>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. GIVE IT UP FOR THE BAND.
LOUIS CATO AND "THE LATE SHOW" BAND.
HELLO, LOUIS. >> Louis: [LAUGHS]
>> Stephen: LOUIS, DO YOU EVER WEAR COWBOY BOOTS?
>> Louis: NO. >> Stephen: I FORGOT TO TAKE
THEM OFF BETWEEN ACTS AND NOW THEY'RE REALLY CHAFING MY CAL
CALVES. >> Louis: BLISTERS?
>> Stephen: TERRIBLE IDEA. LOUIS, WE HAVE FANTASTIC GUESTS
TONIGHT. FORMER CONGRESSMAN, EXTRA
ORDINARY FELLOW, BEEN ON THE SHOW MANY TIMES.
ADAM KINZINGER IS GOING TO BE HERE.
JANUARY 6TH COMMISSION. AND WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A
PERFORMANCE FROM THE ONE, THE ONLY, THE LEGEND
MR. WILLIE NELSON WILL BE WITH US.
COME ON! FANTASTIC.
NOW, FOLKS, PART OF MY JOB, AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW,
IS STAYING ON TOP OF CURRENT EVENTS.
BUT I SAW SOMETHING THIS AFTERNOON THAT REALLY
SURPRISED ME. ACCORDING TO A CBS PRESS
RELEASE, WHERE I GET MOST OF MY NEWS, APPARENTLY
THE NETWORK HAS ANNOUNCED THE NEW LATE NIGHT SERIES
WHICH WILL TAKE OVER THE 12:30 TIME SLOT RIGHT AFTER MY SHOW.
AND I WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE CBS' NEW FORAY INTO LATE NIGHT.
WHAT WOULD IT BE? MAYBE "60 MINUTES: AFTER DARK"?
I WAS EVEN MORE EXCITED TO FIND OUT THAT IT'S ACTUALLY GOING TO
BE A NEW SHOW CALLED "AFTER MIDNIGHT," INSPIRED BY
THE COMEDY GAME SHOW "@MIDNIGHT," THAT USED TO FOLLOW
ME ON "THE COLBERT REPORT." WHICH IS GREAT, BUT THERE'S
ONE DETAIL IN THE PRESS RELEASE THAT REALLY CAUGHT MY EYE.
AND IT'S THAT "AFTER MIDNIGHT" WILL BE PRODUCED BY MY OLD
FRIENDS AT "FUNNY OR DIE," AS WELL AS SOMEONE NAMED --
AND I HOPE I'M PRONOUNCING THIS CORRECTLY --
STEPHEN COLBERT. THAT'S RIGHT!
I WILL BE PRODUCING THE SHOW THAT'S ON RIGHT AFTER THIS ONE,
IF I AM ABLE TO STAY AWAKE THAT LONG.
ANYWAY, I'M VERY EXCITED. THIS IS ALL JUST WONDERFUL NEWS.
BUT WE HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO. FOR INSTANCE, ACCORDING TO
THIS PRESS RELEASE, AGAIN, THERE IS CURRENTLY NO HOST
FOR "AFTER MIDNIGHT." AND THAT IS A TOUGH GIG TO FILL.
I MEAN, WE'RE STILL TRYING TO FIND A GOOD HOST
FOR "THE LATE SHOW." AND "AFTER MIDNIGHT"
AND FOR THIS SHOW COMING UP, WE'LL NEED SOMEONE WHO IS FUN,
LIKEABLE, YOUNG, IN TOUCH WITH ONLINE TRENDS, AND AVAILABLE
EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK. SO THE SEARCH IS ON.
IF ANYONE KNOWS OF ANYONE, PLEASE DO NOT BE SHY.
NOW, FOLKS, THE ONE THING THAT --
>> STEPHEN! STEPHEN?
HEY, STEPHEN. >> Stephen: TAYLOR TOMLINSON,
ONE OF MY FAVORITE COMEDIANS! TAYLOR, WHY ARE YOU
IN MY AUDIENCE, INTERRUPTING ME WHILE I'M
IN THE MIDDLE OF LOOKING FOR A NEW HOST?
>> WELL, YOU JUST SAID IF ANYONE HAD ANY IDEAS TO --
>> Stephen: OH, PLEASE. DO YOU KNOW OF ANYONE?
>> YEAH. I WAS JUST THINKING,
UM, I COULD DO IT. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Stephen: WOW. I MEAN, I HADN'T THOUGHT OF
THAT. BUT THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
BUT WOULD YOU WANT TO HOST THAT SHOW ON CBS?
