In this WrestleTalk News, CM Punk shoots hard on Wrestler Court, a huge star returning to
WWE soon, Oli’s review of last night’s episode of Raw, and more.
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tomorrow is the Royal Rumble predictions stream where I’ll be getting my title back Luke,
just you wait, the Jampionship will come back home and LIW will be sitting on top once again.
Wrestlers’ Court is one of those things that sounds almost mythical, with mystique
and intrigue surrounding it. Tales of yore are recounted about this Wrestler Court, which
usually involved wrestlers being punished for perceived misdemeanours in a terribly
toxic environment. You know, back when the wrestlers were real men and didn’t play
videogames or whatever. Normally judged by JBL or The Undertaker,
who I’m reliably informed are the best people, Wrestler Court generally devolved into a way
for more senior wrestlers to bully others, again, lovely environment back there.
CM Punk was incredibly active on the ol’ Twitter machine last night, interacting with
fans like he was one of the gang, and one of the topics he spoke on was Wrestler Court,
where he didn’t exactly have the nicest things to say about it. After a fan jokingly
suggested Punk would end up in Wrestler’s Court for stealing Hangman Page’s gimmick,
Punk responded: “Wrestler court was the most insecure small
dick energy average white man embarrassment to the wrestling business s*** of all time”
Feels too cryptic to me, I think he should be more direct.
Someone who’s always been pretty direct has been Ronda Rousey, who hasn’t been seen
in WWE since WrestleMania 35 when she was pinned in the Triple Threat with Becky Lynch
and Charlotte Flair. But that might be about to change, as Fightful
Select is reporting that Rousey’s return to WWE, which they’re strongly pushing for
at this weekend’s Royal Rumble, has been talked about so much internally, at this point
it’s considered a “poorly kept secret”. It’s also reportedly a case of “when and
not if” she returns. This is also “the most chatter that has existed about Rousey
making a comeback since she left in 2019”. This was then backed up by Bryan Alvarez on
Wrestling Observer Live, who said he was told she would be at the Royal Rumble this weekend
as well. Dave Meltzer then commented that Rousey is definitely on the books for WrestleMania
this year - and her being at the Rumble would set up that match. She’s going to win the
Rumble and challenge Charlotte Flair isn’t she? Because that’s the match WWE thinks
we want to see. Not the other match with the other champion right now. Which we wanted
in 2019. There’s been a bit of a Twitter storm lately,
with the hashtag #FreeAli trending following reports of his denied release from WWE. But
it might be someone else that is heading out soon too. NXT’s Roderick Strong and LA Knight
have both been having dark matches as of late against each other, which Strong has been
losing. Strong also lost to T-Bar on this week’s Main Event taping, and out of the
two of them, it was LA Knight who had a backstage confrontation with the Dirty Dawgs in a wwe.com
exclusive. This is of course anecdotal evidence, but
with Strong being 38 years old, it’s highly unlikely he’ll get a fair shake on the main
roster, and with his wife Marina Shafir and his former Undisputed Era buddies in AEW,
there’s a case to be made for Strong to consider heading out of WWE soon. That’s
if WWE let him. #FreeAli. Amanda Huber commented on the #FreeAli situation,
comparing it to when the late Jon Huber was denied his release from WWE too, saying she
knows what it’s like to be stuck, but he will flourish once he’s free. Interestingly,
Sasha Banks then liked this tweet, so it seems like she’s on board the #FreeAli train too.
Before we get into Oli’s review of Raw, here’s a quick word from today’s sponsor.
Before we get on with the rest of the episode, I’d just like to say a big thank you to
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Now it’s time for my review of last night’s Raw… in about 5 minutes.
Bobby Lashley and Brock Lesnar opened Raw with the manlinest of Weight Watchers programs:
a weigh in before a fight. Being an actual real fighter, Lesnar did not
take this seriously, stepping on the scales as his Cowboy Brock variant to read 286 pounds.
Lashley, as has been the way throughout this feud so far, was made to look 13 pounds worse
at 273. I really like that WWE are doing something
other than their overdone contract signing segments, but this never felt strong enough
to be the full go-home angle. And as good as Brock has been on the mic as a babyface,
you’ve got Paul Heyman and MVP right there, who have yet to do a proper shoot promo battle
- which would’ve been a far more effective build.
Zelina Vega - she’s the Queen of the Ring tournament winner. She’s one half of the
women’s tag team champions. But she’s also a joke heel character with a silly English
accent and a crown. Bianca Belair easily beat her in a few minutes.
WWE actually realised they broke Damien Priest’s unbeaten clean record on the main roster last
week, and actually had the commentators reference it even though wins and losses don’t matter.
As a reward, the man who gave him his first proper loss on the main roster, Kevin Owens,
got a shot at the United States title. But Priest better not just watch out for Owens’
injury faking tactics, because WWE warned us he also speaks French and English fluently.
They started out hot with swanton bombs to the outside and Frog Splashes. It was all
set to be another terrific match like last week, but it was all undone by a terrible
finish. KO started to fake another injury, but rather than get tricked again, Priest
got Damien and beat him up so much the referee DQ’d him - meaning he lost the match but
retained his title. It presents him as either a heel or an idiot,
and the crowd booed. At least their inevitable next match will have some kind of anti-DQ
stipulation, which will provide a lot of good false finishes.
