ANYBODY MATCH THE GOLDEN GLOBE'S LAST NIGHT?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I HEAR IT WAS PRETTY GOOD.
THERE WERE A LOT OF GREAT MOVIES THIS YEAR, BUT THERE WERE TWO
MOVIES THAT GOT CONFUSED LAST NIGHT TWICE, "HIDDEN FIGURES"
AND "FENCES," CREATING A FUN NEW MASH-UP.
>> SO YOU'RE NOMINATED FOR "HIDDEN FENCES."
>> FOR BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE, HERE ARE
THE NOMINEES.
OCTAVIA SPENCER, "HIDDEN FENCES."
( LAUGHTER ) >> Jon: OH!
OH!
>> STEPHEN: I THINK IT'S OBVIOUS WHY THESE ARE THE TWO NOMINATED
FILMS THAT GOT MIXED UP.
BOTH HAD THEIR A.D.R. MIXING DONE BY SOUND MAN CHRIS NAVARRO.
( LAUGHTER ) HUGE NAVARRO HEADS.
>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: PLUS, ALL THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN PRESENTERS KEEP
SAYING "MANCHESTER BY THE LALA LAND".
BUT THE REAL STAR OF THE NIGHT AND EVERY NIGHT WAS MERYL
STREEP -- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
-- WHO WON A LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD AND STOLE THE
SHOW WITH HER ACCEPTANCE SPEECH.
>> BUT THERE WAS ONE PERFORMANCE THIS YEAR THAT STUNNED ME.
IT WAS THAT MOMENT WHEN THE PERSON ASKING TO SIT IN THE MOST
RESPECTED SEAT IN OUR COUNTRY IMITATED A DISABLED REPORTER,
SOMEONE HE OUTRANKED IN PRIVILEGE, POWER, AND THE
CAPACITY TO FIGHT BACK.
DISRESPECT INVITES DISRESPECT.
VIOLENCE INCITES VIOLENCE.
AND THE POWERFUL USE THEIR POSITION TO BULLY OTHERS, WE ALL
LOSE.
>> STEPHEN: YES, WE ALL LOSE, EXCEPT DONALD TRUMP WHO WON.
( LAUGHTER ) OF COURSE, PRESIDENT-ELECT TRUMP
WAS TOO FOCUSED ON DEFEATING ISIS AND CREATING JOBS TO PICK A
FIGHT WITH A CELEBRITY.
( LAUGHTER ) JUST KIDDING, HE TWEETED: "MERYL
STREEP, ONE OF THE MOST OVER-RATED ACTRESSES IN
HOLLYWOOD..."
I'M SORRY, WHAT?!
WHAT?!
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?
MERYL STREEP IS OVERRATED?
I MEAN, HAVE YOU SEEN "SOPHIE'S CHOICE?"
"THE FRENCH LIEUTENANT'S WOMAN?" HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ONE WITH THE
DEAD PEOPLE SHE'S EVEN FUNNY IN THAT ONE?
( LAUGHTER ) LOOK, MR. TRUMP. YOU CAN REFUSE
TO RELEASE YOUR TAXES, YOU CAN CALL TO BAN AN ENTIRE RELIGION,
YOU CAN PLAY FOOTSIE WITH A DICTATOR, BUT CALLING MERYL
STREEP OVERRATED?
NO!
( APPLAUSE ) NO!
♪ ♪
YOU KNOW, I WASN'T GOING TO GO TO THAT MILLION WOMAN MARCH, BUT
NOW I AM.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
IT'S GOING TO BE A MILLION MERYL MARCH.
I'LL BE THE ONE HOLDING THE BLU-RAY OF KRAMER VS. KRAMER AND
WEEPING.
AND THIS MORNING, TRUMP SPOKESWOMAN AND FUTURE
AWARD-WINNING MERYL STREEP ROLE KELLYANNE CONWAY WEIGHED IN ON
THE REPORTER CONTROVERSY BY EXPLAINING WE SHOULDN'T GET HUNG
UP ON LITTLE THINGS LIKE WHAT DONALD TRUMP SAYS AND DOES.
>> YOU CAN'T GIVE HIM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT ON, ON
THIS?
AND HE'S TELLING YOU WHAT WAS IN HIS HEART?
YOU ALWAYS WANT TO GO BY WHAT'S COME OUT OF HIS MOUTH RATHER
THAN WHAT'S IN HIS HEART!
>> STEPHEN: YES, STOP LISTENING TO HIS MOUTH AND STOP MAKING FUN
OF WHAT'S IN HIS HEART.
THAT WOULD BE CRUEL BECAUSE HIS HEART IS SEVERELY DISABLED.
( APPLAUSE ) ITS MEDICALLY INCAPABLE OF
EMPATHY.
COME ON!
OF COURSE, FOR MONTHS, WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT HOW SOMEBODY
HACKED OUR ELECTION AND DONALD TRUMP HAD HIS THEORY OF WHO
THAT WAS.
>> I MEAN, IT COULD BE RUSSIA, BUT IT COULD ALSO BE CHINA.
IT COULD ALSO BE LOTS OF OTHER PEOPLE.
IT ALSO COULD BE SOMEBODY SITTING ON THEIR BED THAT
WEIGHS 400 POUNDS, OKAY?
>> STEPHEN: WELL, TURNS OUT TRUMP WAS RIGHT TO BLAME A
400-POUND MAN SITTING ON BED, ASSUMING PUTIN SLEEPS WITH HIS
HORSE.