>> YEAH, IT SEEMS LIKE FUN! YEAH.
YEAH, SURE. YEAH.
>> Stephen: WELL, I LOVE THAT IDEA.
BUT THIS IS PROFESSIONAL TV. WE SHOULD PROBABLY
FOCUS-GROUP IT. GUYS, DO YOU THINK SHE SHOULD?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] GET UP HERE!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME THE NEWEST
LATE NIGHT HOST: TAYLOR TOMLINSON!
HAVE A SEAT. >> Taylor: THANK YOU GUYS
FOR CLAPPING. THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO
EMBARRASSING IF WE FOCUS-GROUPED IT AND THEY WERE, LIKE, "EHH."
>> Stephen: TAYLOR, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE GOING TO DO THIS.
I'M A HUGE FAN. YOU'VE ALREADY GOT THIS AMAZING
CAREER, TO THE BIGGEST COMEDY SPECIALS ON NETFLIX.
YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A HUGE NATIONAL TOUR.
WHAT EXCITES YOU ABOUT TAKING THIS JOB?
>> Taylor: JUST HAVING A JOB. I'VE NEVER HAD A REAL JOB.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE NEVER HAD A REAL JOB?
>> Taylor: NO, I'VE BEEN DOING STAND UP SINCE I WAS 16 WHICH IS
NOT A JOB. NO JOB.
I WORKED OUT LIKE A BUFFET AND A WAXED SALON.
NOT REAL. I DIDN'T HAVE A JOB.
THIS HAS BEEN A REALLY FUN COUPLE MONTHS.
I WAS ON TIKTOK SEARCHING LIKE HW TO NAIL A JOB INTERVIEW.
TIKTOK IS GOOGLE FOR CHILDREN. HOW TO IMPRESS YOUR MAYBE BOSS.
>> Stephen: I WANT TO SHOW THEM THIS PHOTO.
LAST NIGHT AFTER THE SHOW I CALLED YOU TO TELL YOU YOU HAVE
THE JOB. I ALSO TOLD YOU THE BEST PART OF
HAVING ONE OF THESE JOBS IS BEING ABLE TO FIND AND HIRE
REALLY GOOD PEOPLE. THIS IS THE MOMENT THAT I TOLD
YOU THAT YOU HAVE A JOB. [CHEERING]
THIS IS -- LET'S ZOOM IN RIGHT THERE.
THAT'S IT RIGHT THERE. I JUST...
IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PHOTO. I WANT TO HAVE A CAPTION
CONTEST. WHAT IS GOING THROUGH HER MIND?
WHAT IS SHE REACTING TO? >> Taylor: WHEN YOU LOG INTO
THE ZOOM AND YOU REALIZE YOU SHOULD HAVE DRIED YOUR HAIR AND
PUT ON MORE MAKEUP THAT I DID NOT I GOT THE JOB.
I THOUGHT THEY WERE CALLING TO LET ME DOWN EASY SO I WASN'T
SURE WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. TO ME, THIS IS THE FACE OF LIKE,
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO GET DUMPED BUT THEY
PROPOSE INSTEAD. STEVEN TAYLOR, IF I WAS LETTING
YOU DOWN EASY, I WOULDN'T HAVE CALLED.
I SUSPECT FROM THE GENERAL VIBE THAT YOU MIGHT BE ONE TO TWO
YEARS YOUNGER THAN I AM. BEFORE H.R. STOPS ME, I'M GOING
TO ASK HOW OLD YOU ARE. >> Taylor: I'M ALMOST 30.
I'M ALMOST 30. >> Stephen: YOU'RE 29.
>> Taylor: I'M 29. SO IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM,
DON'T WORRY. I BARELY KNOW MYSELF.
>> Stephen: 959. YOU ARE MORE THAN AN ENTIRE
TAYLOR TOMLINSON YOUNGER THAN I AM.
I DON'T FIND THAT UPSETTING AT ALL.
WHEN EXACTLY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY? >> Taylor: SATURDAY.
>> Stephen: SATURDAY? WOW.
WELL, HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I GOT YOU A NETWORK SHOW.
TAYLOR TOMLINSON, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, "AFTER MIDNIGHT" WILL BE
PREMIERING EARLY NEXT YEAR WITH ITS HOST TAYLOR TOMLINSON!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CONGRESSMAN ADAM KINZINGER.