do you happen to have a podcast discussing loyalty to marriage that
involves marriage to a service member I see many marriages military spouse where
the service member has a great background in the military but lacks
marriage at home you know I actually have answered this question before and
maybe not this specific but I'm gonna go over it quickly just because this isn't
just about military you know relationships it's about any
relationship but you know from a military perspective absolutely military
relationships are very hard you've got time away
you got classified work there's a lack of understanding of what's going on at
work then you've got lives at stake right and with that the job has to come
first and that's a very hard thing for people to understand that the job has to
come first why does it have to come first for survival because the harder
you train the better you know your teammates the better each shot you are
the better your chance for actual survival in a combat situation so a
spouse has got to understand that right that in order for the service member to
take care of the family family the service member has to do his utmost to
prepare himself and his team for war the number one priority now
what the spouse has to understand is that this doesn't mean that he wants to
spend time away from his family he doesn't want to prioritize his team over
his family he doesn't want to miss the recital doesn't wanna miss the ballgame
doesn't want to miss the teachers conference but he has to he has to so
spouse don't be mad when he makes that priority accept and understand that the
family is the number one priority it is the
number one priority but in order to be there for the family he's got to prepare
for war so that he can come home to his family after deployment now this this
obviously also applies to police this applies to firefighters and I'll tell
you what it applies really to the breadwinner man
or wife husband or wife in any walk of life right if you're the breadwinner for
the family you've that that's what you're doing you the way that you're
taking care of the family is by bringing home money so that there is food and
housing and clothing and a secure future that's what you're doing and so the the
spouse in these situations has to understand that the hard work the hard
work and the hours and the days and the weeks that are taken away from the
family is actually done to provide for the family
right so that's the the key piece that that people have to understand that that
the the spouse has to understand now the service member and again I've talked
about this before the service member or the firefighter or the police officer or
the breadwinner what they have to do is they have to make sure that they don't
go overboard that they draw the line somewhere that they don't destroy what
it is that you're trying to protect don't destroy what it is you're trying
to take care of don't give the the plant so much water that you drown it don't
cook the steak so long that you burn it don't work so hard for your family that
you don't have a family anymore you've got to have the balance in one of the
things that you got to do is you got to explain that to the family and you got
to tell them what's up and you've got to tell them that
they are the most important thing and that all this work that you're doing
that's taking you away from them is actually being done for them and you've
got to communicate that to them they've got to understand it's hard for them
that's hard for a year old kid to understand why you're missing the the
the baseball game or what the the six year old growing while you're missing
the digits who tournament or whatever it's hard to explain that but you've got
to at least try you've got to make it evident them and you also have to make
sure you don't have you abuse it right because work work can be fun and hanging
out with our teammates for an extra day of shooting or an extra day of jumping
or having a beer at the pub on the way home that can all sometimes be more
appealing than the recital then the ball game so don't abuse it you you have to
take care of your family and you have to talk to each other and understand this
balance together understand the sacrifices that are being made on both
sides so that you can work it out and maintain the strength of that entity the
family that you're trying to take care of