hello sweetest potatoes with the world being the way that it's been for the past year and for who
knows how long i've been reflecting more so than usual on meaningful relationships the biggest
realization that i've had is that it's not so much about the physical time you spent with another
human or even exchange of words or information i define connection as the energy that exists
between people when they feel seen heard and valued when they can give and receive without
judgment and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship human connection
works to its fullest extent when we're being true to who we are the more we love and accept
ourselves including how beautifully and perfect we all are in our own wonderfully unique ways the
more we're able to shine light on and share our darkest fears and deepest insecurities
the more we're able to lean into the power of who we are the more we're able to build deeper
and more meaningful connections now isn't this a beautiful cycle for the final week of our how to
unpotato your life challenge i can't believe it's the last week already let's talk about
how to build stronger connections and deepen existing relationships let's do a little let's
bring it all in do a little hug in the beginning in the beginning of the video welcome all you new
potatoes who've joined the fam since the beginning of this series i'm grateful that you guys have
chosen to be here and i'm excited to venture down this journey of becoming our best selves together
now how to build deeper human connections to start let's give our views on relationships five little
reframes number one i used to think a real friend was someone you talk to every week now i see a
real friend as someone who's there for you even if you haven't talked in a year deep connection can
exist without frequent communication numero dos just like how there are different seasons in our
life there's different seasons in our friendships and relationships as well sun it's okay to let go
of relationships that are bringing negative energy into your life but that being said the way in
which you choose to let go of the relationship is up to you whether you want to gracefully let
it go or not so gracefully let it go it's like han sojun and kang seojin which kind of a friend will
you be and how will you react number four across the span of decades that we're gonna be on this
earth it can seem very long but also very short but that is not the point it's natural and normal
that we won't feel a deep connection with every single person that we meet and that's totally fine
number five whether you prefer four quarters to a hundred pennies or vice versa there's
no shame in our friend making game though they're totally okay and there is no right or wrong way to
make friends now that we reframe what friendships mean let's take stock of the relationships and
friendships you currently have in your life as always it'll be helpful to understand where
we currently are so that we can get where we want to be feel free to take some time
pause this video or pause the questions as we're going through them the first thing list out who
you've been spending time with either virtually or physically every single person mom dad cat
pet dog anything take a look at this list and ask yourself who do you enjoy being around the most
who supports you the most and for each person next to their name give them a plus if after hanging
out they make you feel more energized whole and full and a minus sign for those who make you feel
trained unseen and misunderstood looking at the same list of friends are you really close to them
or do you spend more time talking about more surface topics or gossiping about other people
and how well do you actually know them their dreams hopes fears etc and do they
know yours after you answer these questions which relationships do
you want to spend more time building and which friendships do you want to establish
a deeper connection as always the first step is identifying the second step is rubber to road
and go taking action putting what we identified into practice oh yeah okay so here is a week in
my life partaking in one act of social wellness activity for myself every single day of the week
so far what i've wrote is dearest mommy you are my dreamboat in chinese thank you for loving me
feeding me and supporting me that took way too long okay i'm just gonna write the rest in english
all filled up
it's quite interesting this experience of writing someone the power of sitting down
and putting pen to paper you're just in such a different mindset that
you're so much more focused with writing you have to be a lot more intentional with what
you're writing you need to think of things that you want to write and words that you want to say
to properly convey everything that's going on in your head and everything that's going on in your
heart and to be able to do that the fact that i caught myself smiling throughout writing this
letter when you really sit down to give thanks and to write your heartfelt feelings it's such
a wonderful thing and this card is for my mother so i won't read any more of it and just doing this
makes me want to write one for my dad it makes me want to write over my cousins makes me want
to write one for my friends and i might just very well do that but until then i gotta go to work
good how are you is the road blocked thank you so much i'll be right there
um
conversations and communication are both essential ingredients of connectedness
and they go hand in hand although you can definitely do a group hang
one on one time naturally invites intimacy empathy and openness and you guys can also
ask each other questions you may not feel comfortable asking in a bigger group setting
i'm honestly not the best at keeping in touch with friends over text so getting facetime is
always precious to me and very much appreciated especially under the current circumstances
wash my hands first my heart is so full for those of you guys who are a lot more introverted
can probably relate you can go for weeks at a time without talking to
a single person and you'll be totally fine and i think for me just talking to my co-workers
talking to my team even if it's remotely that to me is enough socializing so i don't really
proactively put a lot of these meals regardless if it's virtual or digital onto my calendar
but every time after i go out and have a meal and catch up with friends i ask myself why i
don't do it more because it's so nourishing for the soul it's so nourishing for my brain
and so nourishing just to be able to share your heartfelt feelings share your fears
share your insecurities share your dreams with one another and to be able to relate to one another
and the foundation of it all is making time blocking off time putting it on your calendar
and being proactive with choosing to show up when you guys decide to show up in me to be there be
fully present it's a beautiful thing alrighty you can sleep like a happy baby tomorrow bye-bye
bye-bye
i've been incorporating conversation cards into my social interactions be it this deck new york times
36 questions that lead to love you don't need to do this with a lover you can do this with a friend
as well and we're not really strangers asking the right questions to foster more vulnerable
relationships is one way to feel seen accepted and less lonely these questions that go below the
surface help to create more meaningful connections when we're willing to be open with our pain and
tell our story with our whole heart not only do we promote personal growth and healing we're also
encouraging others to do the same and that's a beautiful basis for a friendship it's like setting
a culture of vulnerability if you open up or give others the permission and courage to open up as
well so this being in a card and game format also helps put everyone on equal footing like we said
it's like a permission slip for you to share openly and be vulnerable and if this seems too
intimidating for you to start you can start with asking yourself these questions journal about them
and then after you feel more comfortable and confident start asking your friends
hi friends i haven't talked to my dad in a while and i really miss him
as many of you guys can probably relate i haven't seen my dad
all of 2020 i don't know when the next time i'm going to see him is and i really miss him so
let's call him
have a nice lunch and good dinner
dad dropped some wisdom everything he said one hundo alrighty time to go to bed
how many of us have been binging shows and movies since the start of lockdown last year
instead of doing it by yourself have a large party with a friend or friends using extensions
like teleparty or just starting whatever you're watching at the same time although you're not
actually conversing or intentionally and proactively making time for human connection being
present and spending a version or a dialect of quality time together which is quality activities
for the last and final day i will talk through this one because i don't really like recording
conversations like these it is having deeper conversations that may be challenging sharing
openly your perspectives in a very respectful way listening to what the other person is saying
and responding with kindness no matter what kind of conversations you're having whether it's about
the state of the world whether it's about your relationship whether it's about anything when
you're having difficult conversations and you open up you let your guard down it gives the other
party permission to open up and to let their guard down as well and i think that is actually how
you have good conversations and that's how you build deeper connections when both people's
guards are down when both people are able to share what's in their mind and in their heart
as openly and as transparently as they can that is where the magic happens i really do believe
that at the core of all of this is not being afraid to be vulnerable and at the same time
while you're vulnerable and while you realize someone else being vulnerable to treat them with
kindness and empathy even if what they're saying may not resonate fully with you and i think that's
the last reframe the reframe number six that i want to talk about briefly and
we can get very deep into it in like a future video is that just because
what you believe in is different from someone else doesn't mean that you guys aren't friends
and doesn't mean that you guys can't be friends this has been a wonderful week and with that hug
that was a long hug another hug oh yeah okay see you guys in next week's video
where we'll be talking about how to build a good relationship with
yourself