( LAUGHTER ) BECAUSE, ON FRIDAY, THE DIRECTOR
OF NATIONAL INTELLIGENCE RELEASED A REPORT THAT FOUND
THAT PUTIN ORDERED THE EFFORT TO UNDERMINE FAITH IN THE ELECTION
AND HELP TRUMP.
APPARENTLY, AFTER RUSSIA WAS EMBARRASSED BY THE OLYMPIC
DOPING SCANDAL, PUTIN WANTED TO DISCREDIT THE IMAGE OF THE
UNITED STATES AND CAST IT AS HYPOCRITICAL.
HEY, PUTIN, WE DON'T NEED ANY HELP LOOKING HYPOCRITICAL.
OKAY?
WE'RE THE COUNTRY THAT INVENTED BOTH CHILI CHEESE FRIES AND OPEN
HEART SURGERY.
WE GOT THIS ONE.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
WELL, AFTER MONTHS OF DENYING IT, TRUMP NOW ACCEPTS THAT THE
RUSSIANS HACKED OUR ELECTION.
AND HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHO TO BLAME -- "GROSS NEGLIGENCE BY
THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL COMMITTEE ALLOWED HACKING TO
TAKE PLACE."
HE WENT ON TO SAY THAT ALL BANK ROBBERIES ARE THE BANKS' FAULT,
AND IF PEOPLE DIDN'T WANT TO GET STABBED, WHY DOES THEIR RIBCAGE
MAKE SUCH A STURDY KNIFE HOLDER?
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
NOW THIS RUSSIAN HACK IS DISTURBING, BUT TRUMP'S CHIEF OF
STAFF REINCE PRIEBUS, SAYS THERE'S A THING THAT EVERYONE
NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND.
>> HERE'S THE THING THAT I THINK EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND --
WHEN, WHEN THIS WHOLE THING STARTED, IT STARTED FROM THE
RUSSIANS, 50 YEARS AGO.
IN OTHER WORDS, THIS IS SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN GOING ON
IN OUR ELECTIONS FOR MANY, MANY YEARS.
IT HAPPENS, EVERY ELECTION PERIOD.
>> STEPHEN: YES, DON'T WORRY.
IT HAPPENS.
THE RUSSIANS HAVE ALWAYS PICKED OUR PRESIDENTS.
WHO CAN FORGET THE FAMOUS HEADLINE "PUTIN DEFEATS TRUMAN."
AND, BESIDES, ACCORDING TO TRUMP ADVISER KELLYANNE CONWAY, THIS
HACKING IS NOT A BAD THING.
>> ALL OF THIS AMOUNTS TO A SIMPLE FACT, WHICH IS THAT
ALLEGED ATTACKS, ALLEGED AND ASPIRATIONS TO INTERFERE WITH
OUR DEMOCRACY FAILED AND THEY FAILED AND WE KNOW THAT BECAUSE
DONALD TRUMP WON.
>> STEPHEN: YES, DONALD TRUMP WON.
AMERICA, ZERO.
( APPLAUSE ) SPEAKING OF TRUMP AND HIS
FAMILY, DID YOU HEAR THE BREAKING NEWS TODAY ABOUT JARED
KUSHNER.
JARED KUSHNER, OF COURSE, IS TRUMP'S SON-IN-LAW, AND ALSO
AMERICA'S WORST-SELLING STRAIN OF MARIJUANA.
DO NOT SMOKE THE JARED KUSHNER.
AND ACCORDING TO PEOPLE CLOSE TO TRUMP, KUSHNER WILL BE NEED A
SENIOR ADVISOR TO THE PRESIDENT.
THE PICK MAKES SENSE -- TRUMP AND HIS SON-IN-LAW SEE EYE TO
EYE ON A LOT OF ISSUES.
FOR INSTANCE, THEY BOTH THINK IVANKA'S HOT.
( LAUGHTER ) BASED ON A TRUE STORY, THAT
JOKE.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT TRUMP HIRING HIS SON-IN-LAW
IS RAISING A LOT OF QUESTIONS, LIKE "IS THIS LEGAL?"
AND "DOES TRUMP KNOW ANYONE WHO'S NOT IN HIS FAMILY?"
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
SPEAKING OF SOURCES OF SHAME FOR NEW YORK CITY, ANY GIANTS FANS
HERE?
NO?
BRUTAL GAME.
THE GIANTS LOST TO THE PACKERS 38 TO 13.
ELI MANNING COULDN'T GET ANYTHING GOING, ODELL BECKHAM
JR. KEPT DROPPING PASSES, AND THE DEFENSE EVEN LET AARON
RODGERS THROW A HAIL MARY.
LUCKILY, NEW YORK FANS ARE USED TO BEING EMBARRASSED, SINCE WE
ALSO HAVE THE JETS.
( LAUGHTER ) SOME ANGRY GIANTS FANS ARE
POINTING TO THIS PHOTO OF SEVERAL PLAYERS ON A BOAT IN
MIAMI LAST WEEK, SAYING THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN FOCUSED ON THE
GAME.
YESTERDAY, THE PLAYERS ON THAT BOAT HAD A COMBINED THREE
DROPPED PASSES, AND TWO WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR SCHEDS, JUST
THINK, IF THEY HAD CAUGHT THOSE TOUCHDOWNS, THE GIANTS WOULD
HAVE LOST BY ONLY 11 POINTS.
WAY BETTER.
IT DOESN'T HELP WHEN YOU ZOOM IN YOU CAN SEE ELI MANNING WATER
SKIING BEHIND THE BOAT WITH DOLPHINS WEARING A SHIRT THAT
SAYS "I DON'T CARE ABOUT FOOTBALL"!
( LAUGHTER ) WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW, BILLY JOEL