[screaming]
The Hash-Slinging Slasher used to be a fry cook,
just like you, only clumsier.
There are three signs that signal the approach
of the Hash-Slinging Slasher.
First, the lights will flicker on and off.
Next, the phone will ring and there will be nobody there.
[ringing] What? What? Hello? Hello?
And finally... (Hello?)
the Hash-Slinging Slasher arrives in the bus
that ran him over. Then he exits the bus
and crosses the street without looking both ways.
He taps on the window and he opens the door.
Get away! Get out of here! You're not welcome here!
Can I have a job application? I brought my own spatula.
I called earlier,
but I hung up cause I was nervous.
Wait. If that was you on the phone
and you on the bus,
then who was flickering the lights?
[clicking]
Nosferatu!
Oh, no, the midnight rush.
Oh, if only there was a fry cook in the house.
Oh, I'm a certified fry cook!
Hey, boss!
Can this little fella here take over my shift tonight?
[creaking]
Nosferatu?
[sniffing]
[slurping]
You got the job, kid.
Hooray!
Hey, get your grill in gear! The crowd's getting restless!
Uh, yes, ma'am.
Quittin' time!
Oh, already?
Oh, I'm gonna miss you guys.
Come and visit us again soon, honey.
We're here every night.
Hello?
I'm here to join the forces of E.V.I.L.!
[creaking]
- Dude. - Huh, wha-?
Sign in and wait your turn.
Red leather, yellow leather.
Get out of the car, fellas!
Take all your money and put it in the bag!
No, Mr. Bob. I expect you to fry! [cackling]
When the full moon rises...
I am the Strangler! [clearing throat]
I'm the Strangler!
[growling]
What is this yellow thing?
[babbling]
To be or- Line!
[grunting]
Let the judging begin!
Eeny, meeny, miney-
[grunting] Nosferatu!
[piano playing[
Mime? Mime is his evil power?
Mailman!
[screaming]
Oh, a letter.
Nosferatu? I'll just file that in here.
[chuckles] Huh?
SpongeBob?
[mumbling]
What are you doing in my garbage?
[quacking]
♪ Spring cleaning ♪
But Squidward, for shame.
You can't just throw out the mail of Nosferatu.
Huh?
You have to deliver it yourself.
[gasping] Otherwise, it'll be a federal crime.
And I'll be an accessory.
[breathing heavily]
[grunting]
All right already. I'll take it to him.
Hooray!
There's more.
Here's the rest of it. I have been getting
that creepy guy's mail by mistake for years.
[gasping] Squidward, look.
Bleeders Digest, Bat Fancy, Blood of the Month Club.
[knocking]
Hello.
[creaking]
We're just here to drop off your mail.
Whoa.
[thundering, screaming]
What's happening?!
[clicking]
Aw, it's just Nosferatu.
[thundering]
Phew.
[hissing]
[screaming]
The master bids you welcome
and he thanks you for dropping off his mail.
[chuckles]
Oh.
[belching]
Oh, you gotta try these mummy fingers, Squidward.
So delicious.
Hmm.
[female screaming]
Well, maybe if I put some ketchup on it.
Mm-hmm. Ketchup? Good thing I came prepared.
Catching up.
[grunting]
Ah.
[laughing] Whoa!
[coughing]
Nosferatu, ketchup?
Uh-huh.
The master bids you good night.
[chuckles]
Good night, Nosferatu.
[organ playing, clicking]
This place gives me the creeps. But so what,
it's only one night, right, SpongeBob?
[snoring]
Whoops. Forgot to brush my teeth.
[snoring]
Whoops. Forgot to polish my eyes.
Huh?
Will you go night night time already?!
Nosferatu?
Why are you sticking out of the wall like that?
[screaming]
[clucking]
I can't believe Nosferatu tried to bite me!
He's a real life v-v-v-vampire!
He's gonna suck our blood!
[crying]
[laughing]
Sleepy. Sleepy.
Let's try these doors.
[grunting]
[screaming]
You shouldn't disturb the master's laundry tomb.
He's right behind us, isn't he?
No, nobody there. We're fine.
[screaming]
Please don't eat us.
He wanted to return your mail.
Oh. Well, how thoughtful of you. Uh, thanks.
Whoo. Open it, Squidward. What'd you get?
Let's see. Oh, yes!
It's my Garlic of the Month Club.
[hissing] Wait! Uh-oh.
Oh.
The master is just joshing with you. He loves garlic.
[laughing]
Um.
[laughing]
[organ playing, clicking]
Well, if you're not flicking the lights on and off,
then who is?
[clicking]
Phantom of the Opera.
[laughing]]
Master. [gasping]
[thudding]
[groaning, hissing]
[sneezing]
Oh, no. You got a stuffy Nosferatu.
[sneezing]
[hissing]
[sneezing]
Salutations, Dr. Calamari. The master has a case
of the Transylvanian Sniff Sniffs. Can you help?
[screeching]
Come back in two hours and pick him up.
I'll be right back, Master.
[chuckles]
[sneezing]
[moaning]
Yes, master. I will bring you blood samples and cookies.
Nosferatu.
Dr. Calamari, I'm back.
Nosferatu.
So tell me, doctor, is the master cured?
All better.
Oh. Thank you, Dr. C.
Who was a good vampire?
[cracking]
[groaning]
Oh, yes, of course, I bought you that flea collar
you saw in the window.
[chuckles]
Very fetching, master.
First one to the castle is a filthy,
stinking cesspool of despair.
Huh?
I am soaring like a bat. Soaring! Oh!