimental to what kind of happy life you're
trying to live. I've had a girl one time, she was asking me about a friend. And she was like,
man, you know, he just he has so much ego. Do you think he has an ego? And I was like, yeah,
you have one too. I have one. It just depends on how we use it. Like we all have that. Like,
we don't want to admit that, especially us as men. But when we're the soft spoken guy, the guy
that can't talk to a girl behind closed doors, you are a man. You're going to be overly competitive,
you're going to want this. Like why not me, I want this too. But when we're out in the real world, we
kind of get timid and all those things that we are in closed doors, so that ego is going to always be
there. I'm going to ask you a question. How do you get guys to tap into that ego? Well, I'll
say this, too, is there's a similarity behind the guy who's the wallflower who's at home who won't
leave because he doesn't want to get judged, and then the guy who's out there who we might use in
popular culture term and say that guy's got an ego that guy's arrogant. Turns out those two people
are the same person. Because the people, the guys will say in this case, who are showing off
and having an ego, being someone who thinks that they're better than other people
being a dick, whatever it might be, that person is also trying to protect their ego.
Because they're trying to show off or do things to get people to like them because
of how fragile their ego really is. Defense mechanisms. It's a defense mechanism. So there's
two different types of defense mechanisms that come out in two different ways. Now
I will say the guy who's still out who has the ego, who's like I'm the fucking man actually
still gets women. Absolutely. Okay. So we do want to strive to be more like that guy. But we want to
come a little bit closer to the middle. Right, because that person doesn't get respect. No,
there's no respect and there's a lack of I would even say control and discipline. Like you kind of
just, like a wildfire. Yeah, I don't think that guy has his life together. Yeah, in most cases,
no offense to anyone that's listening who is that guy. Just saying I know a lot of those guys and a
lot of those guys are very loud because in their life, they're very quiet. And I understand there's
not like going on. And that's okay. We're all in our own phases, stages in life trying to figure it
out. But again, I'm going back to this, how do you again get guys to tap into that? Because there are
so many ways, and you're coaching, that's what I want to know. You're teaching them new techniques,
they're probably developing new habits; how does that affect them beyond the dating?
Does that affect them beyond them finding the woman that they want to be with? Yeah, 100%.
What ends up happening is and what I try and the journey I try to take guys on is
similar to mine. When I finally put myself out there and said, alright fuck it, I'm just gonna do
all the things I was scared to do. You know what was one of the biggest lessons I learned? It was
nothing actually bad happened. All the fears and the worries and anxieties, and the false
predictions that we have, and how bad it's going to hurt to get embarrassed or this or that,
it's really just not that bad. No. And I can say that all day long. It's not going to just,
you know a guy listening to this is going to be like, he's right. I'm gonna go out and just talk
to women now. It doesn't happen that way. Now, it's a great mindset to have and hopefully it
encourages guys. But the real change happens when you can have that mindset, and then push yourself
to just get outside your comfort zone. In this case, it might be going to talk to more women, or
you know, getting online and going on more first dates, you know, whatever it may be.
To then realize, wow, none of this is that bad. I'm judging myself harder than anyone
around me. And nobody's paying. No one is paying attention and they don't care. And we,
it's like a mirror, right? We project it. We think it's happening to us, because we're
doing it to other people. Absolutely. We do do it. But do you know why judge people? We judge
others usually because we're in a moment where we are being that person on the wall. We're
really judging ourselves. Yeah, because we're not doing and we're seeing ourselves in other people,
but we're not doing and that allows us the opportunity to even judge people. Right, it's
like look at that guy. He thinks he's so cool. He's gonna talk to those girls. He thinks he's
so suave. But you're not in action. Dude, you're just saying that because you're scared to do it
yourself. Exactly. We like to bring people down to make our reality easier in our head, save our ego,
and therefore stay in our safe place. I want to show guys that you can go out there and you
can put yourself in uncomfortable situations. And not only are you going to realize that,
wow, this was really not that big of a deal. You're also going to start to get results.