That’s if Priest gets that far, as Sonya Deville threatened him backstage with suspension
if he carried on this way, or maybe even worse. It’s a shame Raw put on the US title match
here, as it would’ve been a lot better to save that for a later episode and have upper
midcard wrestlers like Owens and Priest focus on the Rumble build.
Instead, WWE treated their 30 person elimination matches, typically the most exciting and anticipated
stipulation of the calendar year, as an afterthought - just chucking a bunch of women together
for Rhea Ripley, Dana Brooke and Liv Morgan to beat Carmella, Nikki A.S.H. and Tamina.
And the men’s match was built with the Mysterios beating the Street Profits, then Dom tried
to throw out Rey, but Rey reversed and threw out his own son, and then Ford threw Rey out,
then Dawkins threw out Ford. And everyone’s like, oh you guys, it’s everyone for themselves,
while Dom’s like, but daddy do you not love me? And the Dirty Dawgs chucked Dawkins out,
and the faces were like, well f*** you, and beat them up.
No Big E. No Balor. No Veer Mahaan. Not a single credible or exciting Raw wrestler was
involved in the Rumble match build. Speaking of Veer… it’s time for our new
segment: Where’s Veer? This week, he’s travelling the ocean which also has some weird
carnival like thing going on. Can you find Veer? Comment down below and I’ll reveal
the answer in tomorrow’s news! Academic Challenge, I am ready to be sports
entertained. Despite a lacklustre title change two weeks
ago, Alpha Academy and RK-Bro put on last week’s most entertaining segment, which
they managed to exceed on this Raw. After Chad Gable got some excellent hometown
heat - let it be noted that Ohio also boos education - the two teams competed in a spelling
bee. Otis correctly spelled Emmental. Riddle knew how to spell calibration because that’s
what he does with his marijuana scales. DRUG REFERENCE! [DO A SILLY ANIMATION BIT?] But
Chad’s arrogance got the better of him. Despite being the one who set this all up,
he spelled dissolution rather than disillusion - we’re saying the same thing - because
of Kevin Patrick’s Irish accent, and he didn’t wait for the definition. It was a
genuinely great piece of comedy and heel comeuppance. Randy then not only spelled the final word
Dumbbell correctly, he also spelled out how he’s going to beat Gable right now: R K
O. That is a seamless segue, I salute you Orton.
This feud has gotten so good the last two weeks, I don’t care that I’ve seen Randy
easily beat Chad like 8 times last month! And neither do WWE, because they presented
this match like it was the first time they’d both wrestled, and it was awesome.
They were through a commercial break, and really put over Gable’s wrestling skill,
frequently getting the better of Orton. In fact, it was arguably only Riddle beating
up Otis on the outside that distracted Chad long enough for Randy to hit an RKO and win.
This was all the best thing on the show by far.
Riddle chose the academic challenge for next week… a scooter race. Which is less promising,
and the crowd didn’t really pop for it because weirdly, considering how physical their artform
is, WWE is terrible at slapstick comedy. Alexa Bliss is still on her way to Raw, presumably
waiting for Veer to give her a lift. She implied she murdered two girls that bullied her when
she was young. So straight out the Vince McMahon tormented monster playbook, a la Kane and
Braun Strowman, etc. With the more modern McMahon tropes, it’s
time for an incomprehensible promo with Austin Theory, which even Vince now looks either
actively bored or confused in by the end! Where’s the Egg?
But it’s hard to complain when it’s resulting in a legit sustained push of a young star.
After beating Finn Balor last week, he was trying to claim another Bullet Club leader’s
crown against AJ Styles here. They had a very good TV match that was perfect for what they
were trying to do: get Theory over in defeat. We got the new advert for WWE 2K22, which
was really cool as usual. Becky Lynch and Doudrop had a Zoom call despite
just being a room apart when Doudrop jumped her at the end.
Seth Rollins said he’s going to take one more trip to SmackDown this Friday hahahahahaha.
And the main event segment saw Miz stage a birthday celebration for his wife and wanted
murderer Maryse. There was a misdirect with a suspicious present
in the ring just being the murder weapon brick itself, so Edge and Beth Pheonix just came
out the entrance like normal. Beth completely no-selling the effects of traumatic brain
injury just the previous week. If anything, it made her more swole.
The IT and GRIT couple never touched, though, as Miz had laid out lots of security for Edge
and Phoenix to beat up - including a powerbomb through a cake, and, because everyone’s
doing it these days, a 3D. What did you think of Raw? Let me know in
the comments. 75% of you voted for WWE know there's also a Rumble match at the Royal Rumble,
right? In our poll on a pole match on the community tab.
The Academic Challenge stuff was an example of WWE at its best: mixing their style of
sports entertainment with great in-ring wrestling. But the rest of the show felt like the focus
was in the wrong place. This is a go-home show for the Rumble, yet it was a total afterthought.
This week’s Raw is 3 out of 5. Now watch Adam Blampied count down 10 times
WWE got the Royal Rumble wrong…