- I think there's still too many people.
(laughing)
It's still too, and I know
because a child's leash touched my leg.
Like I was just at a corner and I felt a tug at my leg
and I was like, oh, that's gonna be a small dog.
And I looked down and no it was a small boy
and he wrapped around, and then his mum, she healed him.
So that's kind of, that's what I've been going through.
I don't know who's fault that is,
like the parent or the kid, I don't know.
But I think we could kill that kid.
Yeah we don't need, no kid that's ever been leashed
has gone on to do great things.
You know, name a successful person.
They've never been leashed, I guarantee it.
Bill Gates, he seems like he would have been, but no.
(laughing)
You know Greta Thunberg, definitely not.
She sailed across the Atlantic,
they don't have leashes that long.
I don't even know why you're trying to have kids now.
You know, we're running out of water.
You're gonna have a thing that needs water.
That's selfish to take my water.
Like I think kids are just for like, you know,
people that could never get 100 likes before on Instagram.
And now they're like, oh, maybe with this baby,
like I could get the kind of page activity I always wanted.
Traditional things, I think they're done like marriage.
Like my friend got married last year we're 25,
she got married, I was like why,
you don't have anything to offer.
You know, like you don't come with anything.
Like I would get married like right now
if I could get like three cows, you know,
I get like three cow, walk around the city with three cows.
That's the kind of flex that I'm looking for.
People see me, they're like oh, that's a married man.
(laughing)
My friends try to tip them over,
I'm like, no, no, no, you get married, get your own.
But getting married now is just like combining student debt.
And I don't want that, I don't want more of that.
It's weird, it's bad, I think it's a bad time to be,
you know, I think my generation,
I think we have it like the hardest.
I think it's the hardest it's ever been.
Yeah, Disney Plus, oh my God.
(laughing)
No, just 'cause like we're the first generation
of like all roommates.
That's hard, I have a friend in Indiana,
which is a place where you're like,
I bet he owns a house and it's like, no,
he just lives in one with three other people.
Like everybody is doing very badly across the board.
And it's just hard to go through your day to day
like knowing you're gonna go home to a grown man,
you know, just go home, just clipping his toenails
on your couch, in bed shorts.
Those are just shorts that he wears to bed
but it's five PM, you know.
Did you just wake up or are you calling it in early?
Also, why do I have memorized what you wear to bed?
I don't care about you and there's no release anymore
because we don't have kids.
'Cause the release used to be,
you have a bad day, you go home and you hit your kids.
(laughing)
And you're like yes, I did something with my life
but I can't go home and hit Evan.
You know, he does CrossFit.
He stays in his room for two weeks at a time.
I don't know what he's doing in there.
He comes out every once in a while.
He'll show me a YouTube video and I fake laugh.
(laughing)
Yeah, Joe Rogan is smart, I say that to him,
'Cause I don't wanna have to pay
for what his dad did to him.
Yeah, I think it's very hard to exist right now.
Two people I know, they killed themselves
three months into quarantine, two people I know.
Which at the time I was like, this seems short-sighted
but now, eight months into this shit,
I'm like I think they knew something we didn't.
I don't know, I mean suicide is a taboo topic.
I think it's because it's looked down upon
because you know Christian ideologies are so built in
to our society, that we think that like
if you take your own life, you're slapping God
in the face because life is a gift from God.
But this guy is a gift-giving hack.
Like he gives the same shit to everybody.
Like he gave life to somebody
and he's like I'm gonna keep doing this
and I don't get a gift receipt or anything?
Like, well why do you wanna return this?
I'm like, look who's doing well.
I would like this back.
Like billionaires, that's who's doing well.
Have you seen these people?
They are so ugly.
How do you have so much but also so little?
And they won't die either, billionaires won't die.
Did you think the secret to eternal life
is having sex with children?
Sorry, I've been watching a lot of documentaries.
That's what they're all about.
I'm like why are we documenting this?
Why don't we save these people?
(laughing)
Seems like we're using our resources the wrong way.
Should we help them?
No, we need content, I don't know.
I don't care for billionaires.
Like how do we know that human sacrifice doesn't work?
We don't, me, I've never had a good harvest, not one.
(laughing)