(drunken stupor atmosphere)
GUY, GUYS, CAN I SHOW YOU SOMETHING THAT I'VE NEVER SHOWN
ANYONE BEFORE?
UH, YES.
OH YEAH. LOOK AT THAT.
- WOO. - THIS SPOT,
THIS SPOT, I GOT FROM A PLUTO SNAKE.
HE DREW MY BLOOD. I DREW MY BLASTER, AND I ERASED HIS STUPID FACE SNAKE.
SNAKE FACE, WOOPS!
(laughter)
WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP. I'M TRYING TO SLEEP.
OH, OH, OH, MRS. SPACE BEER. WHAT CELESTIAL BUG CLIMBED UP YOUR BUTT?
OOH...
YOU KNOW THIS IS THE WORSE SPACE SPRING BREAK EVER.
(laughter)
(TOGETHER): NUTTBUSTER! NUTTBUSTER! NUTTBUSTER!
YEAH!
HEY, WHERE'D YOU GET THAT ONE?
UH, THAT'S...
OH, COME ON JUST TELL US.
I JUST HAD A TATOO REMOVED. THAT'S ALL.
WHAT DOES IT SAY? MOMMY?
(laughs)
NO. IT SAYS, SS IOWA CITY.
WHAT'S THE SS IOWA CITY?
BEFORE I WAS COMMANDER NUTTBUSTER OF THE GALACTIC POLICE,
I WAS PETTY OFFICER NUTTBUSTER OF THE GALACTIC SPACE CORPS.
I WAS ON THE SS IOWA CITY. WE WERE DELIVERING MINING EQUIPMENT
TO THE DIAMOND MOON OF FLOVIAN 15.
WHEN AN ASTEROID HIT OUR SHIP, AND BREACHED A HULL.
(sigh) THOSE WHO COULD MADE IT TO THE PODS, BUT FOR THE REST
OF US THERE WAS ONLY TIME TO PUT ON OUR SPACE SUIT, AND OUR SPACE HELMETS.
OF THE 3000 CREW MEMBERS, ONLY 15 MADE IT TO THE ESCAPE PODS.
400 IMPLODED WITH THE SHIP ITSELF.
THAT LEFT 2585 MEN FLOATING IN THE DARKNESS OF SPACE.
MILLIONS OF MILES OFF COURSE WITH NO ONE COMING TO RESCUE THEM.
AND THAT'S WHEN THE SPACE SHARKS SHOWED UP.
AT FIRST, JUST ONE OR TWO WERE NIBBLING AT US, BUT THEN
AS WE TRIED TO FIGHT THEM OFF IT TURNED INTO A FEEDING FRENZY.
YOU EVER SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO BLOOD IN SPACE?
WHEN IT SPIRTS FROM YOUR BODY IT CRYSTALIZES INSTANTLY.
IT'S ALMOST LIKE SNOW FLAKES.
AND THROUGH THAT RED HAZE YOU COULD SEE THE GLOWING TEETH OF
THOSE SHARKS TEARING AT THE FLESH.
(NUTTBUSTER): OF THE 2585 MEN FLOATING IN SPACE, ONLY 11 SURVIVED ONCE THE
RESCUE ARRIVED.
THE REST WENT TO THE SPACE SHARKS.
I HAD NO IDEA.
UH, SAY, WAVES, I THINK I COULD USE SOMETHING A BIT STRONGER.
HOW ABOUT A PULL OFF THAT COLONEL FISHBONE?
ANYTHING FOR OUR NEW FRIEND THE COMMANDER.
YEAH!
WOO!
(snoring)
SWEET DREAMS CAPTAIN WAVES.
PARTY.