(drill whirling)
- What the hell is going on in here?
City ordinances clearly state,
you cannot begin construction before 8:00 AM.
Tell me why I shouldn't call
the co-op president right this very second?
- Honey, unless you woke up spackled and pressed like that,
you've been at work for a while too.
- Spackled?
- No, it looks good. I won't tell on you.
Guys cut the noise.
- Dammit!
You are at least 45 minutes past
the legal cutoff time to be working.
- All right. Slow down.
- No, I don't need to slow down. What I need is peace.
What I need is privacy. What I-
- Hey, what would you need is to get-
- Go, go. That way. That way.
Here.
- Is there a problem with the opera tickets?
- No, I'm busy tonight.
There's some construction in my building I need
to stay on top of.
Excuse me? Where is the plumber?
- Who? Enzo?
He's already moved on to the next job site in Westchester.
- What?
- Pipes been laid, Ma'am
- Liza, can I see you in the powder room?
- Oh my God.
Okay. I'll get a plumber in here.
- It's about time. I've been waiting forever.
Enzo? Hello.
- Bathroom still in the same place.
- Yeah.
- So how have you been?
- You don't have to do that.
You disappeared over a year ago. I got the hint.
- Well, I was seeing someone.
But now I'm not.
- I guess you're out of excuses.
- I guess I am.
- How's dinner Thursday?
- Okay. - I'll pick you up.
- Oh my God. I'm going on a date with my plumber.
Exquisite. I can't let you buy that for me.
That is a $500 bottle.
- I know. Trying to impress you.
First date. Don't get used to it.
- Enzo has invited me to stay over.
- Yikes. What did you pack?
- Liza, I don't know what to expect.
I need to prepare for polyester.
- This is my place.
- It's so clean and spacious.
- You should see the master bedroom.
- I intend to.
- Hey, morning sleepy head.
Did you meet my chef?
- Your chef? If I could have my eggs poached, please.
- More like over easy, dear.
- What'd you say ma?
- Ma? This is your mother. - Of course.
- And she lives with you?
- No, I live with her.
- So how old are you?
- Madam, none of your business.
Lauren Heller. This is my boyfriend, Enzo.
- Enzo, hi. You look so familiar.
Have we met before?
- Okay, you see that guy?
- Yeah, the one with his shlong out?
Yeah, how can we miss it.
- That is Diana's boyfriend.
- I can't watch that.
- No, no. Just wait, wait, wait one second.
You know, I wonder if Diana knows about this?
Ms. Trout, there's something I need you to see.
- Enzo does porn.
- Did porn. This is the only one I could find.
And you don't have to worry. It's been taken care of.
- You got it off? Down?
- I did. Now, except for one copy.
- I hate that you saw that.
But I'm not in my twenties. I'm in my forties.
I come with baggage like everyone else.
- I know how you come and it's not like anyone else.
- Are you scared of ma?
- Don't don't be absurd, Enzo.
- Wait up, Diana.
Come for supper this weekend. The whole family will be here.
Do you cook?
- Of course. I love to cook.
- Wonderful.
Come help me in the kitchen.
- Here's spaghettini.
- You garnished it with cheese.
- It is pasta.
- It is ill.
Oh my Lord, she may be smart in the business
but she's a dummy in the kitchen.
- Okay. I'm done.
I am not gonna waste my time trying to impress a mother
who has held her son hostage his entire life.
Torment the next woman who comes along.
Ciao a tutti!
- I'm sorry, Diana.
- Enzo, we were foolish to think this would work out.
We're from two different worlds.
- Which is why I'm moving to yours.
- Oh no, no. You are not moving in with me.
I tried that before. Believe me, it doesn't end well.
- No, I'm getting my own apartment in Manhattan.
Give me a chance, please.
Yeah, I have a crazy family and I might be a late bloomer
but I got a lot to give.
So, I got some big news.
I've been named to a task force
that's gonna take down a fatberg.
- I'm sorry, what?
- I'm on the fatberg five.
- I'm sorry.
- You know, this is dangerous.
- Should you even be doing this?
- I have to. I got a duty.
My job might not be as glamorous as yours
but this is a big deal to me.
I don't wanna feel bad about it.
- Oh my God. Did you see the news?
- A troubling scene here as a sanitation worker
has gone missing while trying to excavate a fatberg.
- That's Enzo. I've got to get over there.
Enzo!
- I told you it was dangerous.
- Diva. Enzo. Hi.
Okay. Oh my God.
I was just schmoozing the editor of modern romance.
Yes, the modern romance.
And I think we should submit your story.
- What story? - You are love story.
Come on, the photo of you to embracing fresh out
of the sewer dripping with America's digested bounty.
Just like Romeo and Juliet, if Romeo smelled a little bit
and there was poop in Juliet's ear.
- Absolutely not. We are not doing that.
- Diana is giving us the cold shoulder.
- She's still prickly about me and you.
- I guess I just always hoped
that maybe one day you and I would run the company together.
So life is funny, isn't it?
I mean he's the guy I always thought I'd end up.
It's ironic.
- You had a crush on Charles?
- I always thought I'd end up with someone like him.
Cultured-sophisticated man of the world, you know.
- I'm never gonna be enough for you. Am I?
- Come on, I'm just saying that I'm a realist,
not a romantic.
- You're settling.
You know what? Maybe I am too.
For someone who was just taking what she could get.
- I mean, you guys are really are the couple.
Look at that.
- We're not together anymore.
- Oh my God, Diana, that is awful.
I better call the paper and kill the modern romance story.
- I thought I told you I didn't wanna do that.
I will call them myself.
- Flush with love. What the-
- Life gives you more than you thought
but maybe not in the package you expected.
It gives you what you can't breathe without.
- Did you mean this? - Every word.
- Get over here. - You get over here.
- You look beautiful. - Thank you.
I wanted to look nice for your family.
- And now I ask the godparents,
Enzo DeLuca and Maria Batiata to join us.
- She's gorgeous, isn't she?
I really thought they'd end up together.
It almost hit the year mark and then boom, Enzo's out.
Happens with all his girlfriends after a year.
It's his pattern.
- You know, I'm just gonna go home.
- No, no, come with me.
She's gonna be next to me.
- Enzo stop. - Enzo,
these pictures are gonna stay in the family forever.
- And so I hope will Diana.
- Diana, will you marry me?
- Is there a ring involved?
- I'm being spontaneous here.
- Yes.
- Everyone, Diana is getting married.
- Yay!
(Liza clapping)
- I'll make all the arrangements
and you just make yourself useful on the day off.
- You mean like maid of honor stuff?
If you wanna promote yourself to that, fine.
Does seem a little backwards.
All the pomp and circumstance and fabric
for the ones that didn't work out.
- Yeah, seems like the bigger celebration should be
for when you finally get it right.
- You know what?
I agree.
- And now everyone,
please join the new Mr. and Mrs. DeLuca on the dance floor.